BAFW's Goodbye to 2007

This will be, officially, BAFW's final post of the year. 2007 has been good to me, as far as blogging goes. The traffic increased, decreased, increased again, and it looks like an upward trend is developing. I've actually made a little money on the internets this year, which is always welcome. And of course, celebrities keep making asses out themselves which keeps me from stagnating here. Or am I stagnating because I keep writing about them? I'm not sure. Whatever. I'll come back sometime next year (most likely tomorrow) to keep posting about random shit that interests me and makes me laugh.

Nicollette Sheridan Confuses Me

Nicollette Sheridan, one of the cast members for that show I don't watch about housewives who are desperate, is seen here in these pictures wearing a bikini. And I don't know why I am posting them. I feel like I'm checking out a grandma walking around almost naked. She's pretty old and all, but despite all of that . . . she's not looking half bad in her bikini. What the hell is going on?! One more picture, this one showing the rear. For all the cougar lovers out there. You know who you are.



Super Awesome Cougar Update!

So, I just posted probably like a minute ago, and then, while making my rounds, I find this over at Egotastic.com. If you can ignore Nicollette Sheridan's weird face (I suggest cropping the picture by scrolling down) you can see a totally awesome cougar nip slip.

One more, this one, extreme close-up style.

Enjoy these extra two pictures while they last. Photobucket has been eyeing my recent uploads like a hawk, and these two pictures are bound to last about a day or so.

Search Terms - Last of 2007

The holiday season might have stalled the traffic a little around here, but it hasn't really changed the type of visitors that I get. It's still the weird assortment of people looking for underage individuals in compromising situations, celebrities flashing skin, and . . . for some reason . . . rape videos? What's wrong with you? In any case, this is the final Search Terms post for 2007. It's been a good year here at BAFW, and you'll definitely see these coming back in 2008.

"emma watson's stomach" - Google Search UK
candid random pics upskirt - AOL Search
figure skating wardrobe malfunction - Yahoo Search
maggie green mpegs - Yahoo Search
bianca gasgoine - Google Search UK
gwen stefani bikini - Yahoo Search
French Gymnast pees - Yahoo Search
jessica simpson papparazi - AOL Search
winona ryder - BlogSearch
pretty lady - AOL Search
PICTURES OF OLIVIA MUNN - Yahoo Search
ashley olsen nude - AOL Search
katharine mcphee nipples - Google Search
jerri aka freak pasadena my space - Yahoo Search
lindsey nopanties - AOL Search
Emma Watson - Ok.Hu Search
emmanuelle chriqui nipple - Yahoo Search
hollwood actress hot boobs exposed nipple videos - Google Search
preteen bikini models - AOL Search
celebritymovieblog - Google Search PT
kim kardashian ass - AOL Search
penelop cruz - Pretrazivac Krstarice Search?
v for vendetta Natalie Portman panty - Yahoo Search
hills have eyes rape scenes + wmv - Google Search
stacy ferguson aka fergie's bra size - Yahoo Search
Kim Kardashian nude pictures - Yahoo Search
"Kristen Bell+thong" - Google Search SE
janice dickinson peeing - AOL Search
www.blog-celebritymovieblog.com - Yahoo Search UK
www.totally crap.com - Virgin Media Search
ciera hermaphrodite - Google Search
Emmanuelle Chriqui nip slip - Yahoo Search
Olsen Twins - AOL Search
two girls one cup - BlogSearch
grasshoppercomics.com - Yahoo Search
the free players "snakes from space" - Google Search FI
JENNIFER CONNELLY NUDE - Ok.Hu Search
"mischa barton" upskirt - Google Search DE

Post-Christmas Present

Well, Christmas is over. I should be at work, but I thought I'd use up one of the many sick days I hadn't before this year to give myself a little bit of a breather. It also allows me to post the picture below, which is a present to all of you perverts that didn't get what you wanted this year. Enjoy the picture of these Victoria's Secret models in the nude.

Don't ever say I don't get you anything.

Christmas Booty 2007

Ah, another year, another Christmas, and another set of awesome presents from my wife. Just going to do a quick rundown of the presents she got me, because . . . well, I have nothing else to do right now, and I'd like to immortalize it on the interweb.

