I Like Technorati Fishing . . . .

'Cause it's so delicious, Technorati Fishing! That's my new little song. Kinda sounds like the cheddar goldfish snack jingle, but it is no way a violation of copyrighted material as I claim this to be parody, and as such, is protected by the freedom of speech amendment. So there bitches. Don't make me get constitutional on your asses.

1. “Burger King Commercial” - The top search on Technorati this morning is about a Burger King commercial? What're they announcing, that they are responsible for a percentage of the rampant obesity that's taken a hold of this nation in plauge-like proportions? Or do they have a new ginormous breakfast sandwhich that tops the 1000 calorie mark, therefore making it a more complete breakfast. "Eggs and bacon and sausage and eggs and bacon and pure lard dipped in the deep fryer and covered in hot chocolate fudge. Mmmm".

2. Timesselect - Apparently a new New York Times feature that allows the common people to intereact with their columnists. Who cares. Most of those people are assholes. Now, you want common unprinted assholes to intereact with your published assholes to make a big ol' asshole sandwhich with a little bean dip on the side. This is going to get messy. And since I'm not into German Schize movies, I think I'll just ignore the whole preceedings.

3. Rita - The east coast just can't catch a break can it? First Katrina, now Rita . . . what's next . . Hurricane Child Support? Alimony. They seem to name them all women names these days, so I figure they should start naming these hurricanes with names that strike fear in the hearts of men. Lookout single guys, here comes Hurricane Commitment. Argh! Run!!

4. “Impeach Bush” - I was walking with the wife a couple of days ago, well . . . actually trying to keep up with the wife 'cause at the time she was pissed off at me because I make really retarded comments all the time that tick her off, and I passed by a couple of liberal bitches who were gathering signatures to impeach Bush. Or throw them in jail. Are you serious jackoff?! Not that I like Bush . . .well . . some kinds of Bush I'm down with . . . but this little crusade of yours will get you nowhere. You know why Democrats are in so much trouble? They focus on the now instead of looking at the future to try to see what they should do to get the power back in government. If only they stopped whining about rigged elections and Bush lying about this or that and focus on finding an electable candidate for the 2008 presidential race . . . that would be a better use of their time. Quitcher bitchin and start finding someone that does not resemble a plank of wood.

5. “Times Select” - Deja Vu.

6. “Don Omar” - Anything I could find about this guy at first glance was in Spanish, and since spics shouldn't be on the computer but rather be picking our fruits and vegetables . . . why would I even bother. What was that, I'm a spic too? So? This is one of those instances where a certain race can denigrate themselves without the white man getting all huffy puffy about it. Yeah, whatcha gonna do crackers. Nothing. Now, beaners . . get to beaning.

7. Opera - The web browser or the cultural event? I know nothing of either, other than it's not over until the fat lady sings. Or when she crashes through the stage because the structural support could not handle the weight. Either way, it ends, and that's as good as it's going to get.

8. "Breaking Benjamin" - This is a band right? Are they any good? Do I care? Anyone care to leave a comment about these people, please. Otherwise, all my brain will connect this entry to is the time in the 1st grade when a kid called Benjamin kicked me in the nuts and I passed out. So yeah, I would like to find this Benjamin bastard and break a bottle over his head. Or a cinder block. I haven't decided.

9. Katrina - Will this bitch just go away. Yes, you came in, you destroyed, you flooded, you killed. Now go away, seriously, party is over bitch. Grab your tampons and leave.

10. Nokia 7710 - I'm assuming this is a new phone. I just can't understand Nokia's numerical classification. Why don't they just call these things the "Nokia So Cool You'll Kill Your Brother To Get One". Or, "Nokia Sell A Baby On The Black Market". I guess that would cost too much in printing, packaging and marketing expenses right. Fine Nokia, keep using that silly numerical classification. But, if you ever decide to use my truly badass system . . . I want me a consulting fee fowarded to my bank. Nothing much, just about 10 grand will do. What can I say, I'm cheap.

And so ends another edition of technorati fishing. Sorry if you got here looking to find information about your latest obsession and found this instead. This'll learn you a lesson boy/girl. Watch where you click. Oh, and that program you just noticed embedding itself in your HD . . . ignore it. Totally benign. *Evil laugh*