Ryan Seacrest High-Five's a Blind Guy

I guess "American Idol" is back with a new season. I don't watch the show, so I didn't actually see this happen. I actually heard about this on the radio on my way to work a couple of mornings ago. But, here he is, trying to congratulate a blind contestant with a high-five he clearly didn't see coming. . . . Get it? 'Cause he's blind. I would call Ryan Seacrest a giant douchebag for doing this, but he's tiny. Like a bleached (and subsequently spray-tanned) smurf in metro-sexual clothing.

Adrian Grenier is Generous

I pretty much lost much of my interest in HBO's "Entourage" after last season. That show's all about being and embracing Hollywood douchebagery. So, it doesn't surprise me when I see this video of Adrian Grenier generously giving a homeless street musician a whole quarter and the peace sign. He then shortly offers the cameraman a thousand dollars to buy the tape off of him. But, he doesn't have his wallet. Seriously Grenier? A quarter? You should have told the homeless guy not to spend it all at once.

SPAM of the Month

I don't check my bloggedjaime@gmail.com account too much, because, on the rare occassion that I get fanmail, it always goes to my other account. Which is fine. I don't care. This inbox has become a spam-repository, which can yield some really funny results from time to time. Take this e-mail for example.

Do You Want to Possess the Whole World?

Would you like to have scars after penis enlargement surgery? If you not, you should consider trying Penis Enlarge Patch. Penis Enlarge Patch will make you dick so large you will be able to park a car on it.

First of all, why would having a big penis give you the world. Lord knows I don't own anything sizeable (apart from my car . . . in 4 years) and I can barely hold my junk in my jeans. And who would actually park a car on their Jaime-like proportioned penis? I don't care how big a penis is. You just don't park cars on that stuff. Anyway, this is the "SPAM of the Month". Check back in December for (possibly) a Christmas-themed spam e-mail that I am hoping involves videos of elves gangbanging reindeer while Santa Claus practices his space-docking techniques with Mrs. Claus.

This Message Endorsed by George W. Bush

Hmm . . . there's something off about this particular 12 second clip of our President mangling a civil rights legend's name. I mean, this ain't no "nucular" pronounciation slip up. He actually calls Dr. Martin Luther King "Dr. Meth King". Not just any kind of of King. A Meth King. Well, he was from the south . . . but I'm not sure he spent a whole lot of money on diet pills and cough/cold medicine he could cook up into some tasty, heart-beat raising methampetamines.

Oh wait, meth is not good. It's actually terrible. Fucking G-Dub. Douchebag.

Tina Fey Tells it Like it is

Here's a little excerpt (in transcript form) from an interview that happened on Howard Stern's Sirius (thanks Dr. Blogstein) sattelite radio show. It's pretty fucking great and insightful as to how the rest of celebrity-dom views Paris Hilton.

Howard Stern: What is Paris Hilton like?

Tina Fey: She's a piece of shit. The people at SNL were like maybe she'll be fun, maybe she won't take herself so seriously. She takes herself so seriously! She's unbelievably dumb and so proud of how dumb she is. She looks like a tranny up close.

Howard Stern: Was she bad on SNL, was she hard to deal with?

Tina Fey: She was awful. People never come in and say "I'm not doing that." So, this guy Jim Downey wrote a really really funny sketch, it was supposed to be Lorne Michaels just finding out that she had a sex tape and telling her she couldn't host the show because SNL has standards... So she was like "I'm not doing it!" and refused to come out of her dressing room. Also, you would walk down the hall and find what just looked like nasty wads of Barbie hair on the stairs... Her hair is like a Fraggle.

Howard Stern: Did she give you ideas for sketches?

Tina Fey: Yeah, she wanted to make fun of all the girls she hates. She was like "I want to play Jessica Simpson, I hate her." She would come in the room and say "you should do a show about Jessica Simpson because she's fat."

Howard Stern: What was the bet you guys had going about her?

Tina Fey: The cast had a bet if she would ask anyone on the cast anything about themselves, you know like how are you? where are you from? anything. I think Seth Meyers won because at one point, she asked him if Maya Rudolf was Italian.

So, Paris Hilton is pretty much hard to work with, has the sense of humor of a freshly gutted fish (and probably smells like it between the legs as well) and has crackhead hair that falls out in clumps. I knew there was a reason I liked Tina Fey.

Phishing Perpetuating

Here's the latest phishing attempt I have received, through Careerbuilder mind you.

Job offer
Dear Jaime
We have found your resume at careerbuilder.com.

We would like to suggest you a position of a Transfer Manager in our company.The task of the Transfer Manager is to process payments between our clients and our company via bank checks.
The job is related to remote Internet operations.
Every payment order will be accompanied with detailed instructions. It's a commission based position. We guarantee that you get 10% of each processed payment.

General requirements:
- Ability to create good administrative reporting;
- Prior customer service experience is a good benefit, but not a must;
- Willingness to work at home and take the responsibility to set up and achieve goals;
- Honesty, responsibility and promptness in operations;
- Effective interaction with customers;
- Familiarity to online work, Internet and e-mail skills;
- 3-5 hours per week

Salary: $600-$1200 per week

This job will allow you to:
- Efficiently work at home;
- Get additional extra time;
- Achieve financial independence without having tofollow the standard working day schedule (only 1-3 hours per day);
- Develop high self-respect and esteem.
- Become able to share time and money with others less fortunate than you;

Current Vacancies: 5

If you are interested in working with us, or if you need more information, you can contact me directly at my personal email address.

I'll need your full name, telephone number and mail address so I can send you the contract and other paperwork necessary to get started. I'm looking forward to hearing from you soon.
If you agree with our conditions - feel free to sign the contract, send it to me and get ready to start!


If you want visit our website click here

Too good to be true? Yes, actually, I had a run in with this particular type of "work at home" scam a couple of years ago, and actually fell for it. It wasn't really detrimental to me, and it cost me 5 bucks and a lesson well learned. Basically, what they want some sucker to do is deposit a fraudulent check into their checking account. It will take 5 days or so to clear, and then you need to remove the amount (minus your "commission") and send it to them via FedEx.

I should have known better, but I was naive back in the day. This time around, I'm a little more prepared for this.