Kourtney Kardashian - Konvenient Upskirt?

Kourtney Kardashian, sister of Kim Kardashian, was spotted in New York City, having lunch with some dude (boyfriend? who cares), and being the total attention whore that she is, decided to conveniently have an accidental upskirt. I can tell you that this family doesn't do anything accidentally. The only famous one, Kim, only became famous first for being Paris Hilton's BFF, then for following in her BFF's footsteps and getting into the amateur porn business, and then by flaunting her ginormous Armenian ass wherever she goes. Kourtney doesn't have the benefit of either having a porn tape released (yet) or a couple of tons of cellulitic ass meat following her wherever she goes, so she might as well do what she's doing in the picture below. You can tell by the last picture in this post, that knowing nod to the cameras. You've just been Kardashianed.

Kim Kardashian Ass Cleavage

By now you should know that Kim Kardashian is famous largely due to her ginormous Armenian ass. I'm pretty sure that thing has it's own zip code and telephone area code. E! is running a special appropriately called "Junk in the Trunk" to cash in on the popularity of Kardashian's caboose. I guess they're pulling a bunch of stuff that up until now was "unseen" from her reality show "Keeping up with the Kardashians", which includes these images of Kim showing her ass cleavage to the cameras. Which, is to be expected. She obviously is playing to her strengths.

Kim Kardashian's Ass - Still Huge

I noticed that there hasn't been a Kim Kardashian post on BAFW for quite some time. Which is a good thing as far as I'm concerned. But I realize her gigantic Armenian ass has a bit of a following, so when these pictures of her in a bikini surfaced, I begrudgingly thought it would be a nice present for Kardashian-Ass-Lovers everywhere.

**No actual zebras were harmed in the making of Ms. Kardashian's bikini.

Kim Kardashian Playboy Pics

Kim Kardashian recently shot a pictorial for Playboy magazine that, according to initial sources, was supposed to be a little on the tame side. Just her bare ass and maybe one boob would be shown in the December issue of the popular men's magazine. Well, maybe they threw a little more cash at her, because these early leaked pictures are showing just a little more than that. In addition to the one boob and giant bare (could be bear as well . . . but shaved . . . haha, I said but[t], I should really end this extremely long parenthesized portion of the paragraph) ass, she's showing a little more. Maybe it's the attention whore in her that just blossomed during the photoshoot. Remind me again why this chick is famous? Why am I even taking the time to write up a post and put up some pictures of her? This is what people in the medical field would refer to as "temporary insanity" right? And why are you looking for pictures of this nobody that keeps trying to be somebody by being as assaulting us with her naked body every chance she gets?

All good questions, which your brain will most likely tune out while checking out the pictures below.





It wouldn't surprise me if Kim's next project is simulating sex with a donkey for Hustler magazine. You can tell she's kind of on that path already.

Edit: Yes, the pictures keep getting taken down, but I keep putting them back up. Why? Because I'm such a great guy and all. Where's my Nobel Peace Prize?

Kim Kardashian's Ass is Filler

No, you read that right. It's not "fuller" . . . because let's face it, if it did get bigger, you'd have to hire a pack of little Japanese tourists to follow her around screaming "Gojira!". No, Kim Kardashian's ass is just filler today. Namely because I don't have anything interesting to post about today, but also because rather than posting nothing, I thought you people would enjoy checking out her ginourmous segmented ass. What's that dress made out of anyway? Adamantium? It's got to be some sort of high-tech fiber polymer just invented by men in labcoats. With scientific degrees hanging from their walls. Because only science can hope to control Kim Kardashian's ass.

Celebrities Celebrate Bikini

It's still summer, evidenced by the fact that it's only 8:30 Am here in Southern California, and my house is already feeling a little on the hot oven'ish side. Celebrities know this as well, which is why they keep showing up in bikinis, and people keep taking pictures of them. Cameron Diaz, taking time from her busy schedule of pissing off Peru (hey, that's where I'm from) hits the beach in this bikini, which is distracting me from her weird face and forcing my attention to other areas of her body. For a chick that's in her mid-thirty's, she's not looking half bad. I mean, she could look worse right? Now, if we could do something about her face. Maybe a paper bag. But that wouldn't really work at the beach. Plastic bag? You say it could be dangerous? I'm willing to take that risk. Just think of how much better the picture below this would look if you couldn't see that face.


Next celebrity, and we're kind of stretching the definition of that here, is Kim Kardashian, and her ginormous Armenian ass. This chick, who is only famous for being Paris Hilton's best friend and fellow amateur porno chick, hit the beaches as well, and I hear, caused ten foot waves in Japan after jumping into the ocean.


And, I'm glad she was able to find a circus tent that was not currently being used to cover up a little after she was done causing tsunamis with her ass.

