Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Tyra - Breast Examinator


I made a little joke in my previous post dealing with Jennifer Love Hewitt's boobs about Tyra and breast exams. In case you are a shut-in who only comes to this website for their news about the world and such (if you do . . . then you're probably a Panda Software employee . . . zing!), then you would have been sitting there, scratching your head wondering what the hell I was talking about. This video above is what I was making a reference to. Tyra Banks cops a feel at Katharine McPhee's boobs. Which are apparently real. I don't know. You can take Tyra's word for it. She squeezed them. But then, she would have to tell you about it herself, and how she overcame obstacles that no other woman in the world could to catch a feel of the American Idol contestants titties. And then, she'd somehow throw in how it's only appropriate that it would happen during Black History Month, and that she she be up there along with Rosa Parks and Dr. Martin Luther King.

Fuck you Tyra.

HDH - Jennifer Love Hewitt


I really did not think it would come to this one day. Jennifer Love Hewitt really hasn't been on my radar for quite some time, and her recent "inspired by another successful television drama" television series does not really appeal to me. But then, she showed up at The Oscars looking like this, and all of the sudden, I'm thinking I want to see more of Jennifer Love Hewitt . . . well, specifically . . . her boobs. I mean, look at those things. That's either great genes (with the aid of the latest push-up bra technology) or great plastic surgery. Whatever it is, I'm seeing Jennifer Love Hewitt in a new light. A humpable light that is.

Where's Tyra Banks when you need a real-breast exam?

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

TuGMO - Jeans Make-Out


It's Tuesday again, and my court-appointed posting duties (court? what court??) for girls making out need to be fulfilled. So, here are two European chicks, making out in denim. You know, the world would be a better place if more of this were on display.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Search Terms - Monday is Make-Up Day

There have been changes lately to my schedule and my internet access while earning my pay, so this is why today, Monday, I felt it was time to catch up on everything I missed out on doing last week. Like last Thursday's "Search Terms" post, which is appearing today. Along with the "Musically Inclined Mondays" which is back on track. And to tell you the truth, this list is fairly incomplete. But it still gives you a little bit of an idea as to how and why most of you end up here.

Morgan Webb wardrobe malfunction - Google Search
emma watson nude fakes - BlogSearch AU
lindseylohan wardrobe malfunction - Google Search
fall out boy pete crotch - Google Search CA
figure skating nipple slip - Google Search
britney spears upskirt - Technorati Search
bianca gascoigne no underwear photos - Google Search UK
"snow urinal" - Google Search
emma watson nude - Ask.com Search
Kristen Stewart nipple slip - Google Search
kim kardashian sex tape - BlogSearch
Daniel Radcliffe - BlogSearch
gymnast panty slip pictures - Google Search UK
Upskirt Scarlett Johansen - AOL Search
shawn ashmore tiny penis - Google Search CA
"Emma Watson bikini" - Google Search
janet jackson and papparazi - Google Search CA
amanda bynes nip slip - Google Search AU
"Emma Watson feet" - Google Search BR
jennifer aniston break up - MSN Live Search UK
gag factor hermione - Google Search NL
girl nude photo - BlogSearch
jennifer aniston topless pictures - MSN Live Search
brazilian blogspot girls - BlogSearch
bianca gascoigne boobs - Google Search UK
google.nude movie - Google Search
emma watson "crotch shot" - Yahoo Search
Keely Hazel - Ask.com Search
Katherine Heigl - Vonango Search
gascoigne upskirt - BlogScope Search
kim kardashian movie nl - Google Search HR
"sextape ray j" - Google Search DE
posh upskirt - Google Search
ray j sextape mpegs - Google Search
1/2 hour news hour - BlogSearch
daniel radcliffe size - BlogSearch
sal a - BlogSearch
scientology blogspot - BlogSearch
turning japanese kelly screencaps - Google Search
bianca gascoigne slip - Google Search UK
cortana naked from halo Hentai - Google Search
upskirt scans from television - Google Search
Eva Longoria Camel toe. - AltaVista Search
"Daniel Radcliffe" naked penis size - Google Search CA
olsen twins papparazi shots - Google Search PH
dan radcliff nude images - AltaVista Search
anna farris panties - Google Search
"fuck you ikon" - Google Search
Interwebs® Daniel Radcliffe butt - Google Search
Dan Webb Wedgie - Google Search CA
Jennifer Aniston Topless - MSN Live Search
Mpeg movie clip of Rose McGowan in Going All the Way - Google Search
"Anna Farris" "whipped cream" - Google Search CA
foxy boxing wmv - Google Search HU
kim kardashian full sex tape - BlogSearch UK
Rachel McAdams panties - Google Search
"pete wentz" "jacking" - Google Search
bianca gascoigne hairy - Google Search UK
dan radcliffe cock shot - Google Search
aniston nipple - BlogSearch
grace park cameltoe - Google Search
ciera nude slip - Google Search
lindsay lohan without pant* - Google Search AU
cold war kids hospital beds mp3 - BlogSearch
rachel farris nude - Google Search
palmer cash ripoff - Google Search
girl nude "first internet video" - Google Search
Katharine McAfee topless - AOL Search
Kick Out The Chairs mp3 - BlogSearch
radcliffe fully nude pennis - Google Search ES
emma watson nip peek - Google Search CA
underage nip slip - Google Search
katherine mcphee boner - Google Search
nipple slips, pussy slips - BlogSearch
"king colon" aqua teen movie - Google Search
emma watson real upskirt sexy panties - Google Search MX
Rachel Weisz's panty - Google Search IN

