Normal Adolescent Behavior

When did I license the rights to my life to Hollywood? Why do you ask? Because this movie is just how I remember my high school experience to be. Wait a minute. This has more sex and drugs than when I went to high school. Fuck! Hollywood, why can't you preserve the integrity of anything. Imma sue someone.

This movie I had never heard of before comes out sometime this year. If you want to see Hollywood's version of my life, check it out. But I'm warning you, they take severe dramatic licenses. Like making up everything.

New Advertiser Welcome Mat

I'd like to welcome the newest advertiser here at BAFW. Antix Clothing is a pretty cool place for you to get some rockin' t-shirts . . . or "tees" as the kids are calling them these days. If you want a t-shirt with Bob Ross and some happy little trees and/or Che Guevara with Mickey Mouse ears, they're the people to go to. Check them out, you can click on the image on this post to find their online store or you can check my sidebar, which is a mess of links and ads in the future. Have fun shopping.

28 Weeks Later Trailer (HD)

So, yesterday I showed you the poster for the movie "28 Weeks Later", the sequel to "28 Days Later". Being that today is a brand new day, I thought I'd provide you with the link to the trailer's website so you can see it in glorious Quicktime HD. Trust me, it's the only way to view trailers. I recommend the 720P format, which took up my whole computer's screen to display. Plus, the file is not as large as the 1080P version, but hey, if you have the time and the screen real estate, then knock yourself out.

From what I can tell from the trailer this one is about a family returning to London after the epidemic that pretty much destroyed the city in the first movie. Of course, it wouldn't be any fun if the zombies . . . err . . . I mean "infected" didn't show up again, and they do. From there on, it's a desperate race for survival as these "infected" are bloody fast and triple mean.

I'm a big fan of the first movie and will definitely go watch this one when it comes out. You can check the trailer for the movie here. Enjoy.

Sideboob or Nip Slip? Johansson Edition

This could be a nip slip. I can barely make out a little something something through all of the blur present on this picture. What was the camera person using? A Polaroid camera wrapped in Saran Wrap? In any case, it is at the least a sideboob picture of Scarlett Johansson . . . and that's enough to post around here. You make your own decisions.

28 Weeks Later One Sheet

Since I made a reference to this movie and it's predecessor in my post dealing with my upcoming birthday preparations, I thought I'd post up the really bad ass poster they came up with for it. I haven't personally seen this up at any movie theater that I go to, but that's only because I don't see that many movies anymore at the local cineplexes. This is still, though, a very powerful and propaganda'ish looking image that captures the feel of a world (or country) thrown into a zombie-fueled turmoil. I am looking forward to seeing this in theaters when it is released here in the United States. I hope they keep the grimy, DV-Cam, hand-held style of the first one. Zombie movies should not be pretty.

28 Years Later

No, it's not the continuation of the "28 Days Later" and "28 Weeks Later" movies, although, my life needs a little zombie battling action. I mean, whose doesn't right? My 28th year on this planet is looming ever so closely, and I, for the first time in my long and storied existence on this stellar body we call "Earth" . . . am not all that excited about it. I don't know why. Maybe it's because the previous 27 birthdays haven't been all that memorable. I'm not your typical party animal I guess. I'm more comfortable hanging out with a drink and chilling rather than getting all crazy drunk (crunk) and inciting a riot that would attract the attention of the police.

Which is what might happen this weekend, when my wife is throwing me a little get-together/party with a few of our friends. There's always potential for mayhem when these sorts of things happen. I've been to the parties that have been held at some of these people's houses, and they tend to get buck-wild. Me, being the conciderate prick that I am, am actually worried that we'll get a noise complaint and that I'll have to deal with a couple of cops on that night. I'm planning on drinking, so I can only imagine that any conversation I have with the fuzz while inebriated might not end well for me.

So, would that end up being the ultimate present? Will Jaime have a run in with the long arm of the law on his birthday? I guess you'll have to tune in next week to find out. I wonder if they have internet access at the local jails these days. Instead of getting my one free phone call, I could opt out and get one free blog post. Oh man, this isn't even funny.

But, it could all end well and thanks to my wife, end up being the best birthday ever. I'm going with this one. Regardless of what happens, keep coming back for more, people.

Musically Inclined Mondays - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah is a weird name for a band. But that's just what their music makes you want to do. The two MP3's I'm uploading represent some of their best work (as far as I'm concerned, and my opinion is fact. Scientific fact. My head's not just big because of some freak genetic predisposition. It has to hold all that extra brains. And why is this parenthisized space so large? Let's get back to the actual post). So, what're you waiting for. Eat up my precious bandwidth with your internets music pirating. And then, check out the band's website here for some more Satan filled Yankee expelling fun times.

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Yankee Go Home
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Satan Said Dance

Box Office Report - "Cowabunga Dudes!"

