Opening Weekend Moving Pictures

Wide Releases

The Grudge 2 - I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that the Japanese director bringing us this sequel is just remaking the sequel of the original "Grudge" movie, and since he had already redone the first one, this makes 4 "Grudge" movies for him. Maybe he's got himself a personal grudge with originality. So, what's new in this one? Not much. Vengeful spirits do what they do best. Scare people shitless in a series of PG-13 scares.

Man of the Year - I don't get Robin Williams when he's trying to be funny. In fact, I don't get people who think Robin Williams has been funny, at all, in the last 15-20 years. Sure, he was pretty amusing when he first hit the comedy scene . . . but now? Please, someone slip him some Riddilin (sp?). This movie is billed as a bit of a comedy about a talk-show host that somehow wins a presidential election. So, it's basically a "Twilight Zone" episode without the smarts. I guess that would make it an "Outer Limits" episode.

The Marine - WWE must have made some money with their last cinematic outing, because here's another one, staring John Cena and he plays a . . . marine. The depth of this movie rivals the Marianna's Trench. Aslo starring is the hot chick from "Nip/Tuck" whose name sounds a lot like that one "American Idol" contestant. Also in this movie is the model T1000 terminator . . . who's looking a little hagard these days. Explosions, car chases and gun fights also star in this movie.

One Night With the King - What? They made a movie about me? Oh, wait, this one's about the king of Persia, Xerxes. Pfft. A movie about one night with me would be much more exciting. You could see the varied cool things that I do. Everything from snacking . . . to sitting on my couch watching TiVo'd programming . . . to playing X BOX 360. I know, you want to pay me 10 bucks already.

Limited Releases - You know, fuck that indie horseshit. There's like 10 of them coming out this weekend, and I don't have the energy to copy/paste all of their little synopsi. So, the only two you need to know about are below.

Infamous - Yeah, it's another Truman Capote movie . . . but this one is better than the last. It's one year too late and has Sandra Bullock in it . . . but that's only two strikes. On the third pitch, this movie hits it out of the park with a better story than "Capote" had and an even more flamboyant sounding Capote character.

Tideland - Terry Gilliam has made some great movies. Mostly starring midgets and his old Monty Python friends. The last one he made was a so-so kinda boring movie. That whole "Brothers Grimm" looked like someone was trying to make a Gilliam movie. I hope that this new one gets him back on form, and gets him enough money to finally finish up that Don Quixote movie he had Johnny Depp starring in.