Musically Inclined Mondays - Peter Bjorn & John


I just recently came across "Peter Bjorn & John" while traversing the interwebs for new music to listen to. I don't know much about them, but what I know I am really digging. This "Young Folks" track is infectuously good. I can't help but scan through my iPod shuffle to find it whenever I'm out and about. If you have a Shuffle, then you can imagine how hard this can be. But it's worth it. So, today, you're not only getting that track, but another one from a live show they did. If you think stuff is lost in translation from produced to live music, this would not be the case with this band. Check out the downloads. You won't be disappointed.

Young Folks - Peter Bjorn & John
Paris 2004 (Live) - Peter Bjorn & John

Mischa Barton Will get the Munchies


Maybe then she will stop looking like a stick figure in a potato sack every where she goes. Yeah, that's not a cigarette she's puffing on. It's some good ol' wacky tabaccky. Now, if we can get all of these super skinny Hollywood starlets to get off their steady diet of cocaine, and get them to start smoking more pot . . . then we can get some of those curves back. Lead by example Mischa. You're like the 21st century's Rosa Parks.

EDIT


See, already Hollywood is falling in line with the new pot-smoking manifesto. Here you have Drew Barrymore passing a joint to Cameron Diaz. While in their bikinis in Hawaii. Maybe it's some of that "Maui Wow'ee", or whatever the kids are calling it these days.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Badass Mutha 4000 - Twice as Fast as Your Ass


If you are a fan of the "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" show on Cartoon Network, you should know where that quote comes from. If you aren't, that's fine. They have a movie coming out which should enlighten you. I got the above picture from the King Colon website, which you should definitely visit for all of the ATHF news and release dates.

You can also check out one of my previous posts here which has the trailer in YouTube format.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Hills Have Eyes 2 Theatrical Trailer


If you were left thirsting for more after the first teaser trailer for "The Hills Have Eyes 2", then you're not alone. While the whole dragged POV shot was interesting, it didn't tell me much about the story. So, the fine folks over at Fox Atomic, who are bringing us the next installment of this remake, have produced a new theatrical trailer for your viewing pleasure. That is, if you like radioactively mutated inbred monsters who like to rape and torture their victims. Yeah, thought you might be into that. Especially if you ended up here with the "Emlie de Ravin rape scene" search on Google. You dirty fucks.


