Box Office Report Gets Punk'd

Wow, what a weekend. I go on vacation and this happens. Two movies starring Ashton Kutcher dominating the top ten list. Maybe he sprinkled some of that Kabbalah holy water on something and wished really hard . . . or Demi Moore has some pull on who goes to which movies. In any case, this is unprecendented . . . and I hope it never happens again. Movie #3 on this list is "Jackass: Number Two", which did some nice work in keeping the John "Napoloen Dynamite" Heder crapfest "School for Scoundrels" from making it to the top 3. Good job Knoxville. Now, drop off a bag of burning poop over at Ashton & Demi's mansion.

Fifth in line on the list is Jet Li's "Fearless", which still begs the question. Does he own it? Or is he the one who is fearless. I'm afraid . . . the world will never know. The Rock's "Gridiron Gang" (he IS a Gridiron Gang) tackles some unsuspecting viewers and shakes them down for their cash without getting set to juvie. "The Illusionist" keeps making small amounts of money disappear from the ATM cards of the American populace. I haven't watched this yet, but it looks mildly entertaining. It would be wildly entertaining if Jessica Biel were to get all of her Victorian-era garb disappeared . . . but that's just a movie that plays in my head.

"Flyboys" is starting to sputter, and may need to ditch in a field or the ocean, exploding Zeppelins be damned! "The Black Dahlia" keeps getting sliced in cineplexes, but is not garnering the attention that it should. You know what it needs? Ashton Kutcher . . . playing the Black Dahlia role! "Little Miss Sunshine" rounds out the top 10, proving that one can make a movie for little, and have it gross a lot. Go indie film-makers. Sell out!

Numbers below. Why? Because everyone loves numbers.

1. Open Season - $23,000,000
2. The Guardian - $17,667,000
3. Jackass: Number Two - $14,010,000; $51,452,000
4. School for Scoundrels - $9,109,000
5. Jet Li's Fearless - $4,702,000; $17,785,000
6. Gridiron Gang - $4,500,000; $33,177,000
7. The Illusionist - $2,845,000; $31,488,000
8. Flyboys - $2,320,000; $9,915,000
9. The Black Dahlia - $2,069,000; $20,683,000
10.Little Miss Sunshine - $2,020,000; $53,162,000