Box Office Gross-out . . . Late

You know, sometimes I forget to do things around here, and my semi-regular weekly report on the box office top ten kind of fell by the wayside this week. But fear not, since I have fished the appropiate info from the cracks in my couch.

1. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - The most unwieldy title of the bunch gets the top spot. Mostly because church groups have been pushing the advertising on this. Kind of like the Passion of the Christ, but with griffons. And less torture. But is it good?? Sure, I enjoyed the parts I watched (damn kids and their tiny bladders) and if some kids kept their kicking of the back of my seat to a minimum it would have been better. My wife enjoyed it thoroughly though, and she's read the books. I don't do much of that there readin'.

2. Syriana - This intrigues me, but not enough to catch it in the theaters. I know it's probably really great and it will open up my awareness to just how the oil industry operates . . . but there are no swords and centaurs and children put in really dangerous and life-threatening situations . . . so I might just catch it on DVD.
3. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - My adult brother is really interested in this movie. And by really interested in this I mean he's really interested in the blossoming physique of Hermione. Yes, I know, he's a pervert. I'm waiting 'til she turns 18, then I might drool when I see her on screen. Until then, I'll let my pervert brother handle the salivating.

4. Walk the Line - Reese Witherspoon's chin keeps raking in the dough. I'm sure that Joaquin Phoenix's brain eating frogs are helping too, but not as much as the chin. I swear, that thing belongs in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

5. Yours, Mine & Ours - 18 kids huh. This is basically Cheaper by the Dozen & a Half. But, to tell you the truth, 18 kids would make for a pretty fat little tax rebate check. Unfortunately, it doesn't amount to much more than what this movie is taking in at the box office.

6. Aeon Flux - Charlize Theron is seemingly slumming it in this. After those Oscar Bait performances of hers, she does a scifi movie? Hmm . . . methinks someone needed a new phat ride and a paycheck to pay for it.

7. Just Friends - Fat suits are funny. Not funny enough, but having Ryan Reynolds in one should have generated more money. That poor guy, after Van Wilder, he's just been struggling to find something that will make him the star he deserves to be. Maybe his next project will do better.

8. Pride and Prejudice - The reason this is not doing well is . . . well . . . they cast Keira Knightley as the frumpy, unappealing sister. What??! Are they mad? Bollocks to that bloody soddin idea! Whoa, I reverted into limey-speak there for a bit. I think I just need a spot'o tea to calm me down. Cheerio.

9. Chicken Little - Even Zach Braff couldn't save Disney's plunge into the CG animated kids movie . . . as it keeps sinking deeper and deeper and away from any measure of Pixar movie gold. It's a shame that the House of the Mouse let that studio slip away from it. Cars will be their last collaboration, and from the trailers for that, it just looks like something Pixar is doing just for the contractual obligations. I don't hold much hope for the quality of that one, but it will make loads of cash for Disney. One last hurrah before we get to watch truly unhindered Pixar greatness.

10. Rent - This musical about aids, squatting, and a year in the lives of several people is making enough to actually pay rent. My wife wants to drag me to this, but I'm sticking to my guns and not letting myself get dragged to this. Thankfully, the King Kong remake opening this weekend will make her forget about this dog of a movie and will save me from having to watch it. Thank you Peter Jackson. You are my shaggy hero.