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare - She knows how to get my video game geek going. I've been wanting to play this for quite some time now. Everyone on my damn XBOX 360 friends list is playing this, and I felt a little left out. Now I can join them, provided I find the time to actually play the multiplayer online.

13 Bullets by David Wellington - I'm halfway through finishing David Wellington's third zombie novel, "Monster Planet". I had no idea this guy had written anything else. So I was glad to see this book when I was unwrapping my presents. This one is about vampires, which should be interesting. Wellington added some clever ideas into his zombie books, so I'm excited to see what he does with the vampire genre.

Assorted plain t-shirts - I know what you're thinking. Plain t-shirts? What kind of lame gift is that? But it's not. I love plain t-shirts. They're good for layering. And it's hard to find good ones that can survive a couple of goes through the washing/drying process. Finish Line has some good ones that are not too huge, and don't lose too much of their original size when they are washed/dried. And it's one of the only things I actually asked for this Christmas. I got an assortment of colors totaling 5 in all.

Brown Belt - Another lame gift that Jaime is all excited about? Fuck you if you're thinking that. Before today, I owned 1 belt. One. A black one that I've had since 1997. So this belt essentially doubles my belt repertoire. Which is great since I basically have to tuck my shirt into my pants whenever I go to work now. This present gives me the option of either wearing a black belt or a brown belt. I'm excited about it.

Nick Swardson's "Party" CD/DVD - Nick Swardson is a funny motherfucker. I've listened through half of the CD part, and I've giggled myself silly. I recommend you get this if you don't already own it. And there's a bonus DVD with a couple of his comedy specials. A great present.

Dethklok: Deth Album - I've watched all of the "Metalpocalypse" episodes on Adult Swim, and this show is solely responsible for opening my ears to death metal. I had seen this album advertised while watching Adult Swim a few times, but I am anti purchasing CD's, but I'm not anti receiving CD's as presents. So it's great that she actually bought this for me.

Green Sweater - Another one of those gifts that I really should not be all that jazzed about. But, since my new position at the bank requires a "business casual" dress code, sweaters have become a part of my weekly wardrobe choices. I only had 2 or so sweaters before today, so being able to debut another one at work is going to work out for me pretty good.

And now, other stuff from other people.

Christmas Cash - Bless my parents. They know just what I want. Even at the tender age of 28, I still look forward to the money I'll get for Christmas. I won't tell you how much I got, but it's enough to get myself enough to keep the economy going for another few months. Fuck you recession!

Best Buy Gift Card - I don't know how much this is for. It's from my step-sister Celeste and my nephew Everett who are in from New York. I'm not going to call in or go to the website to find out. I want to be surprised. Maybe I'll show up to the register area with a 40" LCD HDTV and the gift card will be enough for it. Chances are . . . it'll probably not be enough. But a man can dream right?

I might have missed something. And I still haven't gotten a present from my brother, which I'm picking up tomorrow. I've got a sneaking suspicion that it might be a gift card for a certain electronics superstore . . .

Britney Spears's Gift for XXXmas

What do you do when your little sister steals your weirdo inappropriate limelight? You wear something that technically only qualifies as a t-shirt because it is shaped like one. And you do that while not wearing anything under so that your nipples poke right through. I'm pretty sure you can see areola-definition in these pictures which, I should say, is mighty impressive.

And to make it even better . . . throw in a little down-blouse while you're at it. Why not. Your records are not selling. Might as well keep everyone from forgetting you by showing as much skin without showing it at the same time.

Merry X-Mas from BAFW

Hey fuckers. Enjoy your Christmas (or Kwanzaa) eve day off. I'll be at work, from 5 AM to 2 PM today, calling you people about your credit cards and why you haven't paid your bills in the last 2 months. Yeah, I thought that would be super fun times too. Thankfully, the bank gives me the day off tomorrow, but I am royally pissed off that it is not even 4:30 AM and I've already posted twice for the day, am about to leave the comfort of home for the next 9 hours, and I didn't really get much sleep last night. Bah fucking humbug.

