Las Vegas Confidential

1:26 AM, 10/21/06

So . . . no post about the latest movies opening today (or actually, yesterday, since today is tomorrow. Wrap your head around that doozy) because I'm in Las Vegas right now. And yes, like most other schmucks out there, I'm already down 100 bucks. But I've got a mighty buzz going.

Nickel slots didn't pan out for me, but my wife only lost 20 some bucks, and we got some 3 dollar beers at a little bar at the Rio. Right now, we're about ready to do what people in Sin City do. I'll keep this post updated throughout the weekend. Lates bitches.

12:05 PM, 10/21/06

Just got out of the Rio buffet. The Platinum one, not the one that the regular riff raff go to. 'Cause that's how I roll, you naw'm'sayin'. And, for the most part, it was pretty much run of the mill buffet food. Sure, there was a lot of it, but I feel I could have eaten the same amount and had the same quality at . . . I don't know, a Denny's? And for half the price?

I did get a snazzy shirt celebrating the event that we are attending. It's got a picture of my cousin and his soon to be wife, with the slogan right over it that reads "From Nitros to Nuptials". It's a little on the gh3y side, but at least mine was white. They had to wear baby blue versions of what the rest of the people attending this thing got.

Most of them are going to get some special treatment at the spa here at the casino. Not sure if "happy endings" are a part of it, but Heather and I are headed out to the Monte Carlo to check out some shark tank. And then to the MGM Grand to check out lions. Heather loves those animals, so it's more for her. But I do delight in seeing her have fun.

So, off we go. We have a couple of hours to kill before we meet up with the rest of the group. After that, it's more gambling, and then we're going to a club called "The Voodoo Lounge" on top of the casino. It's on the 54th floor . . . and it's going to get nipply up there.

3:21 PM, 10/21/06

We're back from our excursion to the Mandalay Bay and the MGM Grand. We first hit up the Mandalay Bay casino, because we really wanted to check out the Shark Reef attraction they had. One of the people we are hanging out with this weekend told us that it would be free, so we were pretty friggin' excited about it. We get there, and find out that it's actually $15.95/person. Being that we're not cash money millionaires (yet), we decided not to check it out but rather test our luck at gambling again.

Well, the Mandalay Bay sucks. I was up 3 bucks, but then I ended up losing 5 cents. Heather on the other hand, is down $20 bucks. So we kind of leave the place, tails between our legs, and scampered off towards the MGM Grand in search of lions. We parked at the Tropicana, were I noticed that they had $5 blackjack tables. So I thought, why not.

I was again, down about 35 bucks when my luck turned and I started getting double downs going my way and a couple of 21's. Then Heather rolled around, and instantly I get a 12. Not good. She's my blackjack kryptonite. Which is fine, because I seem to her slot-cooler (and yes, that does sound kind of dirty). She left though, sensing her bad luck coming over me, and I got a 21 right after. I decided not to temp my luck too much there, and left the table 20 dollars richer (or 80 bucks down if you count last night's losses).

We finally made it to the MGM and did get to spend some up close (with a glass wall between us) time with some lions. We even got to check out some lion cubs. They were, adorable. But, the casino wanted 200 bucks for lion cub interaction. You'd think that you'd get like 30 minutes to an hour with the cubs. You'd be wrong. That's 200 bucks for 5 minutes.

We drove back to the Rio, ate a little bit in the room (not that kind of eating . . but maybe later), and now are headed to the pool area to hang out with our friends and family.

9:24 AM, 10/23/06

I know what you must have been wondering. Jaime hit the Megabucks and is a millionaire. That's why he didn't continue the blog post. Well . . . not so much. Vegas cleaned me out. I'm going to be eating Maruchan cup of noodles for the rest of the week. The reason I didn't continue posting was just 'cause my brother had paid for 1 day's worth of internet access ($12.95!!) and he didn't want to spend another 13 bucks on that for Sunday.

No biggie really. We went to the Voodoo Lounge Saturday night for what was supposed to be a great dinner and clubbing experience. The dinner itself was 3 hours. The service was terrible. The appetizers were blah, the salads were competent, the rib eye steak was great, but by the time the desserts (delicious btw) came around, we were all too full to even look at them.

So, after that, we went up to the 51st floor for the the whole dancing portion of the night. I don't dance, but I did shake my thang up there for 20 minutes or so. Then, we needed to find a place to sit, because Heather was wearing some killer high heeled shoes. By killer, I mean they were extremely uncomfortable. Unfortunately, all the lounge areas were cordoned off. She darted under one of the cordons and sat down. I looked at the people who "owned" the area for the night and I asked if it was ok for her to sit down for a little bit. The guy gave me an "I don't know, but I think you better get her the hell out of our VIP area quick" look.

This was a bit dick-ish of them, but I can understand (but only marginally) why they would take that stance. But Heather does not see things the way I see when she's had a drink or two. She's all about loving the world and getting along with everyone, and she did try to get along with these a-holes. She tried to be amicable with them, and they even said "Oh, sure, just don't try to drink our booze" but, 5 minutes later, we had a burly security guy escort us out of their super special cordoned off area.

I would have been ok with this, but Heather is part Irish, so once her mellow is killed by this, she's up for a fist fight. She's screaming at them to fuck off, and almost starting shit with the security guard, so I have to re-direct her towards the indoors area, and we finally find a place for her to sit. By now, we're not feeling great about this club, and we're tired, so we head back to our room for the night. She's still pretty pissed about the whole deal, and I'm trying to calm her down.

We wake up Sunday morning, exhausted, and start packing so we can get the hell out of Vegas. The town has not treated us very nicely, and even though we didn't have to pay for the room at the Rio, we are down $300+ bucks. We limp down the highway to Primm, were we test our luck at some quarter machines. Twenty bucks later, we're on the road again.

Mostly uneventful driving. Saw some roadkill. Traveled at speeds ranging from 5 mph to 100 mph. The 5 mph portion of our trip happened around Victorville, where a yellow Nissan 350z somehow managed to get demolished. I really hope that they had a good car insurance carrier. We got home, finally, 4 1/2 hours after leaving Vegas, and crashed on our couch, catching up on missed television.