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - The number one movie in the land, is a CG-animated continuation of the movies that we all enjoyed in the early 90's . . . or was it the 80's? I don't even remember. It was so long ago. I don't even know if they still say "cowabunga" in the new one. I didn't watch it. My wife, on the other hand, during a moment of induced weakness, agreed to go watch this on Friday night with a couple of her friends and it left them all in various stages of disappointment. Nostalgia can only carry something so far. Hell, I can't count the number of things I used to love as a child and when I revisit them now, I'm left wondering just what the fuck was wrong with me.

300 - This movie I did watch, three weeks ago, and it continues to make tons of money. It can actually be weighed in that amount. I mean, how much do you think 160+ million dollars weighs. I'm pretty sure it's an unimaginable amount of money. There's only a few people that can tell you how much that weighs, but I'm sure Bill Gates and those Google guys just swim in their money. No time to weigh that shit.

Shooter - "Marky" Mark Wahlberg's newest tough hombre fare does not fare well on it's opening weekend, being that it got beat by a three week old movie where no one fires a single gun, and a movie that stars ninja turtles. Still, number three ain't that bad. If you're in the Special Olympics, where everyone is a winner. So, we can call "Shooter" this weekend's "special" movie. Good going. Do you want a lollipop?

Wild Hogs - Utter shit personified in celluloid form would be a better title for this movie about mid-life crisis white (and one token black guy - mah-tin!) guys taking the "weekend warrior" way of life as they hop on their Harley Davidson motorcycles and . . . apparently, some sort of hilarity ensues. Whatever. Just remember, when you go watch this movie, which has already made 120+ million dollars, you're punishing yourself. Might as well save the ten bucks and give yourself ten lashes. Your mind will love you. Your back, well, the two of you's won't be on speaking terms for a while. But remember . . . time heals all wounds.

The Last Mimzy - What is a "mimzy" and what is it doing in my top five? I know that "Dwight" from "The Office" is in this, but he was also in "Sahara" and you saw how much that stunk. This is the other kid film which opened this weekend that did not have catch-phrase spewing martial artist reptiles in half-shells, so it was expected to make a little money. Still, 10+ million is nothing to sneeze at. Maybe you can clean your nose with a "mimzy", if that's what it is used for. Can someone tell me what the fuck a "mimzy" is!?

Search Terms - IHOS Summit Continues

This past week, I chose to keep up with the international flavored theme I went for with the previous Search Terms post, and actually managed to capture more countries this time around performing dirty dirty searches on the internets. I guess that's just how the world is these days. Let's start with the land of the free and the brave. Here are the searches originating from our own backyards.

free linsey lohan crotch shoot naked - Yahoo Search
survivor nip slips - Google Search
louise banks pantyless upskirt - Google Search
paris hilton +pantyshot +pantyless - Google Search
"daniel radcliffe's cock" - Google Search
Kyra Sedgwick upskirt - Google Search
sienna miller mpegs - Google Search
figure skater with biggest wedgie - Google Search
rachel mcadams panty red eye - Google Search
hayden panettiere upskirt - Google Search
Hayden Panettiere panties - Google Search
dan radcliffe cock pictures - Google Search
eva green dreamers video wmv - Google Search
rose mcgowan the actress amputee - Google Search
Hentai Pics of Naked Cortana - Google Search
Emma Watson's butt - Google Search
lilly allen boob - Google Search
evangeline lilly bra size - AOL Search
beyonce see up her skirt video muff shot - Google Search
does Kim Kardashian get peed on? - BlogSearch
eva green titties - Google Search
sinful comics kiera - Google Search
natalie portman pink dress v for vendetta - Google Search
She's the man screencaps - Google Search
requiem for a dream dildo mpeg - Google Search
pirates sinful comics photos - Google Search
morgan webb used panties - Google Search
Cannes caused Kirsten Dunst pee her bikini - Google Search
tv talk shows nipple slips and upskirts oops video clips - Earthlink Search
american idol upskirts - BlogSearch
hayden panettiere thong - Netscape Search
"pantyhose" - BlogDigger Search
emilie de ravin naked pictures - Google Search
hostel topless screencaps - Google Search
stacy ferguson boob slip - Google Search
catherine keener hairy armpit celebs - Google Search
upshorts in the park - Google Search

Next, we're crossing the Atlantic Ocean and landing in the land of bad teeth, black beer, and fish & chips. Let's see what the United Kingdom (including Ireland) is looking for.

bianca gascoigne no knickers - AOL Search UK
ice skating nipple slips - Google Search UK
emma watson nip slips - Google Search UK
is fergie an hermaphrodite - Google Search UK
bianca gascoigne boob - Google Search IE
bianca gascoigne flash - Google Search UK
lily allen upskirt - Google Search UK
anna farris nipple - Google Search UK
presenter upskirt pictures - MSN Live Search UK
bluepeter upskirt - Google Search UK
upskirt pantyless - Google Search UK
bianca gascoigne beaver shot - Yahoo Search UK
peeing french gymnast - Google Search UK
Emma Watson what underwear does she wear thong knickers - Google Search UK

Canada is next. For no other reason that I chose it to be that way. Deal.

inphyy naked pics - Google Search CA
amanda bynes sinful comics - Google Search CA
kardashian.mpeg - Google Search CA
Peter Wentz Naked Sidekick Pictures - Google Search CA
dress malfunctions - Google Search CA