Box Office Report -National Booty

National Treasure: Book of Secrets - Well well well, finally, a Nick Cage cinematic vehicle that is profitable. Sure, it didn't have "I Am Legend"s gigantic numbers from last weekend, but doing about just over half that much business is still great. Maybe it's because his hair in this movie was actually believable? Possible. And I know I said I would wait a while to see this in theaters, but I'm pretty sure I will be catching this on Christmas Day with my brother in law. He's only in town for a couple more days, and I'm sure he'd be cool with picking a movie for once rather than get dragged along to the movies my wife and I want to watch. This one's for you Stephen!

I Am Legend - 2nd week out, about 50% drop in cash in, but still well past the 100 million dollar mark. I think this movie has done pretty well for itself. Everyone seems to want to go watch Will Smith fighting evil rabies vampire zombies . . . it makes more sense when you watch it.

Alvin and the Chipmunks - Ugh . . . this movie. I don't know what's wrong with people. It's because of you, that went to watch this, that Hollywood thinks that there's a market for this garbage. Computer animated chipmunks that sing? Give me a fucking break. This is almost as relevant as that Garfield movie that came out (what? there were two of them? Oh yeah . . . I was intoxicated at the time). Except that the Garfield movie had the cred of having great actors like Bill Murray . . . I said actors right? Never mind. Great actor.

Charlie Wilson's War - Not a bad showing for a movie that doesn't promise a whole lot of action or animated animals or rabid vampire zombies. Maybe it helped that there were no musical numbers. And maybe people wanted to see a movie about the cold war when it was actually cold outside. Who cares. Whatever it did right, it did it good enough to land it a spot in the top 5.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - See . . . musicals are crap. Quit making them. Sure, it's in the top five movies, but that Nick Cage movie killed you. I don't care that your songs are written by some guy named Sondheim. And that you have Tim Burton inexplicably embracing this. And don't even mention Johnny Depp. That guy's around whenever Burton moves his bowels. This movie might make more money when it's released on DVD . . . or BluRay . . . or Betamax.

Hancock Trailer

Will Smith is on a bit of a roll lately. Sure, the CGI effects on "I Am Legend" were . . . well, a little laughable. The movie was still great, and it didn't distract too much, but here's the trailer for his next movie project: "Hancock" in which he's a homeless superhero that kinda messes things up when he saves lives. Should make for some interesting and funny sequences. The jury in my head is still out on this movie, until I see a little more about it, but I think I might actually be going to watch this movie next summer. Plus, it has Jason Bateman in it, and I'll watch almost anything he's in.

Opening Weekend Movies - 12/21/2007

Charlie Wilson's War - I had not heard about this movie until I saw the commercial for it this week. From the looks of this, it might be an actually good movie. It has Tom Hanks, Phillip Seymour Hoffman and . . . ugh . . . Julia Roberts? Really? I have to rethink my previous assessment of this movie now. I am not a fan of that big (literally) mouthed actress. Might pick this up on DVD though. Who knows.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets - The first "National Treasure" movie was an entertaining but rather forgettable action romp. Not sure why they're making another one. But it looks like everyone involved with the first movie is coming back for another paycheck. I'm not sure if I want to see Nick Cage do his impersonation of a drunk Elvis Presley for an hour and a half again, but once again, a few months from now, when we're struggling to find a good DVD title to watch, I might give this a chance.

P.S. I Love You - Chick-flick alert! Hillary Swank stars in this movie about a woman who loses the man she loves (played by Ruppert Everett of "300" loined-clothed fame) and now must look for love while she flashes back or has ghostly apparitions of her former lover. I think that's what this is about. I could be wrong. But then again, does anyone care?

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - Officially the longest title of the week, this Johnny Depp musical . . . wait, musical? What the fuck is up with Tim Burton these days. Everything he does is a musical now. Get back to making dark movies. I don't care how much blood or killing this movie has. It's a musical. Pfft . . . I'm passing on this one.

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story - John C. Reilly is a funny man. It's good to finally see him carrying a comedy on his own. And this is not a musical like the previous movie. It's a satire on music biopics. That makes it different. I might actually catch this in theaters. Just for a laugh or two on a matinee.

The Hottie & The Nottie Poster (Which is Which?)

