Forbes magazine posted their list of "Richest Women" of 2006. Here's the top 10.
1. Oprah Winfrey: Net Worth (in $ millions): 1,500
2. J.K. Rowling: 1,000
3. Martha Stewart: 638
4. Madonna: 325
5. Celine Dion: 250
6. Mariah Carey: 225
7. Janet Jackson: 150
8. Julia Roberts: 140
9. Jennifer Lopez: 110
10. Jennifer Aniston: 110
Yea, Oprah Winfrey is worth 1.5 Billion dollars. Closely followed by (if you can consider a paltry 500 million "close") Harry Potter scribe J.K. Rowling. That pact with the devil's working out for you, huh. Martha Stewart comes in a distant 3rd, which goes to show you . . . even an ex-con can make good in America. If they're white. And a woman. And were rich before they went in to prison. The rest of the list is populated by the usual suspects. Most of them are music performers and actresses (or acting musician combos). No professional women. What can we learn from this list? You don't need a fancy degree to make it in this world. School's for fools.
One last thing. I would not fuck a single one of these women, despite their enormous wealth. I'll do pretty much anything for money . . . but putting my penis in any of their orifices is out of the question.
Julia Roberts parked her SUV at a handicapped parking spot over the weekend, prompting me to wonder if having a giant mouth is a legitimate handicap. Sure, she can eat banana's sideways and probably eat a bag of dicks in one swallow, but does that really warrant her need to park as close as possible to the store, denying actual physically handicapped people from getting those spots? I don't think so. Maybe she can claim mental retardation as her reason for parking there. Whatever it is, I'm pretty sure America is the actual retarded party involved here. Think about it. You made her famous. Shame on you. 
