Observe and Report on this Red Band Trailer

I know there's a certain "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" movie out there that might have ruined the whole "mall security guard" comedy sub-genre. I haven't watched it, but I heard it was terrible. His name rhymes with fart? No wonder it stinks. If you still have faith in the humor that comes from your mall security staff, then "Observe and Report" is the movie for you. And it's so bad ass, that the studio decided to put out a red band trailer for it. I could have sent you to the movie's webpage, but you have to go through some ridiculous age verification process. But Youtube didn't seem to have this problem. So kids, get your watching eyes ready. This movie has the great Seth Rogen in it. Anna Faris is playing "the hot girl" and even Ray Liotta is in it. Check out the trailer, and get ready to revisit the mall on April 10th.

Opening Weekend Movies - 4/20/07

Fracture - I saw the trailer for this, and was not all that impressed. Sure, it's Anthony Hopkins running circles around Ryan Gosling, but that's almost as exciting as the Special Olympics. That, and courtroom dramas are just a bunch of yawns to me. Who cares really.

Hot Fuzz - This, on the other hand, looks like a right fucking riot. I don't know how many times I've said this is from the makers of "Shaun of the Dead", but it is, and that alone should get your "sodding" (as they say over there in the UK) arse into theaters to go watch this. If you go and you don't laugh, then there's something really wrong with you. Like you might actually be the Anti-Christ. Or just lack any sense of humor whatsoever. In that case, stay at home this weekend and catch the Carlos Mencia show. That would probably make you laugh. You twat.

In the Land of Women - This is such a chick flick disguised as a coming of age teen-style story. Meg Ryan's in it, so that should tip you off as to what your getting yourself into as your girlfriend/wife drags you to go see this. And could this Adam Brody kid be more Zach Braff'ish? Stare at the camera while some hipster music plays in the background some more please. God, I hate everyone who was ever involved with "The OC".

Vacancy - This could have possibly been a fun direct to DVD release, but they're taking it to the big screen. Do Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale even have the star power to carry a movie on their own? And do people even care about snuff films anymore? That's so 1998. I'm not even waiting for DVD for this one. If it's on cable, sometime next year, I might DVR the bitch. Might. And only if it's playing on one of the HD movie channels.

In Limited Release Special for 4/20

Smiley Face - Anna Faris is stoned for an hour and a half-ish after eating some pot cupcakes. That's all you really need to know about this movie. Oh, and Adam Brody is in it wearing a ridiculous rastafarian dread wig. What a fag. Here's the trailer, which includes a scene where a dog talks to a fucked up person. Original? Maybe the first time it happened.

HDH - Amy Smart

Ah, the "Hump Day Hottie" returns this week, and it brings Amy Smart into BAFW. She's been in a ton of movies, usually playing the approachable but hot and completely out of anyone's league girl. My wife made me watch that "Just Friends" movie a couple of weeks ago . . . you know, Ryan Reynolds in a fat suit . . . and she was pretty much one of the only tolerable parts of the movie. That, and Anna Farris eating toothpaste. That was pretty fucking funny too. Amy Smart was supposed to star in a show that should have either come out already, or is coming out towards the end of the current television season. The show, titled "Smith", is kind of like last year's "Heist" . . . but with Amy Smart. So, you can see how it is totally original in concept. You can also see her in last year's adrenaline-fueled, and fun as hell movie, "Crank" with Jason Statham. Which, is, coincidentally, out on DVD. It's like some publicist paid me to post this entry . . . ahem . . . ahem. Hello, where's my pimping your client money? Goddamit, Hollywood's a bitch. Anyway, enjoy another picture, this time, in black and white, which makes everything much more classier. And check out her IMDB page here for more Amy Smart goodness.