Too Much Information

It is in my opinion that my wife is beautiful and everything she does is either adorable or cute. Or sexy. Trust me, my views on my wife are 100% positive. I love her dearly and would never trade her in for anything in the world.

So, now that I prefaced this post with that disclaimer, we're going to get to the issue at hand. Last night, while watching television, she said something that really shocked me. Shocked me more than when I found out at work I'd be now paying $150+ bucks/month for health insurance as opposed to $0. But that's a different story. We were sitting there, enjoying whatever televised show we were watching and she let's this out.

"Oh man, I can smell my period. I don't feel fresh"

I turn to her, wide-eyed, and say "I think that's the most disgusting thing you have ever said to me". We both laughed at that, but for the next couple of hours, I was in a bit of a fog. How could my wife, beautiful creature that she is, say something that would put me off so much.

Now, granted, the woman is a saint when it comes to my particular man smells. She has put up with farts, ball-sweat stench, and an accumulation of boogers on the tub drain. All, without threatening me with a quick divorce. Yes, men are naturally disgusting. I have gotten over the whole period-smell though. I personally, never caught a whiff of it. She took a bath shortly thereafter and came out smelling like something I can't describe due to the lack of estrogen in my system.

But honey, please, don't shatter my view of you with another one of those declarations of un-freshness. It's just too much information. Kinda like discovering that the mall Santa Claus is not actually the real one, but rather a pedophile that somehow slipped through the system and now gets to sit little boys and girls on his crusty and stained lap.