Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl Trailer = WTF!?

"Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl" is a movie. I can say that for sure. But why the Japanese decided to make this is beyond my realm of comprehension. It looks bug-nuts insane. It's all blood spray and terrible acting from what I can gleam from the trailer. But, maybe that's why I want to watch it now. In any case, peep out the trailer. And get some handy wipes ready to wipe off the excess blood from your computer screens. It's that bloody.

Japanese Spider-man

While I might have just discovered the utter greatness that is "Japanese Spider-man", it looks like it's been out in Japan for quite some time. I'm pretty sure this is the origin episode, but it's hands-down entertainment that is so bad it transcends terrible and loops its way back to greatness. Superbly more entertaining than "Spider-man 3" if you ask me. But then again, it's hard to compete against the amalgamation of Spider-man, Power Rangers, Speed Racer, the 70's and crazy freaky-deaky over expressive Japanese acting. Check out the video, and go find yourself some more episodes on the interwebs.

Presidential Action Figures for Presidents Day

Thought I'd celebrate Presidents Day with a little bit of awesomeness from the Land of the Rising Sun, Japan. I guess Barack Obama keeps inspiring change where ever he is heard. He's inspired the Japanese to change the way they see action figures. Because, there he is, immortalized in plastic. And below, things get a bit crazier. You can find more pictures at the following website. I totally want one. But, I don't read Japanese (this is what happens when you drop out of your Japanese class in community college). So, if someone can find out how much and how I can buy one of these, please leave a instructions in the comments section. For now, just check out these couple of action'y poses that Obama is in.



The Force is strong with this one.

The Japanese Louis Armstrong

I somehow need to get a cable channel where they show nothing but Japanese game shows. I don't even know what kind of competition this is . . . but if it involves a dude in black face, making faces that I could only correlate to a bad case of constipation, I want to watch it. Sure, this could be seen as borderline racist, but remember, if you hate this Japanese dude for impersonating a black man, then you're kind of hating Asians, and that would complete the racism cycle. So, instead of being part of the problem, just laugh, move on, and be part of the solution.

I should be an inspirational speaker.

Robo-Poster #3 - Tokyo Gore Police Trailer

Well, this one's a no-brainer. The insanity of Japanese cinema is not often matched by it's Western counterparts. "Tokyo Gore Police" seems to be a shining example of that. I know it has subtitles, but get over it. Reading is fundamental. Plus, from the trailer, the gore effects look top-notch. I don't think I've ever seen that much blood spray in a trailer . . . ever. I don't even know if this movie has a coherent plot. Something about engineers that can graft weapons to open wounds and a lady cop that is hell bent on getting rid of them. Why not? But, again, what do I know. I'm just a robot. Jaime will be back from vacation tomorrow.

Olivia Munn Bikini Pictures

I know it's been a little light around here as far as posting goes this month. Hopefully, these Olivia Munn bikini pictures will make up for my lack of content this month. These pictures were taken in Japan, which means Olivia and the rest of the AOTS crew are out filming some sort of Japanese themed special. Maybe there's some sort of convention out there. They're always going to Japan. How come I never get to go to Japan? I want to buy used panties from a vending machine too! Oh well, here's another picture.

Mariah Carey - Baseball Superstar

I don't know why Mariah Carey is throwing the opening pitch for some baseball game in Japan . . . but apparently, her arm needs a little work. That is some fantastic failure of a pitch. Seriously. I'm wondering if the Japanese subjected her to bucket-loads of bukkake after she botched up this extremely easy task.

It Came From Japan! - Tenga Cup

The Japanese are rapidly becoming my favorite people . . . ever! They've given me anime, weird fetish videos and now . . . the Tenga Vagina in a cup contraption. Yes, it's an intricate sex toy that is supposed to mimic vaginas (kind of like a higher-tech "Fleshlight") and, as a bonus, I think fellatio as well. That's cocksucking to the laymen out there. In case it's hard to read the caption on the picture above, here it is:

Special valves create a virtual vacuum inside the cup, to deliver an amazing sucking sensation.And, the unique pinched-in shape helps to achieve an unparalleled tightness.These advanced features combine with an arousing “slurping” sound and vibration to give you the feeling that you’re enjoying a real deep throat experience.

This particular model pictured in this post is the "Deep Throat" cup, but you can check out all of the other cup models at the Tenga Website. I'm not sure if the actual product is ready for sale right now, but I'm sure you perverts can reserve a unit or two in advance. One more picture, for the spec-geeks out there. The inner workings of the cup are detailed below.

Opening Weekend Movies - 1/04/2008

One Missed Call - I should really re-title this post "Opening Weekend Movie", because "One Missed Call" is really the only brand new movie to open wide this weekend. Sure, "Juno" is finally in wide release, but that movie's been around for at least a month. And you still haven't watched it yet? For shame. As for this movie . . . it's one of those Japanese horror film re-makes that's PG-13 so it can scare the whole family. Nothing really notable other than it marks the return of Shannyn Sossamon to the big screen. I haven't seen her around in too much, and she's a super-hottie that should be getting more work. She's pretty much one of the few reasons I own "A Knight's Tale".

And just because nothing else is happening in this post, here's the trailer for "One Missed Call". Don't let the mouth-eye people get you!

The Machine Girl = Holy Shit!

Holy shit! That's pretty much all I can muster to describe this movie. It's intense. I want to see this. I don't care if it's on DVD or in the theaters. The Japanese are fucking crazy. Check out the unrated, not-safe-for-work trailer above, and crap your pants in anticipation.

Hayden Panettiere - Bikini Activist

Now this, is a little more like it. Someone that the world might actually care for, doing some good for a change. Hayden Panettiere wants to save the whales and dolphins in Japan. So, what's the best way to do that? Well, don a bikini to stop the Japanese fishermen from slaughtering the endangered animals of course. It would work for me. I mean, if I were out there, and the possibility of oggling the "Heroes" star came up, in a skimpy two-piece bathing suit, I'd totally forget about fishing. What's fishing anyway? Try to read the actual news story about this while you look at the pictures. Come on, I dare you.

Hayden Panettiere, star of TVs hit series Heroes, paddled out on behalf of Save The Whales Again! www.savethewhalesagain.com. She expressed that she felt the spirit of the dolphins who had been driven into the killing cove over the last 400 years.

We had a moment of silence for all the dolphins that had been killed here, said Panettiere, who uses her celebrity to protect dolphins and whales. It was highly emotional. I wished for peace and for no more pain at this beautiful yet tragic cove.

The Taiji fishermen, who defend the kills as part of their traditional fishing culture, had planned to stop the ceremony through force and police arrest. The possibility of a locally led resistance was averted by a dramatic last-minute turnaround. Rastovich was able to broker a meeting with area locals less than 12 hours before the paddle-out crew arrived unannounced at the killing cove.

So, to sum this up . . . The "killing cove" = bad. And I'm behind any cause that features a bikini-clad Hayden Panettiere. I actually think that bikini-clad Hayden Panettiere should run for President in the 2008 elections. It's just too bad that she doesn't meet the age requirements.



Maybe she could run for Mayor of In-my-pants-ville. Just a thought.

Bukkake is Refreshing?

You should really look up "Bukkake" on the good ol' Google if this video somehow confuses you. If you are proficient in perversion, this term should be something that you're familiar with as it is one of the dirtiest things our friends from the Land of the Rising Sun have provided the world of pornography. This video not only makes fun of that, but also of Japanese advertisements and just how weird they are in general. I guess I'd be this weird if I had access to used schoolgirl underpants vending machines.