"The Hottie & The Nottie" is a movie which I've never heard about until today. From the looks of it, it's gotta be a science fiction movie. That's the only way I can fathom Paris Hilton being cast in the role of the "Hottie". And apparently, based on the makeup applied to the "Nottie", they've cast a zombie opposite her to help make her look more appealing. Way to go Hollywood.

Jamie Lynn Spears Knows how to Pick 'Em

As previously reported, Britney Spears' little sister has been impregnated, and she's keeping the baby. Papa don't preach. But, it looks increasingly evident that the guy responsible for inseminating the underage Nickelodeon star won't be around to help raise the child. The guy's name is Casey Aldridge, and from the looks of his MySpace page, he's moving on. Which is kind of stupid if you ask me. All he needed to do is get married to the retard, live off of her millions (if she has any), and then divorce her a couple of years later, seek custody of the children, make sure there were no pre-nuptial agreements, and get child support for life. You know, what Kevin Federline did. That's the smart way to deal with the Spears'. So, Casey Aldrigde, if you're reading this, do the right thing. Pretend you want her back so you can rake in the dough.

Getting through the Hump with Search Terms

Once again, dumping out the search terms. Not much new here. I still don't know how all of these searches end up here. But whatever. Hopefully these people eventually found what they were looking for . . . and in some cases, I hope the people from "To Catch a Predator" were waiting for them with an open embrace and a pair of handcuffs.

boob - AOL Search
waterpark nipslip - Google Search BR
JESSICA SIMPSON FAKE - AOL Search
jenny mccartney pics - Yahoo Search
Pantyhose cheerleader - Google Search
katharine mcphee nipples - Starware Search
blogspot upskirt - Starware Search
pimple on areola - AOL Search
French gymnast pees - Google Search
Daniel Radcliffe nude pictures - Yahoo Search Fr
"green boob" "return of the jedi" jabba - Google Search
buzzfeed ashanti panties glimpse of heaven - Google Search
lindsay lohan crotch shot - Google Search
hills have eyes Emilie de Ravin rape scene mpeg - Yahoo Search
winona ryder - BlogSearch
emma watson nude - Google Search BR
gymnast crotch - AOL Search
olsen twins upskirt - Earthlink Search
extreme bikini - Orange Search ES
jessica simpson's camel toe - AOL Search
Amy Smart - Ok.Hu Search
sideboob - Ok.Hu Search
nipslip OR "nip slip" - Google Search
token south park - AOL Search
kiera knightley - AOL Search
gymnast camel toe - AOL Search
emma watson's vagina pictures - Dogpile Search
superbad thong - AOL Search
LOUISE BANKS naked - Yahoo Search
"my dreams are all dead and" shaver - Google Search RU
incest upskirts +nipslip - Yahoo Search
virjins photo - Google Search
brooke hogan nipple - Yahoo Search
singer upskirt - AOL Search
extreme nipples - Earthlink Search
panty less - AOL Search
spice girls legs - AOL Search
Downblouse - Technorati Search
ciera hermaphrodite - Google Search UK
the best rape scenes of bollywood - Google Search IN
"teddy's cheer club"scott ford - Google Search

Jamie Lynn Spears - Future Mother of the Year

Jamie Lynn Spears, younger sister of Britney Spears . . . and by younger I mean 16 years old . . . is pregnant. Now, you might think this might just be a rumor cooked up by the gossip rags to sell more copies, but it's both confirmed by OK Magazine and TMZ.com. But, if that's not enough to convince you, take this quote from Nickelodeon, acquired by televised gossip rag Extra! as more proof.

"We respect Jamie Lynn's decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynn's well being."

And in summation . . . did this even surprise anyone? It just makes sense to me. I'm surprised she's not expecting her third child already. 'Cause, as they'll tell you in the south . . . "if she's old enough to bleed, she's old enough to breed".

Karolina Kurkova Knows how to work Assets

In case you're not in the know, Karolina Kurkova is one of the Victoria's Secret super-models you see in their print and television ads all the time. Usually wearing fake wings and things like that. Here she is, strutting around in panties and a tank top for your viewing pleasure. Which is great and all, but I'm kind of getting tired of these Victoria's Secret chicks. They're catalog (which I keep getting even though I stopped mastur . . . um . . . nevermind) is such a tease. Why don't they just show them naked? Just a thought. Wouldn't you anticipate the arrival of said catalog if you knew you were going to get a glimpse at these super hot chicks wearing nothing at all? Yeah, I thought so as well. Anyway, more semi-clothed pics of this Kurkova woman below. Feel free to let your imagination photoshop the clothes out. It's what I do.