Emilie de Ravin is not in this installment, even though she did end up surviving the first one. Actually, no one from the first movie seems to be in this one, and all the mutants seem to be brand spanking new. From what I can tell from the trailer, our unlucky protagonists are U.S. National Guard soldiers running some training exercises who run into the murderous freaks. Another reason why you really shouldn't volunteer to be in the National Guard. Not only do they sometimes send you to Iraq, but your weekend a month could end up bad in a really twisted way. Visit the following movie site to check out the trailer and be sure to check out this movie in March when it comes out.

Training Post (With Added Bonus)

So, my training has commenced with the new company I am now working for, and it's going pretty great actually. I learned today, that since the majority of my shift is after 5:00 PM, I automatically get a 10% raise right off the bat. So, while I was a little on the worried side that I would be making a little less than when I was with Panda Software, it ends up being that now I make more. Score. And the training so far isn't even all that challenging. I'm sure that as time progresses (6 whole weeks worth of time) things will start getting a little more complicated. But right now, I'm enjoying easy-street.

A little interesting sidenote. We were doing an exercise to help us learn each other's names. We would start at the beginning, say the person's name and then what they would have brought to a picnic that starts with the first letter of their names. For example, "My name is Jaime and I'll be bringing Jack Daniel's to the picnic". So, as we go around the room, we have to say everyone's name and what they said they would bring to this hypothetical picnic. The things they came up with were bizarre to say the least. I won't go through the entire list, but there was a ton of booze, a monkey, and some guy's nuts. I kid you not. This group of people is strange and I like that.

All in all, a pretty good day. I learned I won't really be able to go online . . . at all . . . while I'm working. Which is fine. I've been abusing this at every other job I had. I don't think I've ever told you about the perverted boss that had me downloading pornography for him on my computer so his wife, who also worked in the office, wouldn't find out. So, yeah, as far as internet goes, I've had it pretty unrestricted. I think this has really affected my work ethic and I'm glad this place is regimenting me so that I can treat this more as a career path rather than some place I go for 8 hours and get paid for it. I didn't expect this to ever happen, this change in me, but I'm guessing it's for the better. And now that I have the new MacBook at home, blogging won't be a problem. I have all morning long to blog.

Oh, and the bonus I was talking about . . . . 1000 post!! I didn't think this would ever happen. Most people post once a day. It's taking me under two years to reach this milestone. And, my Sitemeter tells me that I've accumulated 100,000+ unique visitors with close to 150,000+ page views. Thank you everyone for coming back after you didn't find the pictures of (insert celebrity name here) doing (insert lewd or lascivious act here) with a (insert inprobable sexual aide). I really appreciate it.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Resident Evil: Extinction - Trailer


I'll be the first to admit that the "Resident Evil" movies are not the best or ground breaking when it comes to the zombie genre, but I won't deny that I own the first two movies on DVD . . . and that I didn't go to the theaters to watch the first two. Don't judge me. I really like zombie movies. Even the bad ones. And this one . . . doesn't look like it will change many's opinions on the quality that these movies put on the table.


So, what can we expect from this new Resident Evil outing? Well, you got your typical Milla Jovovich kicking ass in a very acrobatical style. Some decent shoot outs. And, of course, your requisite zombie madness. Will this make lots of money? Probably not. Will it be an hour and a half of fun times that requires all higher brain functions to be completely turned off? You betcha. Check out this Yahoo! Movies page for the trailer. I personally suggest the Quicktime version . . . but I guess you could run the trailer on your "fancy" Vista machine's Windows Media Player. If you're a masochist.

TuGMO - Gray Matters


This week's Tuesday Girl Make-Out (so that's where the TuGMO comes from) comes courtesy of the upcoming film "Gray Matters". And what is this movie about? Who cares. It has Heather Graham and Bridget Moynahan making out like two liquored up college girls on spring break. Which, is fine by me. Oh, and by the way, Heather Graham and I share the same reaction to whenever Bridget Moynahan makes out with us. I mean, how does she keep tricking me into it. Damn Hollywood actresses. I keep telling her I'm married but they just don't take no for an answer.

In my dreams.

