Opening Weekend Movies - 7/13/07

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - More like "Harry Potter and the Impossibly long Title for a Movie". Why don't they just call it "Harry Potter 5", or use the Roman numeral "V"? It worked wonders for that one "Rocky" movie. But, the movie is still opening this weekend with that title, and of course, everyone is going to go watch it. I'm not. I don't think I've ever watched a single Harry Potter movie straight through. I always catch bits and pieces of them. And no, you fucking perverts, not the "good parts" featuring Hermione Granger in semi-sexy situations. You need help by the way.

Captivity - This movie's advertising campaign, featuring Elisha Cuthbert (who also stars in the movie . . . duh), came under fire some months ago because it portrayed the young actress in the act of dying in several situations. I thought it was genius. But, you know America. But, the movie is coming out, and aside from that interesting side note in advertising history, it doesn't look all that amazing. Just your run-of-the-mill "killer keeping a couple of people chained in his basement while he tortures them and eventually kills them . . . or not?" type of movie.