The land of Tech Support is up next. The outsourcing Mecca (India) came through with some rather uninteresting searches, except for that one Meryll Streep search. Why India . . . why?

eva green boobs - Google Search IN
nude meryll streep - Google Search IN
bollywood nip slip - Google Search IN
nip slip of indian actress - Google Search IN

Next up is where I get my modular furniture. If only they packed better instructions over in Sweden. I mean, a stick figure and thought bubbles? If IKEA weren't so fucking cheap, I'd be pissed off. But, we're here for the searches baby. Let's focus.

emma watson without underwear - Google Search SE
janice dickinson flashing - Google Search SE
hermione granger upskirt - Google Search SE

The lists are getting smaller, but not less weird and fucked up. Case in point - Saudi Arabia. Umm . . . I don't know why they ended up here with the first search on the short list, but that's just wrong. Even for me.

photos childrens dip in beach underwear - Google Search SA
"jennifer love hewitt nipple slip' - Google Search SA

South Africa has some less pedophilic searches, but they also tend to skew old, as they're still looking for those Basic Instict pictures from when Sharon Stone was still young'ish.

sharon stone chair, OR bare, OR panties "basic instinct" -porn "picture of" photograph - Google Search ZA

The Republic of Korea (that's the one on the southern end . . . and not the crazy one) has internets access, unlike their neighbors to the north, who don't even have electricity. Which, doesn't mean that they're actually using it for the posterity of mankind. No, here's what they're spending their time on.

Lindsay Morgan Lohan panty-less - Google Search KR
Lindsay Lohan exposed no underwear - Google Search KR

While not busy flamenco dancing and pronouncing their S's like Z's, Spain hops on the internet and looks for the following:

BRA + SEE TROUGH + GALLERIES - Google Search ES
jennifer morrison photos-nude - Google Search ES

The rest of the countries in this little conglomeration of search terms all had single digit search results, so I just lump them in here. Plus, I'm tired and ready to go back to sleep. Six straight days of working will do that to you. Try it some day.

Phillipines
Kim Kardashian & Ray J Sextape - DVD RIP download - Google Search PH

Austria
pirates of the caribbean sinful comics - Google Search AT

Italy
WATERPARK NIP SLIP - Google Search IT

Malta
scarlett johansen's boob slip - Google Search MT

Turkey
nippleslips blogspot - Google Search TR

The Wrong Malakar

I don't watch "American Idol". It's not my cup of tea. But, apparently there's this contestant on it that despite an incredible lack of talent and generally looking like he's just seconds away from a sex change operation is still in the running. Yes, I'm talking about Sanjaya, and I have seen all the clips on "The Soup" and "Best Week Ever" on Friday nights to know that dude is all kinds of untalented. It's obvious that all the talent went to his sister, the weirdly monikered Shyamali Malakar, who had also auditioned for the show, but somehow got cut early on. There are two very good reasons why she should have been on the show, and you initially won't notice that until the magic of slow motion helps you appreciate just what I'm talking about.

I Heart David O. Russell

Holy fucking shit. This is just released "out-take" footage of director David O. Russell fucking losing it on the set of "I Heart Huckabees". I thought the movie was pretty entertaining before I saw this movie, but now, I must absolutely own this. Why don't the special features in movies include this? I mean, he could have killed Lily Tomlin during this altercation, that's how pissed off he looks. Enjoy his fine use of the English language throughout the clip. It's cinematic bliss.

I can just picture Jason Schwartzman and Dustin Hoffman looking at each other during this and wondering what the fuck they got into. Classic Hollywood. I heart this clip.

Carlos Mencia = World's Biggest Douche-nozzle

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Wow. Joe Rogan was right. Carlos Mencia steals "his" material. Well, not really his material when it has been performed by other comedians . . . over 20 motherfucking years ago. Come on you fucking beaner (that's what he calls himself, even though he's German). How could you be so stupid. I mean, you're stealing from Bill Cosby? You're performing his shit like you thought this up one day between runs to Taco Bell? I don't really care much that he steals jokes. What pisses me off is that this asshole is making money hand over fist with the stolen material. I mean, anyone can re-tell a joke. But this guy has fooled Comedy Central into giving him specials and shows and all the shit that goes along with being on television. Fuck him. I wish God would just take an enormous dump on his head and snuff his mortal coil.

Lindsay Lohan - Panty-ho Supreme

What the fuck is this world coming to. I just posted pictures of Janice Dickinson flashing her panty-hosed camel-toe and here I am, not 20 minutes later, posting a picture of Lindsay Lohan outdoing Janice Dickinson. I didn't know that was possible. But, see, you just can't underestimate Lindsay. Remember, this is the girl that flashed her ass to an entire auditorium full of kids during the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Award. And what is she doing? Did she just decide to hike up her skirt so the world can see her entire (shaven) cooter (and we ain't talking adorable turtle or Duke's of Hazzard characters here)? Why, I ask. Why? How is this making our world a better place. I almost wish the camera were not invented if this is what it is being used for. Certainly a low point in the history of photography. Unless you're beating off to this. Then . . . you've just reached your masturbatory Mecca. Enjoy, you dirty bastard(s).