Monday, February 19, 2007

New Job Disclaimer

I start my new job tomorrow with one of America's largest (finest is still up to debate) financial instutions. No more technical support issues for me. What awaits is 6 weeks of what I can assume will be some sort of intensive training. Do I need it? I don't know. Possibly. Whatever the case, I want to go into my new position with all the preparation that I might need. Why do I bring this up? Well, in the past, my jobs have been pretty lax on internet policies. I was pretty much able to run around and do whatever the hell I wanted to. Production was never a problem, so my direct supervisors always let it slide that I was blogging on the job.

With this new job, I don't think this will be the case . . . until I find my niche. My little comfort zone which will allow me the internet creature comforts I have become so accustomed to. So, this might mean that posts are not going to be made 3 - 5 times a day like in the past few weeks. I've been on a veritable blogging binge as of late, so expect that to cool off. I will still be able to post something in the morning. My new shift starts at noon every day, so I can let you guess at what time I get out of work. Hint . . . it's not that early.

So, I wish I could say that's why the "Musically Inclined Mondays" is not up . . . but, no. I'm just lazy. And . . . it's President's Day. Gotta respect the holiday. Which I have, by sitting around in my underpants playing XBOX 360 all day long. Where's the wife you ask? Oh, the horrors of retail sales. She's getting close ending another day of work over at the national electronic goods purveyor chain, at which point, she will come home so we can watch some "Heroes" TiVo'd.

So, what was this about? Oh yeah, explanations and excuses. Got it? Good.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Nipple-Topia - Jennifer Aniston


"The Break-Up" is not a movie I saw. I don't like Jennifer Aniston and, personally, I think that Vince Vaughn was just going through a period of booze-induced myopia when he was banging her on the set. Hey, we all have our dubious sexual conquests. This shot of Aniston's nipples comes from the full screen version of the DVD release. So, finally, a reason that justifies my continued insistence on buying widescreen DVD's.

A special thanks goes out to Egotastic.com for finding this, so that all of you man-faced chick lovers can enjoy. Those who do not enjoy the Jennifer Man-iston picture, you should all head out there and beat him up.

EDIT: It seems that Jennifer Aniston's legal team has sprung into action and has systematically erased any traces of this from the interweb. The sites that had the picture up either had an "edit" like this one, or the post was completely gone. I wonder why the picture of Jennifer Aniston topless somehow "violates" their terms, but Denise Richard's loose vagina lips are OK.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Therapy for Isaiah Washington


If you haven't been following the "Faggot-gate" issue over with the cast of ABC's "Grey's Anatomy" . . . don't feel too bad about it. All you missed was Isaiah Washington calling T.R. Knight a "faggot" and prematurely outing the then closeted actor. So, he went to rehab. Gay-bashing rehab. In what would only be described as "Clockwork Orange-ish", I'm guessing this is what he was subjected to, projected on a giant screen with his eyeballs taped open.

It's weirdly coincidental that the "artist" behind this, a guy who calls himself "Samwell", looks oddly similar to the gay-hating Washington. But then again, God works in mysterious ways.

Will I Miss This?

Me: Thank you for calling Panda Software, may I have your client number?
Caller: Where would I find that?
Me: You can find that in the e-mail that you received from Customer Service. It came along with your user name and password information.
Caller: Let me see if I can find that.
(a couple of minutes pass by in complete silence)
Me: Ma'am, maybe I can use the e-mail address you issued to us during registration to find your account.
Caller: Oh, OK. Where would I find that?
Me: Where would you find your e-mail address? You should know that ma'am.
Caller: Oh, my e-mail address. It's . . . .

This happens more often than I am willing to admit. Some people should just be Amish.

Grindhouse Official Final Trailer


I've said it before, and I'll say it again. "Grindhouse" is one of maybe two or three movies I'm actually excited about this year. This, along with "Hot Fuzz" and "Spider-Man 3" (to a slightly lesser extent) are what I know for a fact that I will actually pay box office money for. And why wouldn't anyone want to watch this movie. It's got a sweet fake trailer starring Danny Trejo. That alone is worth the ten bucks. That mofo is hardcore.


