I could be writing about Lindsay Lohan being arrested for chasing her assistant's mother in her car, while drunk, and with cocaine in her pants pockets, but then I saw this other pants-related picture, and my priorities shifted. I mean, that's a crazy story, but I'm already forgetting all about it when looking at these pictures of Natalie Portman picking at her butt. It looks like those pants gave her a bit of a wedgie, and it also looks like she's not wearing underwear. I'll let that settle for a little bit . . . mmmm . . . . Oh, and in other Portman-related news, don't talk about her nude scenes in "Goya's Ghost", her upcoming movie.
Dudes who were bummed that Natalie Portman didn't take it all off during her pole dance in "Closer" can look forward to "Goya's Ghost," in which she plays a victim of the Spanish Inquisition. "There's a long shot of a nude woman," she tells Movies.com's Jeanne Wolf. But, sadly, she adds, "It's not me. ... You do see some parts of me unclothed, but if they end up on Web sites making it look like I'm nude, I'm going to be really, really angry." And nothing is hotter than an angry Natalie.The only thing hotter than an angry Natalie Portman . . . is an ass-picking Natalie Portman. Just imagine if she were pissed off while she was doing that. I'd be painting my laptop white.
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