OT fo' Me

I don't like to overwork myself. Around this time of the day (5:30 pm PST) I'm beat. Ready to go home, crash on the couch, hold my wife while my brain starts the slow cool down and the voices in my head stop telling me to "KILL KILL KILL!". But, the benefit deductions are due to kick in any paycheck now, so I need to scramble to pick up the monetary slack.

So yeah, I asked to work extra here at the office. It's just more phone work. Bearing the brunt of a telephonic onslaught of people that really have no business even looking at a computer. Especially those Optimum Online customers. I swear, it must be a requirement to be extremely dense to be a customer of that ISP. But whatever, I need the time & a half to offset the deductions.

And just what deductions am I compensating for? Well, the first one is my life insurance, which covers me for 100 grand (yeah, I'm worth a lot dead, but not much alive) and also covers my wife for 50 G's if anything fatal were to happen to either one of us . . . (enter religious diety here) forbid. That's actually not as expensive as one would think, just a couple of dollars. We get a killer . . . um . . . poor choice of words . . . deal on insurance.

Then there's the 401K plan, which is set to start taking 4% of my paycheck every two weeks and add it to this overly complex system of money investing mutual funds and blah blah blah. It's all over my head type stuff, but what I do know is my employer will match that 4% with 50% and it makes the IRS think I make less therefore they tax me less. This ofcourse goes to my retirement fund because when I'm old and wrinkly, all the money I put into social security won't be there for me. Fucking government.

Our health insurance won't be costing me extra. I was able finagle a sweet little deal with Universal Care for myself and my wife through the benefits guy here at work that is free. Sure, doctor visits are 10 bucks more and prescriptions are a couple bucks extra, but I save in the long run. I wanted Kaiser though, but the price for that would have been nigh astronomical.

The Dental/Vision plans are the ones that are going to be causing the most monetary problems for me. I personally don't need a vision plan. 20/20 right here, can I get a woot woot for pizzerfect vision? Anyway, my wife wears glasses, so I had to get it. The dental coverage would have been free for me but not for her, and she needs a little work done, so I, once again, had to get it. Sure, it's not a fortune, but all these little things add up and make the incoming direct deposits smaller and smaller.

So here I am, 5:50 pm and still at work, talking to jerkoffs on the phone who don't know their ass from proper usage of their anti-virus program. Money is money though. Someone hand me a bullet to bite on.