The Dark Knight Trailer

I caught this trailer for the upcoming Batman sequel "The Dark Knight" when I went to watch "I Am Legend" this weekend. I heard a lot of cheering in the crowd, and with good reason. The trailer looks amazing. The movie looks amazing. Even better than "Batman Begins". Heath Ledger looks downright creepy as The Joker and Christian Bale has his Batman down. Director Christopher Nolan replaced Katie Holmes with Maggie Gyllenhaal this time around, most likely because Katie Holmes is still being held captive by Tom Cruise and his Scientology cronies. Maybe in the third Batman film, the Dark Knight can fight Scientology. That would be great. In any case, check out the trailer here.

Desperate Housewife in the Nude

These photos of Marcia Cross, one of the leads on NBC's "Desperate Housewives" recently were made public. By the looks of them, I think this particular set of pictures were taken in the 70's. Why? Well, that's the only logical explanation for that giant, hairy bush she's sporting between her legs. It looks like she's got Screech from "Saved by the Bell" in a leg-lock.

Amanda Beard Bikini Abundance

Short disclaimer before I proceed . . . I don't usually post this many pictures of girls in bikinis at a time. There were just so many to snag this time around, that I had to pick the best few shots, and that added up to a total of four pictures. I don't want anyone getting any weird ideas that I am an Amanda Beard afficionado. But, hey, would you like to wake up on a cold Monday morning to pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt in a bikini, or would you rather have Olympic gold medalist Amanda Beard strutting her stuff in Hawaii. Yeah, I thought so. But, as always, with everything good, there's always a slight downside. Beard's body is tight. It's her face that is riding the borderline of being considered "butterface'ish". That's my own personal opinion though, which, in most third world countries is considered the law of the land, but here in the United States, it's just that, an opinion. Here are the rest of the pictures for your possible enjoyment.

Jennifer Love Hewitt is thin, by Comparison

By now, you must have heard that Jennifer Love Hewitt doesn't like it when people call her fat. Because, as she claims herself, she's a size 2, and the cellulite that's residing around her ass and thigh areas is just an optical illusion. Maybe the reason she thinks she's not putting on the lbs is because she hangs out with women who are bigger than her. Kind of how a pretty chick will have one or two butt-ugly friends to make her look better. So, yes, by comparison, Jennifer Love Hewitt looks like one of the Olsen twins. I hope that box is full of food, because she's on the verge of looking like one of those kids on those "adopt-a-third-world-country-kids" commercials they play at midnight. So, I understand her tactic, but . . . why did she have to kiss the chunky chick? Maybe she's congratulating her for a job well done.

Cloverfield Clip

There's a little contest going on with the folks over at the "Cloverfield" movie. If you see this here first, and "grab" it, the most people with "grabs" gets a little prize. So, please feel free to either just watch this, or repost it on your blog, myspace, or whatever it is that you have on the interweb, and help BAFW win something.

Opening Weekend Movies - 12/14/2007

Alvin and the Chipmunks - Who really wanted to see a CG version of this rather lame cartoon series from the 80's? If you're saying "me me me!" then you deserve an Acme brand anvil to drop on your head. Shake it off though . . . or die, doesn't really matter to me. If you were asking for this movie to come out, then fuck you. And just what is going on with Jason Lee? He used to be my favorite actor some time ago. Dating all the way to "Mallrats". Sure, he does the Kevin Smith movie occasionally when the big movie studios decide to get their heads out of their asses, but the majority of the projects he gets involved in are kids movies. Didn't he just do the voice for "Underdog"? Sure, he might be making tons of cash while selling out, but I think he needs some sort of intervention.

I Am Legend - Finally, a movie that I've wanted to see for a long time comes out, and it's very likely I will catch this in theaters over the weekend. I don't even care that it's Will Smith that's starring in this. The movie just looks bad ass. This is what BAFW recommends you watch this weekend.