Kim Kardashian Ass Domination Tour Continues

Celebrities are pretty retarded most of the time. Near celebrities, like Kim Kardashian, that seem to redifine the term "attention whore" with every action they take, are even more so retarded. Case in point, these pictures taken as she was leaving a restaurant. Why would she start posing like she's an extra in a Bettie Page photoshoot? Or maybe she's about to pop-a-squat and pinch a loaf right there and then while waiting for the valet to pull around in her car? I don't know. I'm not Kim Kardashian, or crazy enough to relate to her. What I do know is that she's taking great pains to make us notice her ass . . . and it's becoming a personal pain in the ass to write about her. I mean, we just saw her sweatpant'ed ass just like a couple of days ago. We get it. You have junk in your trunk. Can we all just move the fuck along?


And why is she hanging out with her hot grand-mother? What? That's just a regular aged friend with a granny-face? Ooops . . .

Kim Kardashian's Junk in the Trunk

I'm not quite sure if Kim Kardashian's ploy to become famous through amateur porn came to fruition, but it seems like her next step is to show everyone just how much booty she's got available. From the looks of this picture, the amount is somewhere between ample and "more cushion for the pushin'". That thing looks a little bit on the "out of control" side to me. But hey, if it makes rappers want to (allegedly) piss on her, then more power to her.

Kim Kardashian Sex Clips

So, with the imminent release of the Kim Kardashian Sex Tape, it's only natural that clips start leaking out into the interweb so that we don't forget that it is actually happening. You know, so that the participants can make some money off of it. You don't think that this isn't part of some master plan by Kardashian's people to propel her to Paris Hilton proportions . . . do you? I mean, why else would they make a big deal about it? To raise public interest. It's just sad that women these days have to do this to get ahead. What happened to the Women's Rights movement. What did you mother burn her bra for in the 60's? I'm pretty sure it wasn't for this.

Kim Kardashian - Screen Captured

These crazy kids and their sex-tapes. Just because I like to cater to my readership, here are screen shots of the Kim Kardashian sextape she's currently starring in with her then boyfriend, celebrity man-slaughteress Brandy's brother, Ray J. I have to say that the production values are much higher than the ones featured in her BFF Paris Hilton's sextape, and that alone might be reason enough to get this.

But why should you care that this girl, whom you've probably never heard of if you don't run in certain Hollywood circles, has a tape of her engaging in sexual intercourse. Well, there is the part about the water sports, and we're not talking water skiing. Ray J does his best R Kelly impression and pees on her. Not exactly sure where, but I'm picturing it as going all over her face. Because, if you're going to pee on a chick, you're not going to pee on her ankle. Come on, let's be reasonable here. Enjoy the screen shots all over this post and then head out to Egostastic which is hosting the trailer for the video here. They also have more screen captures of the video, along with far better coverage than I can provide. One more shot below.

Search Terms - More Kardashian with Less Pee

This past week was business as usual when it comes to searching. All your favorites show up in the list, but pay close attention to the last few entries at the bottom of the list. They're all Kim Kardashian related (well, most of them). I did read up on what's going on, and it looks like Vivid is releasing the sextape they bought for a cool million. Here's a nifty factoid when it comes to the Kardashian sextape: Ray J pees on her. Knock yourself out.

On other search-related disturbing news, everyone wants to see Harry Potter's flesh wand. Yes, you can scan through the results for this week and notice an un-nerving surge of searches involving Daniel Radcliffe's twig and berries. Mostly his twig though. He's no Cisco Adler when it comes to memorable nut-sacks (don't ask).

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Paula Abdul - Master Interview'ee

Does it even matter what sort of intoxicant Paula Abdul is on these days? Whatever it is . . . keep drinking/snorting/huffing/injecting it, because the results are pure gold. Fried gold. The best kind. And not like golden shower great (*wink wink* Kim Kardashian), this kind of gold is the kind that the whole family can enjoy. This is why she's still part of the judging in "American Idol". And how early is it when this particular news-cast hit the airwaves? 8 AM? 9 AM? That's pretty much prime-time morning news-casting time. Abdul is already blitzed off her mind, and there's only a three hour difference. She must have a bunch of Irish coffee in the morning. You know, the one that's flavored with whiskey.

A Product of her Environment?

All I know about Kim Kardashian is that she and her best friend, Paris Hilton, are connected at the hip. They go everywhere together, do the same things, wear the same clothes, carry the same shiny and ginormous purses . . . and now . . . participate in the same fame-catapulting activity du jour. What's that? Homemade porno. Yes, there is a Kim Kardashian sex tape out there, currently being brokered for sale. The Kardashian camp denies the existence of it . . . but it's probably likely that there is. "Who's she 'starring' in this little home movie with?" you ask. The answer: R&B singer R-Jay, Moesha's . . . wait, I'm sorry, Brandy's little brother. Who, by the way, in what makes this story interesting, takes a page out of R. Kelly's book and ends scene with a golden shower. Look it up on the "urbandictionary.com" if you're not familiar with what that is. It is the classiest of water sports. So, good going Kim. Maybe you can star, along with Paris, in the next season of the "Simple Life". America loves their amateur porn stars.