The Sorcerer's Apprentice Trailer

Since magic is all the rage these days, Disney is dipping into the dark arts and pulling "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" out of it's hat. Directed by Jon Turtletaub (who might or might not be turtle'y enough for your turtle club) and starring Nicolas Cage, Jay Baruchel, and Alfred Molina, it doesn't look like it has much in common with the "Fantasia" short that might have inspired it, but it still looks decent enough to watch thanks to super-producer Jerry Bruckheimer throwing tons of money at this project. The trailer looks pretty slick and, despite the presence of Nick Cage, pretty darn good. Check out the trailer in YouTube format, or, for the more discerning trailer watcher, click on this link to take you to the Apple page for all sorts of Quicktime options. This movie comes out in 2010.

Full Length Up Trailer

I'm of the opinion that anything Pixar puts out is light years ahead of what any other animation studio, whether traditional or CG, is releasing to the movie-watching masses. Their newest offering, "Up", seems to be perpetuating that trend. And, from the looks of it, you'll even get to see it in 3-D when it's released later this year. Check out the non 3-D trailer now, and get the kids ready to go see this. You know you'll get dragged to this, but not as unwillingly as most of the time.

Race to Witch Mountain Trailer

'Race to Witch Mountain' Teaser Trailer @ Yahoo! Video

"Escape to Witch Mountain" was one of my favorite movies of all time. I haven't seen it in forever, so I'm a little fuzzy on the details of what happens in that movie. I do remember it being less explode'y back then. I guess that's what remakes/reboots are all about. Disney also decided to change the name of the movie to "Race to Witch Mountain", they added alien bounty hunters and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (and Carla Gugino, check her out in "Sin City"), so I guess that makes it its own movie. The only reason I'm posting this is a little bit of nostalgia, and the fact that this movie doesn't look like total ass. The movie comes out March 2009. Take the kids if you have any.

Box Office Report - Da Booty

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - The third PotC movie makes a big splash on the big screen as it takes the top spot for the second time in a row, despite a meteoric drop in proceeds. Still, number one is number one right? Those guys at Disney must be shitting bricks made out of solid gold. But, is the movie any good? I don't know. I refuse to go watch this. Fuck-a-pirates.

Knocked Up - This movie did incredibly well this past weekend during it's opening run, making just under 30 million and nabbing the highest per-screen average of any other movie this past weekend. This bodes well for more Judd Apatow helmed movies, which is good. I'm planning on catching this movie tomorrow. Don't spoil it for me.

Shrek the Third - The green ogre keeps making money for Dreamworks, as the movie crosses the quarter of a billion dollar mark this past weekend. I don't know why parents keep taking their kids to see this movie? It looks terrible. Just how many fart jokes are you willing to subject your progeny to?

Mr. Brooks - This movie I had seen trailers for but it did not really interest me much. Kevin Costner is not a big draw for me. But at least he's not directing this one. Otherwise, it'd be 4+ hours long and instead of being a killer, he'd be an American Indian from the future who is trying to stay afloat in an ocean world . . . while pretending to not be a killer.

Spider-Man 3 - It's the weekend of trilogies. Three out of the top 5 are all #3 movies. This one, the first third picture in a series that I saw, thoroughly disappointed me. I don't care that the CG was some of the best I've seen ever in the Spider-Man franchise. I don't care that it ties up loose ends. It just feels like too much movie which spends its time either showing someone crying or meandering in a direction-less plot that feels like a Kevin Costner directed movie.

Box Office Report - Easter Suck-day

Blades Of Glory - For the second time in a row, the Will Ferrell/That guy from "Napoleon Dynamite" ice-skating movie takes the top spot. While there are funny people involved, it's not something that appeals to me. But, nevermind what I think America. Go watch this while other movies that deserve this spot flounder and end up making it harder for true quality films to be released instead of cookie-cutter crap like this.

Meet the Robinsons - Speaking of cookie-cutter crap . . . what's the recipe for semi-box office success these days? Oh yeah, sub-par CG-animated pieces of shit like this movie. Has Disney officially killed it's hand-drawn animation studio? All that talent that brought us such classic animated films like "The Jungle Book" and "Bambi" has turned into a Pixar knock-off. Why did Disney even buy Pixar? They should just let them handle the CG, and they should return to what made Disney . . . well, Disney.

Are We Done Yet - This is the most surprising debut of the weekend. What the fuck kind of world is it that we're living in when the sequel to a crappy Ice Cube movies opens with 15 million dollars. Are pigs flying? I looked outside my window right now and Los Angeles hasn't frozen over. So why people . . . why did you all collectively decide to go watch this instead of the next movie on the list.

Grindhouse - I made it a point to go watch this over the weekend. Sunday at 4:30 pm, in La Crescenta's UA theater ('cause I had a gift card), the wife and I went to go watch this. There were probably 20 other people in the theater that could easily seat over 400. All film geniuses like us. And then, for the next 3+ hours we were in cinematic bliss. Everything from "Planet Terror"s stylized and splashy gore to "Death Proof"s energetic and raw car chases/crashes was perfect. Even Tarantino's often wordy written word came through just right. And, both films had great "get the fuck out!" moments. I don't want to spoil anything for you, since, taking a look at their 11 million dollar opening weekend, you probably didn't watch it. Shame on you. It is your responsibility to watch "Grindhouse". Otherwise, it's just un-American.

The Reaping - Now this is more like it. Crappy theological-themed movies of the month always go after the good stuff. Not that I have any ill-will towards this. As far as movies dealing with supernatural biblical mumbo-jumbo, this looks way better than that Exorcist prequel that came out a couple of years ago (pick which version, because there were 2). But, Hillary Swank kind of kills it for me. Now, put Angela Lansbury in that role and she would definitely get to the bottom of it. In one hour. Just in time for my early bird senior citizen dinner. I like to digest while I watch my "Matlock".

Butt Pirates of the Caribbean

Oh, the internets is the place to go when you want your latest Disney money-maker turned into something dirty and depraved. Case in point, these pictures of Sinful Comic's latest release which adapts last summer's blockbuster event, "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Curse" into something a little less family friendly. Here, you have Keira Knightly, Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom immortalized in comic book form getting it on menage-a-trois style. Certainly something that did not appear in the cut of the movie that Disney released. So, where do you go to satiate your want for dirty pictures of stars that did not actually happen outside of a comic book panel . . . well, check out Fleshbot for more pictures and of course, feel free to head out to Sinful Comic's website for more most definately not approved images. In case you hadn't already realized, this is NSFW.