The Perfect Holiday - I get it. It's the holiday season. Christmas movies come out at this time. But I don't have to like it. These things should be relegated to coming out either straight to video or maybe debuting on a lame ass cable TV channel. You know, like Lifetime or WE. Don't go watch this, or any other Christmas themed movie this year. It's just a waste of your valuable dollars and time.

Beyonce's Nip Slip

I'm not quite sure if I've seen this in the past, or any other instances of Beyonce Knowles letting the nip slip out of her dress, but here's proof that it happens. This shot was taken while her and boyfriend Jay-Z were on vacation. I wonder if she lets him pay for that. Because, you know, she's an independent woman and all. Oh, that was just a song? Women and their feminism. When it comes down to it, they all just want a sugar daddy.

Megan Fox Nip-Slip . . . Sorta

I know the interweb gets into a frenzy whenever hot Hollywood chicks show a miniscule amount of skin, so, here's me adding to that. If you don't know who Megan Fox is, then you didn't watch the "Transformers" movie that opened during the summer. The flick was OK, and she was definitely a stand-out in the movie. Not because she's a great actress, but rather because she looked smoking hot throughout the whole movie. I'm not sure, or not interested is more like it, what she's doing now. But, the paparazzi are always around and they caught a little hint of areola just recently when Megan was signing autographs for her fans. The close-up picture is below, along with another picture just for the hell of it.



Photos courtesy of Egotastic.

The Machine Girl = Holy Shit!

Holy shit! That's pretty much all I can muster to describe this movie. It's intense. I want to see this. I don't care if it's on DVD or in the theaters. The Japanese are fucking crazy. Check out the unrated, not-safe-for-work trailer above, and crap your pants in anticipation.

Winona Ryder Sex Tape

"The Ten" is a pretty hilarious looking movie which I heard about a few months ago. And, I'm still not sure when it's coming out. But I do know this. Winona Ryder gets it on with a puppet. That makes for some good comedy right there. It's not as graphic as I would like it, but you have to agree that this is a pretty good marketing technique. So, keep an eye out for this movie when it hits theaters. Unless it already has, in which case, what are you doing wasting your time here?

Quick Edit - Ah, so the movie came and went, and it's going to be released on DVD this January. Here's the trailer. Remember, I did the above as a goof.

Kristen Bell in Princess Leia Costume

Princess Leia in a gold bikini helped me get through my early stages of puberty. I must have watched "Return of the Jedi" until my Betamax copy (yes, Betamax) snapped in half. So, imagine the sweet nostalgic moment my penis is experiencing right now as it looks at these pictures of Kristen Bell in that slave girl metal bikini costume. Now, I'd like to believe that she likes to walk around all the time in this get up, but it's for an upcoming movie called "Fanboys", which might be a loosely based on my life pseudo-documentary. One more shot of Kristen Bell, in the metal bikini get up below. Enjoy.

James Franco Interview

Is it me or is everyone in Hollywood on something these days. Now, James Franco might not be as bad off as say, Amy Winehouse in the post previous to this one, but you can see that he's been hitting something prior to this MTV interview. Perhaps the chiba? He looks a little on the goofy side. But you know what, I don't have a problem with that. It's just pot right? It's not like he's eating baby-fetuses to stay forever young. When he starts doing that, I'll join the lynch mob to take down that monster. For now, let him toke his bong and I'll continue laughing at him whenever he does an interview high.

Amy Winehouse Walks Around

Amy Winehouse, who was looking very zombi-ish last week, has gotten her shit together, and now only looks like a hobo walking around the streets of England with random shit in her hands. Is that a duvet cover and a bucket of paint? What the fuck is wrong with her. I know she doesn't want to got to rehab, because, you know, she wrote a retarded song about it, but can't we just send her there. Against her will. Just look at the random-stuff-free picture below. I doubt that the suspicious white powder on her sleeve is talcum powder. It could be, but if I were a betting man, I'd say that would be cocaine.

This chick is all kinds of fucked up.

American Apparel French Ad

The French are naturally crazy. American Apparel is a clothing company known for it's borderline soft-core risque ad campaigns. So, what happens when the French and American Apparel smack into each other. Well, the above should be the answer. Not only is there a blatant (but I wouldn't say unwelcome) boobie flash, but if you continue to study the picture (pervert) you're also subjected to a pretty intense camel-toe. Touche French people, touche.

