Thursday, January 03, 2008

2008 Bikini Mega-Post

Kourtney Kardashian
Holy crap, it's only a couple of days into 2008 and celebrities (well, at least some of them are true celebrities) are out and about in their bikinis. And just where the fuck are these people. Isn't it fucking cold where you are? Yeah, same here. And it's supposed to rain today as well. Anyway, first up is Kim Karda . . . wait? That's a different Kardashian right? Kourtney Kardashian? Whatever. I think this particular Kardashian is famous for being the sister of a chick who is famous for having a big ass and a sex-tape. Oh, and she's also in a ridiculous show on E!. Does it really matter though? She's in a bikini, and I guess that's good enough for BAFW. One more picture of her.

Kelly Brook
I think I'm going to post these pictures in order of relevance. So, Kourtney Kardashian was lowest on the list, so it goes first, and now it's followed by Kelly Brook. Kelly who? She's apparently big in the U.K. for . . . acting? Possibly? I should do some more thorough background checks before posting. But, there is an actual American celebrity hanging out with her. I'm pretty sure they're romantically engaged. Billy Zane can be seen in the picture below. And, he's rocking the Friar Tuck look. Right on Billy Zane. Righteous Piousness!

Christian Milian
Next up is someone you might have heard about. Christina Milian. She's an R&B singer. That's all I have. Here she is, defying the season known as winter, in a bikini, hanging out at the beach. That's pretty much all I have to say about her. She looks OK. I'm not too much into R&B, but it's a popular musical genre, so people might actually be looking for these pictures.

Elisha Cuthbert
And last, but not least, is Elisha Cuthbert. Who happens to have the best set of bikini pictures today. Nevermind that it looks like she picked her bikini in the dark, wearing those bug-eyed sunglasses. And that haircut that just confuses me. The bikini she's wearing lets us take a gander at that awesome Nipple-Hard-On (NHO) she's sporting. NHO's are some of my favorite things to see, so thank you Elisha Cuthbert. I'm also fairly convinced that if you blow up the picture, and study it carefully, you might also get to see some camel-toe. But even if it's not there, you still get the spectacular NHO action.

Bikini'd Cougar Update

Nicollette Sheridan . . . is it time to put some clothes on again? Seriously, grandmother (in the great state of Kentucky) aged ladies should be a little more demure. But here you are, hanging out with the young celebrities, actually managing to look a little better than them. And that would be quite the achievement, if I couldn't get out of my head that you're like 50 something? Or are you already an octogenarian? What is your secret to staying forever young? Is it eating aborted baby fetuses? 'Cause I needs to get me a recipe for that. It's all in the stem cells . . . right? Delicious youth providing stem cells.

Is it me, or does that guy look like he's going to pee on her . . . and she's getting ready for it. And she doesn't mind it. OMG, I think I just turned this site into one of those granny porn sites.

And hey everybody, look, it's Michael Bolton. He's still alive? And banging Nicollette Sheridan? Impressive.

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