Opening Weekend Moving Pictures for Make Benefit of Glorious Eyes of America

Borat - Yeah, that little post title is my homage if you will to the comic genius that spills forth from Sacha Baron Cohen's head. I don't think I've wanted to go watch a movie more on opening weekend than this one right here. I am a fan of "Da Ali G Show" on HBO, which keeps my cable bill nice and fat every month, and his Borat character is some of the best stuff that is on that show. But, will it appeal to America? Sure, if we can laugh at ourselves. My personal prediction for this movie is that it will come in 2nd at the box office. Why? Well . . . you can't beat the family movie dollar business that the next movie on the list is going to make.

Flushed Away - No, this is not a CGI adventure tale of what happens to the stuff that comes out of my rectum every other day (or so . . . sometimes twice on weekend days). And rightly so, I don't think the American public would go for such a daring movie concept. No, this "Flushed Away" is family-friendly (which equals cash money) and is brought to you by Dreamworks (makers of Shrek . . . ugh) and Aardman animation (makers of Wallace and Gromit . . . yay!). The combined forces of these two studios should push out any competition by the wayside. It is pretty cool to see Aardman dipping into the CGI pool. Previously, they've been known for their great claymation work . . . but sadly, their whole studio went up in flames after the release of the last Wallace and Gromit movie . . . so this may be a new direction in animation that they might intend on keeping.

The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause - If you go watch this third installment in "The Santa Clause" trilogy . . . you're going to need an escape clause for life. You really don't deserve to live if you take your kids to this. Why? It's like child abuse. Seriously. And didn't Tim Allen just make a Christmas movie last year as well? Is that all he does now? I'd rather him do nothing, but at the rate that I'm getting things that I want . . . that should happen just around 15 minutes from never.

This week in selected theaters . . .

Ahh, fuck the indies. Nobody cares about your Sundance wins or Cannes Palm D'Or douchebaggery award. God, your pretentiousness just pisses me off indies. Here's a list . . . but I'm not even given you synopsi.

Volver

Yeah, one entry in the indie list. Goddamn slackers. They're all probably at a Starbucks moping about their wireless connection not downloading some emo MP3's fast enough.