Opening Weekend Movies - 6/15/07

Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer - Otherwise known as FF2:RotSS for us Hollywood insiders. We like to abbreviate everything. I'd like to abbreviate the word "abbreviate" actually. But, on to the movie. FF2:RotSS is the sequel to the deeply flawed Fantastic Four movie, and everyone's back for seconds. The only difference between this movie and its predecessor is . . . well, this one actually looks half-way decent, which in comparison to it's barely mediocre first installment, is definitely an improvement. Will I go watch it . . . probably not. It's kind of hard to sell the wife on something like this when the memory (or, some might say, terror) that the first movie left is still fresh in her brain. I'll wait for cable on this one.

Nancy Drew - This is based on the popular (to girls at least) series of books starring a teenage super-sleuth (but where's Carmen San Diego?) who uses her wits to solve crimes . . . or something. Is this going to be watched by anyone other than pre-pubescent girls? Probably not. It's not even interesting enough to find out what the plot of this movie is.

DOA: Dead or Alive - I'm really glad that the producers of the DOA movie thought that the general populace would be too dumb to figure out its abbreviated title and maybe confuse the movie with something else. It's that same high regard for the American movie viewership that precipitated this movie's production. Let's recap . . . this is a movie based on a video game that is famous for having great tittie-jiggle graphics rendering engines. Hmm . . . you know what. I don't need any more explanations. I'm already buying my ticket.

Psych! I'm not 15 years old. I bet you totally didn't see that psych coming huh. Dude, you just got psyched. When was the last time that happened to anyone.