Future Fervently Searched For Natalie Portman Scene

Currently, Natalie Portman lovers are in a state of frantic infatuation with the scene from "V for Vendetta" where Natalie is dressed up as a schoolgirl and trying to seduce a member of the clergy for the terrorist V. Well, lovers of church officials getting it on with girls (as opposed to the totally inappropriate young boys genre) can rejoice, as a movie called "Goya's Ghost" is set to be released this year that, if you ignore the fact that a body double is being used, features torture scenes involving a naked Natalie Portman and some hanky-panky action with her Inquisitorial priest. What more could you ask for right? Oh, an actual scene with her naked, doing all sort of nasty things to your schlong and/or va-j-j (depending on the reader's sexual orientation). Well, don't expect that to happen anytime soon. I hear she's got editing exclusivity on everything that she shoots, so your little sex-tape with her would end up with all the "good" parts edited out. That's just Natalie Portman for you . . . cocktease.

Janice Dickinson - Panty-ho

Janice Dickinson is officially crazy. That's just my personal opinion, which is always based on scientific facts. Like, exhibit A. Who in their right mind does this? I mean, seriously. Isn't this someone's mother? I can already picture what that poor disturbed little bastard has to live through. When he hangs out with his friends they probably tell him about how they saw his mother's old pantyhosed camel-toe on the internets. It's almost as fucked up as Cartman seeing his mother's German Schize movies on the internet on that episode of "South Park". And yes, I am comparing their life to a cartoon. Because, if there's anything Janice Dickinson is, it's a cartoon of an actual person. She's like Roger motherfuckin Rabbit . . . but sluttier. Oh, and has anyone else noticed that she has one of the most unintentionally dirty last names ever devised by the English language? Dick-in-son? Holy Jesus titty-banging Christ! One more picture of Janice showing us her "good" side? I don't know anymore.

TuGMO - Liquid Encouragement

I'm willing to bet that ain't fruit punch in those plastic cups. Unless it's mixed in with some vodka. I love these kids of parties (but why don't I ever get invited to them?). I have seen something like this live, in person, on Sunset Blvd at like 2 in the morning. If I haven't told you this story, I'll make sure to remember to retell it sometime. I have to go look through the archives though. I also love the encouragement that is happening in the background. One of the chicks starts saying that she's drooling all over the other one, but the guys chime in with a "don't worry about it, keep going" that just shows you the great friendships they have formed with these girls. These are the types of guys that drop "roofies" into those cups and then get it on with the chicks, passed out style.

Emma Watson and Magic not BFF

It looks like all of you internet perverts will have to look for a new object of your masturbatory affection, as Emma Watson, also known as Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter movies, is getting out of the magic business. While nothing is final, Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint (Harry and the red-headed dude from the movies) report that their relationship with Emma is not all that great anymore and that she doesn't want to be known as "that girl from the Harry Potter movies". Around here she's known as "that girl everyone wants to see nude pictures of". But, movie studio Warner Bro's is not finalizing anything. Here's what the BBC has to say about this:

"We're extremely confident that Emma will be back for films six and seven," a spokesperson for the Hollywood studio told CBBC's Newsround.

The statement comes amid speculation that the 16-year-old told the company she did not want to continue.

Daniel Radcliffe has already agreed to take the lead role in both productions.

So, does this mean that people will now look for naked pictures of the new Hermione? Or will they remain loyal to their original pubescent object of their desire. Only time will tell I guess.

Paris Hilton vs. Penis

I realize that I really shouldn't be uploading and then posting every picture of Paris Hilton that I find on the internets. Mostly because I think she's a pretty disgusting (oxymoron anyone?) human being, but also because my Photobucket decides to delete random pictures based on some service agreement they made me agree with when I went with them for picture hosting. Always read the fine print kids. So, I might as well just redirect you people to where the actual pictures are so that I don't see those annoying replacement jpg's they load telling everyone that I violated their service agreements. So, remember ladies and gentlemen, the title of this post is "Paris Hilton vs. Penis", and the penis in question allegedly belongs to Cee-Lo of "Gnarls Barkley" fame. Judge for yourselves after you check out the extremely NSFW picture here.

Musically Inclined Mondays - Malajube

I am not a big fan of anything French. Their general attitude towards the United States and their love for eating snails and giving it a fancy name (escargot) just leaves me cold. That is not the same for French-Canadians though, which thanks to Malajube, I'm really starting to love. It might be their relaxed laws when it comes to hashish, or just because they rock out pretty damn well. It doesn't even bother me that their music is in French. It's just damn enjoyable. The first track here is highly recommended. It's catchy, fun, and you will feel very cosmopolitan as you blast this on your computer, car, or MP3 player. The second track is all about the mellow, and it's a nice counterpart to their more pop'y first offering. Download them both and then head out to AltaVista's Babelfish translator if you really want to know what they're singing about.

