Box Office Report - Almighty Dollars

Evan Almighty - Because people like crap, and Steve Carrell, it doesn't surprise me at all that this movie made it to the top of the pack this past weekend. It doesn't look all that funny to me, so I won't be watching it, but Steve Carrell's a nice guy. I hope it makes more money, for his sake, so he can move on to bigger and better projects.

1408 - I don't think a Stephen King movie has made this much money in recent history. This particular story I'm not all that familiar with, and it seems a little on the hokey side. But, it does look creepy enough to raise my interest. I'm just glad they didn't go the "made for TV" route with this one. I've always liked Stephen King stories, and if this one does well, it could pave the way for my favorite Stephen King yarn that is getting the big screen adaptation to make some nice cash. I'm talking about "The Mist", which should be coming out within the year. I hope. Look out for that one, and go watch this one while you're at it.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer - I'm getting conflicting views on this movie. On the one hand, I've read that it is terrible. They get everything wrong. On the other side of the argument, they acknowledge the things that went wrong, but also praise the things that were right so much that it is recommended. Whatever the case, it's coming up on $100,000,000, which is pretty good for a movie these days. But, it still does nothing to make me want to go see it. That whole initial trailer-frenzy that I went through a few months ago has dissipated. I might catch it on HBO when it comes out on cable.

Ocean's Thirteen - Another sequel I'm not all that interested about. Summer is currently boring the shit out of me. Nothing comes out that I'm really jazzed about. Yeah, I just said "jazzed". This movie just looks like it's beating a dead horse. We got it after the first "Ocean's" movie. The second one felt like it was treading water. And the third one . . . I don't know, is there even any more water to tread on?

Knocked Up - This movie, I do encourage everyone to go see. It's already a financial success, but it still deserves more cinematic love from audiences all over America. This movie is better than "The 40 Year Old Virgin". That's saying a lot, because that movie was great. Don't wait for video or cable. Watch it now, then buy the DVD (or Blu-Ray or HD-DVD . . . whatever format you want) and then watch the movie on cable. You won't be disappointed.

Box Office Report - It's Clobbering Time-ish!

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer - Yes, despite looking just marginally better than the first movie of this franchise, this movie managed to stretch it's way into the top spot for the box office numbers for the weekend. But, it doesn't look as spectacular as other comic book inspired movies, like last month's "Spider-Man 3". It didn't even make half as much as that movie made. But, it's a win for Marvel. Let's just hope that they can start putting out good comic book movies instead of shit like "Ghost Rider", this movie, and "Spider-Man 3".

Ocean's Thirteen - Last week's number one gets bumped down to number 2, but that doesn't mean it's not making a ton of money still. Although, I wonder, with so many big names, just how much money does this movie need to make before it covers just their salaries. It's made just under $70 million so far. I just would like to know how much they payed Al Pacino, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and George Clooney combined.

Knocked Up - I'm really happy to see this movie performing as well as it is. Even though it's never held the coveted "#1 Movie in America" title, it's still going strong in it's 3rd week of release and closing in on the $100 million mark. I believe it even outperformed "Ocean's Thirteen", being that it only made $2 million less than that movie but it was being screen on a considerably less number of screens across the nation. Well done Judd Apatow and crew.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - What more can I say about this movie . . . other than it has made $250+ million for Disney, which they will most likely use to fund another crap-tacular movie. Most likely an animated one, based on this movie, because they need to milk this dead horse for as long as possible. Whatever. Does anyone even care about Jack Sparrow or any other character in this story?

Surf's Up - And profits are down. Maybe this will teach Hollywood that we're finally sick and tired of the fucking penguins. Give them a rest. Make a motherfucking manatee movie. Change it up people. Just because one idea worked, a couple of times, doesn't mean that it will forever. Even the penguins (the real ones not the CGI'd ones) on your promos for the film groaned about another penguin movie being released. If your advertising campaign is tired of the genre, it's time to move on.

Opening Weekend Movies - 6/15/07

Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer - Otherwise known as FF2:RotSS for us Hollywood insiders. We like to abbreviate everything. I'd like to abbreviate the word "abbreviate" actually. But, on to the movie. FF2:RotSS is the sequel to the deeply flawed Fantastic Four movie, and everyone's back for seconds. The only difference between this movie and its predecessor is . . . well, this one actually looks half-way decent, which in comparison to it's barely mediocre first installment, is definitely an improvement. Will I go watch it . . . probably not. It's kind of hard to sell the wife on something like this when the memory (or, some might say, terror) that the first movie left is still fresh in her brain. I'll wait for cable on this one.

Nancy Drew - This is based on the popular (to girls at least) series of books starring a teenage super-sleuth (but where's Carmen San Diego?) who uses her wits to solve crimes . . . or something. Is this going to be watched by anyone other than pre-pubescent girls? Probably not. It's not even interesting enough to find out what the plot of this movie is.

DOA: Dead or Alive - I'm really glad that the producers of the DOA movie thought that the general populace would be too dumb to figure out its abbreviated title and maybe confuse the movie with something else. It's that same high regard for the American movie viewership that precipitated this movie's production. Let's recap . . . this is a movie based on a video game that is famous for having great tittie-jiggle graphics rendering engines. Hmm . . . you know what. I don't need any more explanations. I'm already buying my ticket.

Psych! I'm not 15 years old. I bet you totally didn't see that psych coming huh. Dude, you just got psyched. When was the last time that happened to anyone.