Eva Mendes PETA Campaign

PETA often recruits celebrities for their anti-fur campaigns, and they recently tapped Eva Mendes (and her ass) to join in their tree-hugging efforts. I do have to say that the ad itself is effective in making me forget all about my plans to head out this winter to celebrate my annual clubbing of baby seals. But only for a minute.

Jack Bauer in Glendale Jail

Keifer Sutherland started his jail sentence just a couple of days ago, and they threw him in the Glendale City Jail. Now, we've seen Jack Bauer escape from prisons and tight spots in the past on "24", but escaping from Glendale might prove to be his most difficult assignment yet. Take it from someone that left Glendale, only to end up working there for the past couple of years, to once again leaving Glendale . . . hopefully for good. Glendale is a tough bitch to shake. And you'll never feel clean once you leave. I still have Glendale flashbacks now.

Alicia Keys Wears Interesting Pants

Alicia Keys went to an awards show in Barcelona, Spain, wearing pants that look like they came with a built in camel-toe to help cement her claim that she's not manly at all. There's no penis in that crotch. I mean, come on, with a camel-toe like that, how could there be? Right? I'm not fooled though. Sure, sometimes Alicia Keys looks feminine, but she's not getting by this easily. I don't care if those pants make it look like her vagina is trying to eat her pants. I'll still be skeptical. One more picture, for the camel-toe enthusiasts.

Hillary Clinton's Anti-Cookie Platform

I'm not really up to date with all of the political what-not that's going on right now as America ramps up for the 2008 Presidential election, so I've never seen Hillary Clinton say anything about cookies. These kids on the other hand, did notice, and decided to take action. And why not? Cookies are fucking delicious. What is wrong with Hillary Clinton! Fuck that bitch. I'm sure Barak Obama loves a good cookie. Plus, his name's way cooler. Like he's a Klingon or something.

Walk Hard PSA

I don't know if this clip from the upcoming movie "Walk Hard" is for or against the use of marijuana. But, after watching it, I kinda want some. Damn you Hollywood! Quit it with your super-liminal messages!

Amy Winehouse is Stylin'

I guess it takes a certain style sensibility to walk around in a pair of jeans and a bra that I don't have. Not that I would wear a bra to begin with. My man-cans are not all that well developed. But, that's not really relevant. Amy Winehouse, on the other hand, does have that style going on, but she adds another layer to it by looking like a homeless zombie in the process. She could, with a little movie-magic make-up, actually be dropped into any movie George A. Romero might be directing right now and she would fit right in. Instead of brains or human flesh, she might be seeking drugs, but she does have the zombie look down. One more picture to haunt your nightmares.

Box Office Report - Enchanting Holiday Medieval Awakening Assassins

Enchanted - I'm pretty sure that I am experiencing what some might describe as "deja vu". Wasn't this movie #1 last weekend as well? Nothing good opened this weekend? Is everyone pre-occupied with buying presents around this time of the year? I know I was, which is why I didn't catch anything on the big screen this weekend.

This Christmas - OK, the deja vu is getting worse. This was the 2nd movie in the top five last week as well right? So, whatever I said about this last week applies to this movie this week.

Beowulf - Was this the #3 movie last weekend as well. This is fucked up. Now I have nothing to say about this either. It's like Hollywood is playing a mean trick on me. Why do you toy with my emotions Hollywood!

Awake - Ah, finally, a movie that wasn't in the countdown last weekend. I was beginning to think that there would be nothing original in this entry whatsoever. Thank you Hayden Christiansen/Jessica Alba movie about people not being put under anesthesia properly. Who cares if you're good or not, you've breathed fresh air into this post.

Hitman - I would want to watch this if I had played all of the "Hitman" games on one of the various gaming consoles it was released on. But . . . I didn't, and apart from liking Timothy Olyphant as an actor, not just because he has a cool name, there's really not much that interests me at all. I heard about the Russian super-hotty that spends most of the movie in different stages of undress, but that's what I have Showtime cable channels for. So, I might buy this on DVD if I'm feeling like getting something that requires no mental activity whatsoever.