Ukranian Street Fighters

Oh Ukranians . . . Why fight like this? In broad daylight? While drunk? And with spectators? Oh, it's for my own personal amusement? Then carry on, please. This fight is almost epic. It runs for a good five minutes, interrupted here and there by Ukranians of saner (or should I say sober) minds who try to break up the fight . . . repeatedly. I don't know what sparked this dust up, but does it really matter? I didn't think so. If someone does speak the language and wants to translate what is being said, then please, be my guest. Drop something in the comments section below. Shine some light on this. Or not. It's enjoyable either way.

Lily Allen Slips Nipple, then Punches?

Lily Allen had a bit of a nipple'y evening recently outside of a London nightclub. But that's not where this story is focusing on. I mean, sure, we like nipple slips as much as any other celebrity gossip blog out there, but it's the fight that Lily Allen had with an unknown female directly after the nipple slipping incident that has me a little perplexed. I knew all along that Lily Allen's not much of a girly-girl. Which led me to have high hopes in her fighting prowess. Which is, apparently (from these pictures below) a little on the lacking side. Now, I may not have all the facts here. She might have been drinking which would reduce her hand-eye coordination, which might be the culprit for the super weak looking punch you'll see. Or she just might punch like a girl. Either way, she's trying to wail on this chick, but it just looks ineffective. Thanks to all the paparazzi that crowded the event, as we get multiple angles. Enjoy.




In case you're not into this punching business, here's another shot of Lily Allen's nipple slip. For the pacifists out there I guess. Make nipple slips, not war.

Samuel L. Jackson is Next

That's not a threat by the way. It's just an educated guess, a hypothesis if you will. Bernie Mac passed away on Saturday. Isaac Hayes met his untimely demise on Sunday. It would seem that the Grim Reaper is cutting a swath through the protagonists of the movie "Soul Men" from left to right, and the last cat in the picture is . . . Sam Jackson. But, I'd like to see Death go after Jackson. Not because I want him to die. Hell no. That would be a sweet fight though. I can already see Sam Jackson sending death with it's tail between its boney legs back to wherever the fuck it hangs out when it's not taking lives. So, on behalf of Mr. Samuel L. Jackson, BAFW would like to say: "Bring it on bitch!".

Jesse Metcalfe Eats Fist

It's very likely that if you don't watch "Desperate Housewives" and/or missed the cinematic tour de force that was "John Tucker Must Die", you don't know who Jesse Metcalfe is. But that shouldn't deter you from enjoying the video below of him getting his ass laid out by some dude named "Victor". At least, I think that's his name. All Metcalfe does in this video is take a punch to the face, falls down, and says "What the fuck" over and over again. I guess he might have said something offensive towards Taryn Manning (the chick in the video) or the guy that decked him. Does it even matter though? The video comes courtesy of TMZ.

Girl Fight Fridays - A Day Late

This video is labeled "Chinese Girls Fighting" on YouTube, so I was expecting some kung fu or karate . . . but apparently, these chicks haven't watched "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon", because all they do is flail about and sort of wrestle on the floor for a good 3 minutes worth of video. It is entertaining though, I was just expecting more action. I do like the product placement that happens towards the end of the video. I don't think I've wanted Little Ceasar's pizza in a long time.

Girl Fight Fridays - Whoomp her What?

Encouragement can be rewarding sometimes. Like knowing someone is backing you up no matter what. Whether it's at a job, at home, or when you're beating a mouthy bitch up. What can get a little weird is when that encouragement crosses the line a little. I'm not talking about convincing your friend to get into a fight with another chick over a boy, what someone said, or because she's wearing the same top as you (the most grievous of offenses) . . . but egging her on to "whoomp her asshole" might be a little over the top, or bottom in this case. "Beat her ass" would have sufficed. Or "quit swinging like a little bitch and fight for crying out loud!". That would have worked too.

Girl Fight Fridays - Gel Carnival

This video is freaking awesome. It's got, Brazilian girls in bikinis, a couple of upskirts, wrestling in what would appear to be some sort of water-based lube (think Astroglide), and at one point . . . a chick in a sexy Catholic schoolgirl uniform. It was pretty skimpy though, but remember, this clip comes from Brazilian television. So, it doesn't surprise me. While this is not a fight in your typical sense, and more like a fun-time, I can understand why it's not what you were looking for. But you can't blame me for posting this up today. I mean . . . have you looked at the video? I dare you to find a more boner-inducing fight clip than this one. I have to thank Mark Rogers, Super Guy for posting this up on his blogspot first. Without that, I would have never found this video.

EDIT: The problem with writing posts in advance is that sometimes one forgets to post it up. This was supposed to go up on 1/31/07 . . . but it's showing up 2 weeks late because of an oversight on my part.