But it's not just my love for trailers that is going to be putting my ass on the seat there. You see, "Grindhouse" is two movies packed into one. Over 2 1/2 hours of exploitation-style cinematic wonders. Robert Rodriguez's half of the bill, titled "Planet Terror", deals with zombies and Rose McGowan as an amputee with a brand new prosthetic leg . . . that shoots bullets and grenades.


And then, there's the Quentin Tarantino half of the movie, which stars Kurt Russell as a stunt man with a "Death Proof" car . . . if you're in the driver's seat that is. Chances are, he doesn't really let anyone else drive that car. Check out the trailer in Quicktime and Windows Media formats over at this Yahoo Movies page and mark your calendars.

Girl Fight Fridays - Whoomp her What?


Encouragement can be rewarding sometimes. Like knowing someone is backing you up no matter what. Whether it's at a job, at home, or when you're beating a mouthy bitch up. What can get a little weird is when that encouragement crosses the line a little. I'm not talking about convincing your friend to get into a fight with another chick over a boy, what someone said, or because she's wearing the same top as you (the most grievous of offenses) . . . but egging her on to "whoomp her asshole" might be a little over the top, or bottom in this case. "Beat her ass" would have sufficed. Or "quit swinging like a little bitch and fight for crying out loud!". That would have worked too.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Dodging the Training Bullet

I forgot to mention earlier during my ex-employer (as of tomorrow) rant about how I expertly dodged their "Hat Training" for the better part of a year. That, I can count as one of my great triumphs while being employed by them. Now, I was a bit leery when I heard that this company was using the L. Ron Hubbard Business Management model, but I thought it was just the way they ran the business, not that they wanted to impose this on their employees.

So, there's been this cat and mouse game with the training people and me. Most of it has been pretty low key, and I actually attended one class, which felt like a slap in the face to intelligence. But new hires have to go through this "training" which isn't actually relevant to the job they're performing. Say, someone starting a tech support position would still have to do this "hat training", even though there's no actual tech-training involved. It's more like on-the-job behavioral modification. A sort of brain-washing if you will.

And the effect that it has on people that go through it is fairly palpable. It would seem that they are encouraged to write and then distribute an e-mail to all staff as to how "enjoyable" the training was and how much this is going to help them not just at work, but in their every day lives. They're not fooling me though. I know that these pod-people employees have been modified by this crazy Scientology training. I'm not having any part of it.

The creepy headmaster of the program stopped by my cubbyhole this morning and, after actually noticing that I wasn't the guy he was looking for, told me that he wished me luck on my new position. It's kind of weird that he would not know who I was one minute, but then somehow knew the next. I could tell that running around in his brain was the same thought: "Damn, this one got away!". I sure did Creepy.

I sure did.

FOX News Channel Faking It


Fake news shows are one of my favorite types of programming. Sure, they usually skew liberal, but they're smartly written and thoroughly enjoyable. Just watch "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" or "The Colbert Report". Great satire laced with sarcasm and terrificly written (not like this last sentence). And then the FOX News Channel made an attempt at cooking up the same recipe. Too bad they completely fail at being funny and actually come across as hating black people (confirmed to hate at least one black person) in the process. Is this what happens when Republicans make fun of Democrats and Liberals? The "The 1/2-Hour News Hour" just looks like crap, and apparently they can only make 1 person laugh. Seriously, what's with that guy. Is that Bill O'Reilly laughing in the audience? Could be Rush Limbaugh.

Search Terms - Your Weekly Search Dump

This week has been a little light on the search term reporting I undertake every week. I've been busy, making moves, filing out paperwork and generally spending money instead of making money. But, here it is nonetheless, ready for your perusal or accidental visit because of the contents found within. Teehee.