Malajube - Montreal-40c
Malajube - Etienne D'Aout

Search Terms - IHOS

This week's "Search Terms" are broken down internationally, so, if you're down with acronyms, you should have deciphered the "IHOS" one stands for "International House of Searches". It also, coincidentally, sounds like something a caveman would say if cavemen spoke rudimentary English. I'd like to think they did. It has been scientifically proven in the recesses of my mind. But enough babbling. We start today with the good ol' United States of America searches. From the looks of the searches, we've got a pretty even spread of perversion. The usual suspects appear: Eva Green, Hayden Panettiere, Emma Watson, etc. Nothing all that irregular or showing any sort of trend development.

fergie hermaphrodite - Google Search
papparazzi upskirt gallerys - Google Search
picture of lily allen's boob - Google Search
evangeline lilly buttcrack - Google Search
grace park nipple - Google Search
"hills have eyes" rape scene mpeg - Google Search
kathryn mcphee naked pics - Yahoo Search
sinful comics natalie portman - Google Search
kardashian.wmv - Google Search
about emma watson's boobs - PeoplePC Search
EVA GREEN AREOLA - Comcast Search
Emma Watson nude fakes - BlogSearch
"hayden panettiere thong" - Google Search
Katharine McPhee nipple ring - Google Search
eva green mpeg dreamer - Google Search
kim kardashian video mpeg - Google Search
amanda bynes nip slips - Google Search
rachel weisz panties slip - Google Search
mariah carey muff shot - AOL Search

Let us fly over "the pond" as our friends in the United Kingdom would say, and take a look at their searches. You will see a bit of a trend here. It would seem that their love for Bianca Gascoigne and her pantyless upskirt pictures is waning and it is being replaced by an interesting fascination with pop "star" Lilly Allen's supposed upskirt pictures. None of which I have seen, so I'm thinking I'm a little out of the loop on this. You should have seen the Sitemeter stats on this. While it doesn't show up here (because I don't post repeat searches), the percentage of UK Searches looking for Lilly Allen upskirts was about 85%.

lilly allen upskirt - Google Search UK
bianca gascoigne no knickers - Google Search UK
sienna miller mpeg - Google Search UK
the sun emma watson stalked - Google Search UK
nipple "lily allen " - AOL Search UK
Havoc "Anne Hathaway" "Bijou Phillips" raped mpg - Google Search UK
"dan radcliffe cock" - Google Search UK
lilly allen no knickers - Google Search UK
kelly bell no knickers flashing photos - Google Search UK
bianca gascoigne shot - Google Search UK

Moving on, the next few countries don't really have their own sections as the searches I found for them were minimal. That doesn't make them less important, but they are posted here in order of frequency and alphabetically. First up we have a couple of German (DE) searches, one of which uses their German word for "and" (und) which made me giggle a little bit. I don't know why. Germany is closely followed by France, a country that, based on those two searches, is only preoccupied with Harry Potter's penis and upskirt pictures. Next up we have Malaysia, also with 2 searches, which are somewhat on the perverted side. I will have to ask my Malaysian co-worker about this. See if his people are into porno comics and rape scenes from Hollywood movies. Brasil is also interested in comics depicting naughty situations, while our great white neighbor to the north (Canada) is wanting to see upskirts of a certain indestructible cheerleader . . . who is still 17! The Netherlands (NL) and New Zealand (NZ) don't fall that far behind on their lust for underage poontang, as evidenced by their searches.

lindsay lohan-without slip - Google Search DE
upskirt scans und caps - Google Search DE
"daniel radcliff" naked penis - Google Search FR
"upskirt no underwear" - Google Search FR
download Sinful Pirates of the Caribbean Comic - Google Search MY
the hills have eyes rape screencap - Google Search MY
Sinful Comics menage a trois - Google Search BR
hayden panettiere thong slip - Google Search CA
"emma watson" bikini paparazzi - Google Search NL
hayden panettiere rape erotica - Google Search NZ

Now, some of you might think that I post this on purpose to drive traffic to this site. Yes. That is partially correct. I also do it because I find these searches to be extremely interesting. If they were different, I would still post them up here. It's not my fault that everyone is looking for these things. I just report on it. If the searches were totally different in scope, say someone were looking for the fulcrum speed of protons/electrons as they are accelerated in a semi-conductor, I would post that search result here, along with all the other upskirt and nipple slip searches. But, that never happens. The internets is not used for knowledge anymore.

A Fashionable Fall - Carmen Electra

Carmen Electra falls down while walking the catwalk (you better work . . .) at some Max Factor show, and as someone goes to help her up, that person falls down as well. It's fantastic, and I'm really glad this was caught on film. This is the kind of shit that wins $100,000 on "Americast Funniest Home Videos". Seriously, all this video needs is some kids eating their own boogers and a baseball to the crotch and they can just hand her the giant $100,000 novelty check . . . which she'd probably fall on as she walked off stage.

I guess this will teach the people who put on this fashion show that making your models walk down a bowling lane that is expertly waxed might not be the best idea. Specially if you're expecting Carmen Electra to walk down said catwalk.

