HDH - Jennifer Love Hewitt

I really did not think it would come to this one day. Jennifer Love Hewitt really hasn't been on my radar for quite some time, and her recent "inspired by another successful television drama" television series does not really appeal to me. But then, she showed up at The Oscars looking like this, and all of the sudden, I'm thinking I want to see more of Jennifer Love Hewitt . . . well, specifically . . . her boobs. I mean, look at those things. That's either great genes (with the aid of the latest push-up bra technology) or great plastic surgery. Whatever it is, I'm seeing Jennifer Love Hewitt in a new light. A humpable light that is.

Where's Tyra Banks when you need a real-breast exam?

HDH - Avril Lavigne

Despite having teeth that make me want to take up wooden-stake crafting and garlic wreath manufacturing, Avril Lavigne can look good on occasion. Hump-able? Perhaps. She definitely does in these pictures. And, fortunately, her Sum 41 lead singer/real life land gnome, husband is no where to be seen. He kinda gives me the creeps. But, it is nice that he found a chick he could actually say he was taller than. Otherwise, he would have to had troll (figuratively and actively) Canadian elementary schools for height-appropriate dates. Enough about him though. Below is the picture that swayed my decision to include her in the venerable and pedigree-laden HDH entries. How did she know I had a thing for Catholic schoolgirls.

Where's the HDH?

I know. It's Thursday, not Hump-Day officially, and there was no posting for "Hump Day Hotties" yesterday. Well, I can give you excuses, like I was out sick yesterday, and I don't usually post from home because my computer is on the proverbial fritz (screen issues . . . the actual thing is working fine, but can't see very clearly what's on the screen) and that today, while I'm trying to rectify the oversight, my Photobucket is inaccessible.

But, rest assured, I will post something up today with a hottie for you to dream of humping. I've found some great pictures of a certain chick that can be pretty hump-worthy . . . sometimes.

EDIT: Yeah, I used a time-machine to travel back in time to yesterday, and posted this up then. Don't tell anyone though . . . our little secret.

HDH - Bianca Gascoigne

I really had no idea who this was up until a couple of months ago. I don't watch much UK television programming. Mostly due to the fact that I live in the United States, and the BBC can be a pompous bitch sometimes. But, I can't argue the fact that the Bianca Gascoigne upskirt post I had here a couple of months ago has become quite the popular search destination. So, being that I cater (and sometimes pander) to my reader(s), here's a couple of shots of Bianca's other asset. No, not her mental acumen. I'm talking about her cleavage.

It is quite impressive, and a welcome addition to the "Hump Day Hottie" stable I've been building for the past few months. Enjoy the pictures, and let's start focusing on Bianca's northern attributes. I hear her southern parts can get quite gusty . . . specially after consumption of tacos.

HDH - Cortana

This one goes out to all the fanboys. The people out there who constantly look for doctored pictures of Halo characters in compromising positions. Actually, it's just Cortana that they want to see naked. Or taking multiple tentacled penises in every artificial orifice. Yeah, I get a lot of "Cortana Hentai" searches. People are just fascinated by her. Me? I don't know . . . I don't have a thing about virtual sex with imaginary characters. Maybe it's because at my peak of hentai-love . . . I was about 16 or so. Ever since then, if I'm going to look for pictures of people getting it on, I'm looking for real, live-action, non-videogame inhabiting, masturbatory aides. But, don't ever say I don't do anything for you. These pictures are as risque as I could find . . . which is not very.

Sorry baby, I only take Firewire in that port

HDH - Keely Hazell

There's a pretty high likely-hood that you've never heard of Keely Hazell. That is, unless you read a lot of British magazines. She's big over there. I can see why. But, just 'cause she's not hard on the eyes is not why she's the "Hump Day Hottie" for this week. Nope. There's another underlying, and more homegrown reason why. What is it? Amateur porn. Yes, she's got a sex-tape, that I downloaded and viewed yesterday, which involves some pretty vigorous fellatio and shots of feet. Yeah, maybe they could have worked the angles a little towards the end of the video, but the first half is pretty good. You can check out here, courtesy of Egotastic who's hosting the download. Get it while you can. It's been up a couple of days. And one more shot of why you're going to download.

HDH - Amy Smart

Ah, the "Hump Day Hottie" returns this week, and it brings Amy Smart into BAFW. She's been in a ton of movies, usually playing the approachable but hot and completely out of anyone's league girl. My wife made me watch that "Just Friends" movie a couple of weeks ago . . . you know, Ryan Reynolds in a fat suit . . . and she was pretty much one of the only tolerable parts of the movie. That, and Anna Farris eating toothpaste. That was pretty fucking funny too. Amy Smart was supposed to star in a show that should have either come out already, or is coming out towards the end of the current television season. The show, titled "Smith", is kind of like last year's "Heist" . . . but with Amy Smart. So, you can see how it is totally original in concept. You can also see her in last year's adrenaline-fueled, and fun as hell movie, "Crank" with Jason Statham. Which, is, coincidentally, out on DVD. It's like some publicist paid me to post this entry . . . ahem . . . ahem. Hello, where's my pimping your client money? Goddamit, Hollywood's a bitch. Anyway, enjoy another picture, this time, in black and white, which makes everything much more classier. And check out her IMDB page here for more Amy Smart goodness.

