Opening Weekend Movies - 6/08/07

Hostel II - Torture porn gets a new addition to its fledgeling genre with the sequel to last years' Hostel, and this one is still directed by Eli Roth. I guess he likes to find new and inventive ways to slice and dice young Hollywood starlets. This particular entry focuses on chicks who are vacationing in Europe, rather than guys . . . so you know, it's totally different man. Go watch it. Just don't take your kids like the family that took theirs when I went to see the first one.

Oceans Thirteen - Not officially a third movie if you look at the title, but since the new millenia is the time of the trilogy, this third movie in the George Clooney/Brad Pitt/Matt Damon/everyone else who is cool in Hollywood right now, comes out this weekend. It should make a decent amount of cash. Even if it ends up being subpar to their last two films. Will I go watch this? Possible. But there are better ways to waste 20 bucks these days.

Surf's Up - Ok . . . it's a penguin movie. I know there have been some already. But this one is CG animated. Like "Happy Feet"? Fuck no. This one has the penguins . . . are you ready for this . . . surfing! And it has a chicken. None of the other penguin movies had a chicken in them, right? So you can see now that this is totally an original idea and everyone should go . . . "flock" . . . hehe . . . to this movie. See what I did there. I used an avian term because we're talking about birds to describe how you should all amass and go to the movie. That joke is as original as this movie is.