Sienna Miller Hangs Out

Sienna Miller, star of that "Factory Girl" movie nobody saw, and generally famous for dating, then breaking up with, then dating again, and then breaking up with Jude Law who fucked their babysitter while they were together (convoluted?) is seen in these pictures hanging out topless at a beach. It would also appear that Cousin It from the Addam's Family has gotten a haircut and shaved, and is also hanging out with Sienna on said beach. And why is this news? Um . . . I don't know. She's barely a celebrity. Her cans are not that spectacular. If she could be replaced with say Natalie Portman (if you're shooting for the stars) or Olivia Munn (if we're going for same celebrity level) in these pictures and you replace Mr. Longhair McManly with say . . . me . . . or a clone of Natalie Portman and/or Olivia Munn, things would be better. But, we're talking perfect world scenarios here. We all know the world ain't perfect, and this is all we have to work with. Once poverty and war and all the other terrible things in this world are wiped out, then we'll be able to see topless beach pictures of our favorite celebs. Get crackin' world. I'm not waiting forever for this.

Evangeline Lilly Slips Butt

Evangeline Lilly, pictured just to the right of this paragraph in case you don't watch "Lost", is super hot. So hot in fact that even my wife finds her attractive enough to dip into lesbianism. And so far, she's kept her private parts private, as opposed to her Hollywood contemporaries (we're looking at you Lindsay Lohans and Paris Hiltons of the world). But nothing lasts forever, and the picture below is of her attempting to surf in Hawaii. It's an Evangeline Lilly butt slip people. A little like Lindsay Lohan's at the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards but without thousands of children present.


If this does not convince you to start watching "Lost" again, then you should know the episodes are starting to get good again. And who knows, Evangeline might just take a bath in the ocean in her underwear like on the pilot episode. If she doesn't, then you can just come back here and stare at this picture for days on end. It's the closest you'll ever get to see her butt.


You can also check out Egotastic for some more Evangeline Lilly pictures in her bikini and successfully surfing.

TuGMO - Nuff Said

Tuesday is one of my favorite days lately. I find out how much my paycheck is going to be . . . it's one day past Monday which brings me closer to the weekend, and I get to post a video of two chicks making out. What more could anyone ask for? And what a video this is. It even has piggy-back riding action. That's a first in the long running TuGMO history. Enjoy this three + minute video and have yourself a happy Tuesday.

Butt Pirates of the Caribbean

Oh, the internets is the place to go when you want your latest Disney money-maker turned into something dirty and depraved. Case in point, these pictures of Sinful Comic's latest release which adapts last summer's blockbuster event, "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Curse" into something a little less family friendly. Here, you have Keira Knightly, Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom immortalized in comic book form getting it on menage-a-trois style. Certainly something that did not appear in the cut of the movie that Disney released. So, where do you go to satiate your want for dirty pictures of stars that did not actually happen outside of a comic book panel . . . well, check out Fleshbot for more pictures and of course, feel free to head out to Sinful Comic's website for more most definately not approved images. In case you hadn't already realized, this is NSFW.

Musically Inclined Mondays - Plan B

Before I head out to work this afternoon (yes, I don't have to be in until 1 PM) I thought I'd post up the MP3 post, and since I was feeling a little on the hip hop'y side, I thought I'd post up these great Plan B tracks which feature The Rolling Stones and Radiohead. It is as good as it sounds, and I highly recommend you take up my bandwidth with the download. What else can I tell you about Plan B . . . um, fuck it. Get these tracks and make your own judgements. If you don't like it you can always delete it.

Wild Horses (feat. The Rolling Stones) - Plan B
Paint it Blacker (feat. The Rolling Stones) - Plan B
Missing Link (feat. Radiohead) - Plan B

Box Office Report - "Prepare for Glory!"

Top 5 movies in the nation are as follow:

300 - Finally, something that is great actually comes out on top over all the other shit that is currently being released at your local cineplex. And, it had quite the resounding opening weekend. Like the roar of King Leonidas, this adaptation of Frank Miller's seminal graphic novel opened up with $70 million over the weekend. Not "Spider-Man" numbers, but pretty freaking great for a movie that looked like it was going to be all about the visuals (which it is) but also manages to pack in a story that does not have an ounce of fat on it (did you see those Spartans . . . I need to go on their workout regimen).

Wild Hogs - This is what I was talking about earlier. Crap like this somehow manages to make money. Not that much in comparison to "300", but it still raked in a respectable $28 million which begs the question . . . what were your parents doing this weekend? That's the only rational explanation really. Old people suck at picking movies. I don't care if this had one funny joke. The $28 million this movie made could have been spent on something worthwhile . . . like getting those starving kids off of my late night television programming. God lord, someone donate already so I don't have to see those commercials anymore.

Bridge to Terabithia - This is a children's "Chronicles of Narnia" . . . which was a children's "Lord of the Rings" . . . so, how young were they marketing this too? It doesn't matter though. It made close to $7 million on it's 4th (what? fourth!) week out. I had no idea this was even out. Who cares.

