Disturbia - The number one movie in the country is a somewhat unofficial remake of a Christopher Reeves starring remake of a Hitchcock'ian classic? There is nothing original anymore. But, at least it knocks down the reigning Will Ferrell movie du jour, so it can't be all that bad.
Blades of Glory - Former top spot box office dominator gets knocked down a peg, but it still doesn't hurt its numbers. Are there really no other movies to watch that this movie still rakes in a considerable amount of dough? I mean, making 14 million this time of the year, is like having a so-so opening weekend take. But this movie has been around for a solid 3 weeks. And you all could have gone to watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
Meet the Robinsons - I have not met the Robinsons, nor do I want to meet them. I'm pretty tired of the Chicken Littles and other Pixar knock-offs. Disney, give it a rest. You're looking a little on the desperate side. Like a girlfriend that would give up the poop-chute just so that her on the verge of leaving boyfriend sticks around for maybe another couple of nights. Seriously, retain your dignity.
Perfect Stranger - Halle Berry has an Oscar right? Bruce Willis is a pretty good action movie actor . . . so, what are they both doing in this piece of crap movie that should have gone straight to video? The answer to that would be as complicated as trying to explain to your dog that it shouldn't pee on your carpets. No matter how much you try to reason with it, there will still be a pet-stain on your rug by the end of the day.
Are We Done Yet? - This movie has a question mark in it's title, which really should be a question unto it's own. And what is that question? Why the hell would you drag your kids to this movie? Do you really want them to shut up for an hour and a half that bad? Didn't child services warn you about child-abuse already? God, kids have it rough these days.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters came in at #13 with a profitable 3 million take. Which, is pretty good considering it opening in limited release, and the budget for it must not have passed the $100,000 mark. Trust me, I watched it this weekend. While it was the definition of "random", it wasn't high-budget material. Thoroughly enjoyable though. I think this will make some decent cash on DVD.
Showing posts with label Perfect Stranger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Perfect Stranger. Show all posts
Monday, April 16, 2007
Friday, April 13, 2007
Opening Weekend Movies - 4/13/07
Disturbia - Shia LeBouf stars in this movie, which I'm pretty sure is a Hitchcock movie remake, but instead of the main character being immobilized by a broken leg in a cast, he's under house arrest and has a tracking device on his leg. That, and everyone is young. Except for the killer. Because killers are always old, and tend to give Dr. House a terrible time if he leaves a thermometer up their ass.
Pathfinder - Vikings discovered America way before Christopher Columbus stumbled upon the Caribbean on his way to Asia. This would make "Pathfinder" a documentary then. Which I'm just guessing won't make as much money because Karl Urban is not Al Gore or Michael Moore. But, wouldn't this movie be that much better if you could see either one of those don viking armor and start going medieval on some asses? Yeah, why doesn't Hollywood get all their ideas from me.
Perfect Stranger - Halle Berry works in an ad agency as a mousy office worker who finds out her boss is evil. Wasn't this the plot for "Catwoman" as well? Berry just got her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I'm wondering if it's for "Most retarded movie roles after winning an Oscar" category.
Redline - Eddie Griffin crashed a fake Ferrari to promote this movie. So you know it has to be good. Cars and racing . . . and I'm guessing chicks? Is this the next installment in the Fast and the Furious franchise? "Fast and the Furious - European Extreme"? Who cares. If this makes money (2nd or 3rd in the top five) this weekend, I'm taking a sledgehammer to the next Lamborghini I see.
Slow Burn - Never heard of it. Could be possibly good, or possibly bad. With a name like that, and starring Ray Liotta, it could just be a movie about something . . . burning slowly. The synopsis I read said something about a gang lord, a "beautiful" assistant D.A. and a robots in disguise. Wait a minute. Something doesn't fit here.
In Selected Theaters
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters - I will hunt down this movie this weekend. Most likely Sunday, which has become my new movie night. But, who wouldn't want to see Meatwad, Frylock and Master Shake for more than 15 minutes at a time. This will be comedy gold. Look for this movie. It's low budget, poorly animated, and just wrong in every way. Which is why, it's so right. Plus, they have the best movie title out this weekend. I mean, who else spells out punctuation? See, nobody. Watch this, or you're just another nerd. And you know what happens to nerds. They get their pants pulled down and they are spanked with moon rocks. Don't let that happen to you.
Pathfinder - Vikings discovered America way before Christopher Columbus stumbled upon the Caribbean on his way to Asia. This would make "Pathfinder" a documentary then. Which I'm just guessing won't make as much money because Karl Urban is not Al Gore or Michael Moore. But, wouldn't this movie be that much better if you could see either one of those don viking armor and start going medieval on some asses? Yeah, why doesn't Hollywood get all their ideas from me.
Perfect Stranger - Halle Berry works in an ad agency as a mousy office worker who finds out her boss is evil. Wasn't this the plot for "Catwoman" as well? Berry just got her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I'm wondering if it's for "Most retarded movie roles after winning an Oscar" category.
Redline - Eddie Griffin crashed a fake Ferrari to promote this movie. So you know it has to be good. Cars and racing . . . and I'm guessing chicks? Is this the next installment in the Fast and the Furious franchise? "Fast and the Furious - European Extreme"? Who cares. If this makes money (2nd or 3rd in the top five) this weekend, I'm taking a sledgehammer to the next Lamborghini I see.
Slow Burn - Never heard of it. Could be possibly good, or possibly bad. With a name like that, and starring Ray Liotta, it could just be a movie about something . . . burning slowly. The synopsis I read said something about a gang lord, a "beautiful" assistant D.A. and a robots in disguise. Wait a minute. Something doesn't fit here.
In Selected Theaters
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters - I will hunt down this movie this weekend. Most likely Sunday, which has become my new movie night. But, who wouldn't want to see Meatwad, Frylock and Master Shake for more than 15 minutes at a time. This will be comedy gold. Look for this movie. It's low budget, poorly animated, and just wrong in every way. Which is why, it's so right. Plus, they have the best movie title out this weekend. I mean, who else spells out punctuation? See, nobody. Watch this, or you're just another nerd. And you know what happens to nerds. They get their pants pulled down and they are spanked with moon rocks. Don't let that happen to you.
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