HDH - Ali Larter

Since last week's Hump Day Hottie is part of the cast of one of my favorite new television shows, "Heroes", I thought I'd continue the trend and throw up a couple of pictures of one of the other stars of the show, Ali Larter. She's been around for some time now, and I most fondly (and fondingly'ly) remember her from that one scene in "Varsity Blues" where she's wearing the whipped cream bikini for Dawson. Man, that was hot. She hasn't really hit it big since then, mostly taking small roles in movies and now, finally, she's getting one of the leads in pretty much the best show not named "Battlestar Galactica" this season. One more picture of her, not looking overtly sexy like in the small picture to the right of this paragraph.

HDH - Hayden Panettiere

I don't know why people look fervently for pictures of Emma Watson. If I were a pedophile, I'd totally be looking for Hayden Panettiere pictures. The 17 year old actress currently starring in the hit NBC show "Heroes" is . . . I have to say . . . pretty hot. And even hotter when they put her in her cheerleader outfit. Not to mention that she is indestructible, and therefore, destined to be a virgin for her entire life. Just think about it. The hymen breaks, and then, because of her regenerative powers, it grows back. So, every time someone puts it to her, it's like her first time. Think about that one as you check out the picture below.

Seriously speaking though, I love the show she's in right now. Way better than "Racing Stripes", the last cinematic gem that featured Hayden Panettiere. I mean, I didn't watch the movie . . . but how good could it have been? Although, if you think about it . . . that movie has Hayden riding a zebra that is voiced by Frankie Muniz, which should be reclassified as a horror movie. Right? Oh well.

HDH - Eva Green

Bond girls are hot. Hump'ably hot. This is why Eva Green is this week's "Hump Day Hottie". This actress is not all that well known here in the states, but if you have seen Bertolucci's "The Dreamers", you would already be a fan of her. Reason: She's not afraid to do nudity. And that is, after all, the mark of a great actress. Of course, if that actress is Kathy Bates, then you have to do anything possible to keep her clothed, but Eva Green can get away with it. Mainly because she looks the way that she looks. Too bad the newest Bond movie has been getting slaughtered by the CG Penguin movie. People should check that movie out more. If not for the action, then for the sexiness that just oozes out of this chick. One more picture below.

HDH - Penelope Cruz

I've never really liked Penelope Cruz. Until now that is. I don't know why my I previously had nothing but disdain for the Spanish actress. Maybe it's because her face (at the time) looked extremely chihuahua'ish to me. Or maybe because a certain Tom Cruise pretended to actually be sexually involved with her. The taint of Scientology is deep. But, looking at these pictures from the Pirelli calendar has changed my mind. She looks pretty good in these. And pretty naked, yet tastefully covered. I also like the B&W photos, since it makes everything look so artistic and high-brow (I mean, look at Courtney Love's recent pictures). So, this is why Penelope Cruz is the "Hump Day Hottie" this week. One more picture below.

HDH - Tricia Helfer

It's been a rough week or so at work. People are missing days, work is piling up, calls never cease and the e-mail pours in like sand, choking my desire to work, and my available time for posting. This is an excuse of course. That's why I haven't been able to post much of anything this past week. "OH, but there was that terrifically insightful Uwe Boll post you had up" you're telling yourself. While I have posted things this week, it shies in comparison to my usual output. Mix in my employer's blocking of this particular address (yeah . . . douche-move) and me being preoccupied with thoughts of switching employers all-together . . . and that just makes for more excuses. Let's move on though. Focus on what's important. And that's Tricia Helfer. Continuing my secret love affair with the women of "Battlestar Galactica" (because Edward James Olmos in a bikini is not a nice sight). There she is, on the right, looking forlorn because she has no pants, and below, wondering if I will let her have those pants after all. But no, she does not get pants. She should never have to wear pants. Tricia Helfer (along with every single HDH here at BAFW) should be legally bound to never wear pants. Ever. I'm not going so far as having to walk around nude. I am not that tyranical of a despot. Bras and panties works for me. Your thoughts are appreciated on this plan of action. Leave a comment.

HDH - Scarlett Johansson

I'm pretty sure that Scarlett Johansson has been featured in the "Hump Day Hottie" posts in the past . . . but Jeebus-be-damned, she's never been photographed just wearing an unbuttoned sweater, short-shorts and knee-high socks. Wow. My eyes have boners right now. This comes from Allure magazine, which is truly living up to it's name and provides us with this alluring image. I don't remember exactly when Scarlett went from okay looking with a slightly deep voice, to hotter than the sun with . . . but I don't care. And those all-natural breasts. You can't beat that. The slight tug of gravity. Fake boobs just don't compare with the real thing. Thank you, from the bottom of BAFW's croth, Scarlett Johansson.

*Note - I prepped this post on Monday. You don't know how much I've been waiting for Wednesday to come around to make this post schedule appropriate. This is the first Wednesday in a while that I have looked forward to.

HDH - Jessica Simpson

Never has a vacant look in someone's eyes been considered sexy, but Jessica Simpson seems to pull it off so effortlessly. Now, just being retarded-pretty is not justification enough for Jessica Simpson to be this week's "Hump-Day Hottie". No, you see, she's also dumb enough to wear something that is see-through and not wear underwear. So, her folly is our gain, as we get to see the next-best thing to a nipple slip. One more picture after this short paragraph, which is only ruined by the troll'ish looking woman that is escorting Simpson (hopefully to an assisted living retard home). I could have cropped her out like the photo above, but I can't be bothered to cater to your masturbatory needs. Just make sure that you don't whack off and accidentally catch that "woman" out of the corner of your eye during your climax. Just a warning. Don't heed it if you like trolls . . . but then you really should be checking out pictures of Kirsten Dunst.