Ghost Rider - This movie is still making money when it should be getting pelted with human feces. I mean, $100 million so far for a movie that is quite possibly worse than the original "Fantastic Four" (Corman edition)? What is this world coming to? Who still thinks that Nick Cage is anything other than a reanimated narcoleptic who yawns his way through his lines. I don't get you sometimes America. Despite the fact that this turd is making more money than it deserves, it does bode well for comic book movies out there currently in the production phases. I just hope that they don't stoop down to "Ghost Rider" level just because they can.

Zodiac - I kind of want to watch this movie, but not enough to have contributed to it's just over $6 1/2 million take at the box office this weekend. I like David Fincher movies, but this one just seems a little on the boring side. Maybe if he goes and makes another Chuck Pahlaniuk book into a movie I'll be there on opening day. Til then, I'm waiting until the DVD comes out.

Girl Fight Fridays - A Day Late

This video is labeled "Chinese Girls Fighting" on YouTube, so I was expecting some kung fu or karate . . . but apparently, these chicks haven't watched "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon", because all they do is flail about and sort of wrestle on the floor for a good 3 minutes worth of video. It is entertaining though, I was just expecting more action. I do like the product placement that happens towards the end of the video. I don't think I've wanted Little Ceasar's pizza in a long time.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters Trailer #2

Just another trailer for Boston's favorite cartoon movie that freaked them out into thinking their city was under terrorist attack. Some of the stuff in here looks like what the previous trailer had, but this one is longer, and has a few more excerpts of scenes that only enhances my want to watch this movie . . . maybe a little on the baked side. I'm not saying I enjoy hallucigenic or mood enhancing substances . . . I'm just saying that if there' any movie out there that can be enhanced by a little cannabis, it would be this one.

And "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas". But I can't remember a God damn thing about that movie. I know I watched it, but you know how college is. Experimentation led to a complete blackout when it comes to those 2 hours of my life.

Bukkake is Refreshing?

You should really look up "Bukkake" on the good ol' Google if this video somehow confuses you. If you are proficient in perversion, this term should be something that you're familiar with as it is one of the dirtiest things our friends from the Land of the Rising Sun have provided the world of pornography. This video not only makes fun of that, but also of Japanese advertisements and just how weird they are in general. I guess I'd be this weird if I had access to used schoolgirl underpants vending machines.

Search Terms - They're Back

Oh "Search Terms", it wouldn't be a week without you.

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Metereo-gullible

God bless my wife. She really is smarter than she gives herself credit for. But, there are certain moments when she says things or goes along with things that I say that make me wonder just what the hell is going on in her brain. Like Sunday evening for example. We're headed towards Burbank, to the IKEA because we needed to buy a new television stand. We got a monstruous HD screen for free, but it won't fit it our current rig . . . but that's another story.

It's about 6:00 PM when we're driving to the highway, and the sun's setting. It's a pretty spectacular sight, even for Los Angeles. The sky looks all yellow with some dark spots here and there. My wife loves clouds and sunsets, so she says this:

Heather - Oh man, look at that sky, it's beautiful.

I never miss an opportunity to mess with her, so here's the rest of the exchange.

Me - Yeah, that's nice. That's called "Banana Skies".
Heather - What? Really? Hmm. It looks like it's going to rain.
Me - Well, typically, when you have Banana Skies, it is an indicator that there will be precipitation.
Heather - Ok . . . wait . . . are you serious?

This is where it finally dawned on her that my meteorological term might not be all that accurate. I let off a laugh and then tell her that I made up the whole thing and there is no such thing as "Banana Skies". She tells me that she was totally believing what I was saying and had no reason to doubt me. Somehow, what I said sounded scientifically plausible.

I'll be the first to admit that I have these types of genius moments all the time . . . but it's just funnier when it happens to someone else. And when you're the catalyst for this moment.

Even Trolls get Groped

I don't know who finds Kirsten Dunst attractive (apart from a certain, self-proclaimed ePCdoctor . . . but his standards are questionable to begin with). There is certainly nothing aesthetically pleasing about her whatsoever. I mean, just look at these pictures. Sure, she's in a bikini, but I'm willing to bet most of the (sane) male population can look at these pictures and shrug as they resume their search for pictures of hotter women on the internet. So, why am I posting these pictures? For the troll-loving perverts out there that want to see Kirsten Dunst in a bikini . . . getting her breasts fondled by her friend. To all the sick fucks out there, enjoy the picture below. I don't know how you can live with yourselves, but keep on coming back. Oh, and nice choice on the sunglasses Kirsten. I don't know if you were being ironic or just plain retarded when you put those on. My money's on retarded.

Musically Inclined Mondays - How I Became The Bomb

"How I Became The Bomb" is a peculiar band. Don't get me wrong, they're great and have a perfect sound, but it looks like they mostly sing about super-hero secret identities and how they pertain to romantic relationships and how befriending a robot might not be the smartest thing to do. The MP3 files in this post are definitely download-worthy, so check them out yourself, and if you want to know more about the band, you can always check out their MySpace page here. I don't usually link to MySpace, but this band is good enough that I will break my own ban on that social networking website.