Girl Fight Fridays - Smile For the Camera

I like a girl who can smile for the camera while she's in a fight. It displays a certain degree of show(wo)manship that is appreciated. But, don't get me wrong, just because of that borderline goofy action, that doesn't mean that this fight is not on the extreme side. I mean, these chicks are tossing each other against concrete walls, gut-punching and getting shots in the face. These are hardcore bitches through and through. Don't be messing with these chicks. They will fuck you up.

Girl Fight Fridays - Foxy Boxing

I like the idea behind Foxy Boxing. Two chicks, a ring, let'er rip. But most of the time, the "foxy" is not so much foxy, and more lesbian sans-flannels and Docker pants. Which is why this video, makes more sense to me. Sure, the chicks are not the best looking ones around, and this was probably made in an attempt to be comical (not a whole lot of animosity here), but somehow, it's just what I needed to see this Friday morning. So, there it is. Next week, I'm bringing back the girl street fighting. For now, we end the week on a lighter note.

Girl Fight Fridays - Beach Brawlin'

Bikinis and chicks. Two great tastes that go great together. But, when you add fighting to the mix, it's almost like you've achieved Nirvana . . . minus the shotgun in the mouth feeling. The only disappointing thing about this video is just how short this is. At 22 seconds, while you get a lot of fighting, it could have gone on for 22 minutes and I would have been just as enthralled. It even has a third girl (also in a bikini) come up and undo the top of one of the combatants. That chick knew what the crowd wanted. I think she should be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. I'm really tired of seeing that trophy go to really old men in lab coats. If you were to put a stodgy old scientist next to a chick in a bikini, I think you'd know who would win that contest. The world needs more girls in bikinis. Down with lab coats!

Girl Fight Fridays - Sunday Morning Edition

Yeah, I forgot to post this last Friday. So what. I was busy. But, it's Sunday morning, I'm at the office doing some much-needed overtime (needed by both my bank-account and the company) and I have a little break. Thought I'd rectify the oversight. I did find quite the satisfying 1+ minute girl fight though. These two are really going at it. It's more than just hair pulling. These bitches are punching each other in the face and pinning the other to the ground. Sadly, no tops were ripped off. Oh well, you can't always get everything in one of these.

Girl Fight Fridays - Where's my Strap-on?

That's pretty much the only thing this girl fight is missing. Come on ladies, who goes on Spring Break without packing their strap-on dildo? You never know when you're going to end up in a fake mud-wrestling match, perched over another bikini'd chick, dry humping her while you're trying to choke her. Right around that time, a bolted on phallus would have come in handy. Just my own personal opinion though. I mean, a man can dream right?

Girl Fight Fridays - Backyard Bumpin'

It seems that, every time you get a bunch of white people in a backyard, something like this happens. What the fuck white people? Can't you all enjoy your Pabst Blue Ribbon and Coors Lights and not get your bitches into fights? Not that I want it to stop. Otherwise, what would I post on Fridays? This fight is pretty good . . . if you can see through some of the pixelated video. I think I saw some upper cuts in there. Definitely saw some hair pulling, which is the standard for girl fights. So, yeah . . . enjoy the fight.

Girl Fight Fridays - Better Late than Never

It's Sunday, I know. And I know how to use a calendar. But, a co-worker asked me to pick up her shift today because she was going on vacation, so I started my weekend early which is why I didn't post this until today. Now that I've made the appropriate excuses, enjoy this short fight. Despite being short, it does kick some major ass. And not just because the asses involved are, indeed, major in size . . . but because of the sheer fierceness that these two behemoths possess.

Ultimate Food Fighters - Matt & Kim "Yeah Yeah"

I just recently heard this song on MP3 as I was pirating around the internet, trolling for new talent to keep my brain engaged while I answer e-mail from retarded customers. So, naturally, when I came across the video for it, I thought . . . "cool, I love this song". While it might not be as well choreographed as that OK Go video from a couple of months, this one feels a little more on the fun side. I mean, where do you have a band get pelted with various food items for half of the video, only to follow that up with them getting body slammed by people in food costumes. I specially liked it when the chick gets body-checked by the giant banana . . . because it reminds me of how my giant banana body-checks my wife every night. Hey, I can't help it. It just flops over and smacks her all over the place. That's not spousal abuse . . . it's love baby.

Girl Fight Fridays - Turkey-Free Edition

I was, actually, looking for chick fights that were happening around a Thanksgiving dinner, or maybe involved some turkey legs being used as weapons. But, alas, that was not to be. Instead, I found this little fight which starts off with a little spitting and beer dousing, and escalates to some pushing and pulling of hair. The one sweet hit that ends the fight, of course, doesn't happen until the end, but it does make up for the couple of minutes when the two chicks just tug at each other's upper garments. I think the one that got punched might have actually been crying.

Girl Fight Friday - Sidewalk Stomp

Ah, it's Friday again, and what better way to kick off the weekend than seeing a couple of bitches fighting on the street. I defy you to find a better way actually. Go on, find it. You know you can't, huh. So just sit down, watch the fight, and cry yourself to sleep tonight . . . knowing that someone on the internets just punked your ass into submission.