How I Became The Bomb - Secret Identity
How I Became The Bomb - Robo

While at their MySpace page you can also download 2 more tracks, "Killing Machine" and "Kneel Before Zod". Take advantage of that.

Road Rage - Justified

People at work tell me that they can't picture me being anything other than mellow. Something about my monotone voice. I told them that they haven't seen my road rage in action . . . and too bad they weren't around today in Pasadena around 2:30 pm. Let me explain what happened. My wife and I were on our way to breakfast (yes, at 2:30 pm) and we were understandably hungry. We were waiting for some people to turn left on Arroyo from Colorado Blvd, and the light was green and no one was coming from the other way. So, this prick not moving started to piss my wife off.

So, as soon as we get moving, I pull up next to the car (a piece of shit Camry) and I roll (not really, there's a button for that) down the window and I let out a "Fuck you!" accompanied with the classic flip of the bird. And I speed off, but . . . we get stuck next to the same car at a red light. So, instead of ignoring their piercing stares, I decide to roll down the window. This is how the calm and rational conversation went.

Me: Hey, fucker, ever thought about getting a driver's license? Think about driving better much!"

The driver, who was the father I'm assuming, just sits there and nods at me. I think I might have scared him, but his punk ass teenaged son thought I'd be a good idea to direct words towards me.

Teenaged Douche-bag son: Hey, shut up man! I'll get my homies up your ass!
Me: What? What was that dick. Up my ass? You have gay homies?!
Teenaged Douche-bag son: Shut up man.
Me: Whatever queer.

Then, the mother started getting into it a little bit, but I was done fighting with an entire family from my car to their car, so I drove off and we lost them after they didn't make the red. What was my wife doing during this entire tirade? Laughing her ass off. Most women would have sunk down into the seat in shame, but my wife is supportive like that. What a woman. Which, I think might have pissed off the family, because not only was I cussing them out for being a bag o' dicks . . . there was someone laughing at them the whole time.

We made it to IHOP and had a great breakfast/lunch.

Paprika Trailer

Anime fans rejoice. Satoshi Kon's latest, "Paprika", is set to be released by Sony Pictures Classics this year, and from the look of the trailer, it looks pretty amazing. Don't be fooled by the tentacles in the first picture. I don't think it's one of those types of anime releases. From what I can discern from the Apple site that is hosting the trailer, this is about a research psychotherapist that slips into an alter-ego to do some dream detective work for her clients, all in an effort to find out what is causing their anxiety and neurosis.


Doesn't sound like your typical children's fare, huh? Well, that's because Japanese animators don't always cater to the kids, but rather put out adult (sometimes disturbingly so) material for the Japanese mass consumption. Just be glad we're getting some of that genius imported to our shores. Check out the trailer here and keep an eye for when this movie has it's limited release here in the US.


You can also learn more about this movie by visiting the movie's official website which is located here.

Kim Kardashian Sex Clips

So, with the imminent release of the Kim Kardashian Sex Tape, it's only natural that clips start leaking out into the interweb so that we don't forget that it is actually happening. You know, so that the participants can make some money off of it. You don't think that this isn't part of some master plan by Kardashian's people to propel her to Paris Hilton proportions . . . do you? I mean, why else would they make a big deal about it? To raise public interest. It's just sad that women these days have to do this to get ahead. What happened to the Women's Rights movement. What did you mother burn her bra for in the 60's? I'm pretty sure it wasn't for this.

America's Next (Naked) Top Model

I haven't had a chance to check out the latest season of "America's Next Top Model" yet. Just looking at the shows on queue on my DVR that are waiting to be watched, it really doesn't make a strong point for me to watch the 2 hour season premier of the "Everyone look at me, it's Tyra, and I'm fierce" festival of ego that is that show. But, it seems that some things have been discovered about one of the contestants on this season (or cycle as they like to call it) of the show. It seems that Jael has done some naked modeling. If she were on "Flavor of Love", she'd be out on her ass right now, because, as you know, Flav likes to keep it real like that. But, I don't know if this will become a factor on this show. We might get a whole lecture on how this is not the way modeling works and how Tyra never had to stoop to that level (although, she gets really close) to become the ruler of the modeling industry. But, in the meantime, you can check out her profile here on The CW website while it still exists and also check out this pretty risque picture of her looking her fiercest.

Hostel 2 Poster

Before you whip it out and start feverishly whacking off to the sight of that boob there . . . realize that it is a decapitated Bijou Phillips that you're wanking it to. If you started before reading this, get some mental help. For everyone else, while this is not the one sheet poster you will see at your local cineplex when "Hostel 2" comes out, it is a variant poster only available through some New York movie trade show, and only 200 copies of this image were printed. Disturbing. Yes. But then again, Bijou Phillips has always been a little on the disturbingly sexy side. I guess getting decapitated for a movie poster isn't too much of a deviation for her. Make sure you catch director Eli Roth's next installment in the "tourists get tortured" opus when it is released in theaters.