lindsay lohan "without slip" - Google Search
kim kardashian mpeg - Google Search
hollywood actress evangeline lilly boob slip galleries - Google Search IN
emma watson, nip slip - Google Search DE
*emma watson paparazzi pics* - Google Search DE
Emilie de Ravin bra size - Google Search
Kim Kardashian wmv - Google Search AU
lily allen boob slip - Google Search
bumu boots - Google Search
morgan webb boobs - Google Search
kardashian mpg - Google Search FI
britneys muff shots - Google Search
kim Kardashian, nipples - Google Search
KIM Kardashian sextape video - BlogSearch
winona ryder - BlogSearch
Britney Spears - Swicki Search
emma watson nude fakes - BlogSearch
"Avril Lavigne" - BlogSearch
katherine mcphee butt - Google Search
"eva green" mpg - Google Search UK
adam corolla - AltaVista Search
sharon stone crotch nipples - Google Search
"kim kardashian" sex tape .wmv - Google Search
katherine heigl mpeg - Google Search
Pete Wentz penis nude - Google Search CA
see Kim Kardashian full tape here - BlogSearch
britney lindsay muff shots - Google Search CA
pete wentz crotch slip - Google Search
Kim Kardashian blogspot tape - BlogSearch
Bianca Gascoigne flashing - Google Search UK
kim kardashian pee - Google Search
kimberly kardashian - Google Search SE
mariah carey boob size - Google Search
jamie blogspot+bafw - Google Search
radcliffe cock - Google Search UK
gag factor hermione - Google Search CA
movie actress emilie de ravin fucked in the hills have eyes - Yahoo Search
jennifer aniston nipples - BlogSearch
Radcliffe pennis - Google Search ES
Jennifer Aniston - Google Search CA
aniston - BlogSearch
girl talk - BlogSearch
daniel radcliffe cock size - Google Search
pissing blogs - AlltheWeb Search
lauren london nip slip - AOL Search
katherine heigl boob size - Google Search
"Jennifer Morrison" nipslip - Google Search
eva longoria camel toe - AltaVista Search
pics of naked daniel radcliff - Yahoo Search
bianca gascoigne vagina - Google Search IE
fran drescher (nipple slip).mpg - Google Search DE
paparazzi photo actress forbidden nude - Google Search FR
gretchen upskirts - Yahoo Search
chick fights - BlogSearch
Eva Green Have sexual intercourse - Google Search CN
Kim Kardashian, sex video, trailer captures - BlogSearch
kim kardashian .mpg wont open - Google Search
jennifer aniston blogs - BlogSearch
jenny mccarthy dark pubes - Google Search
Lindsay Lohan's pussy slip.wmv - Google Search
eva green nude labia - Google Search
american idol sexy photos nude nip slips wardrobe malfunction - Google Search
fall out boys exposed penis - Google Search
bianca gascoigne sextape - Google Search
bianca gascoigne flashing pussy - Google Search UK
Sienna Miller Sex .wmv - Google Search PL
lindsay lohan crotch shot kids choice - Google Search
stacy ferguson nipple slip - Google Search
emma watson and daniel radcliffe in love - BlogSearch
Katherine McPhee underwear mpeg - Google Search
jessica simpson nipple - BlogSearch
eva mendes nipple slips - IceRocket Search
Cortana Hentai Pictures - Google Search
natalie portman upskirt v - Google Search
jaime - BlogSearch
blogs are for wusses - Google Search
paparazzi photos of daniel radcliffe - Google Search CA
evangeline lilly upskirt - Google Search
water park nip slips - Google Search
ipod-shuffle - BlogSearch
PICTURES OF KEELY HAZEL HAVING SEX - Yahoo Search
montezuma's revenge - BlogSearch

The End of an Era

My time at Panda Software USA is almost at hand. Yeah, that's where I have been working for since Earthlink decided it would be a good idea to send their Accounts Receivable department to India. While I can say that the people I met while working here at Panda have been quality folks, and I will miss them on occasion, I can't say that I will miss the actual job and the upper management structure that it set up. They just don't know how to take care of the employee.

I don't want to say anything bad about them . . . but they're witless morons, much akin to a chicken running around with its head cut-off. Except, this chicken is trying to sell you an anti-virus product at the same time. Disorganized? Hell yes. Totally unaware of how to wrestle away a piece of the market that Norton and McAfee capitalize on . . . absofuckinglutely. And do they know how to keep morale up while they try to squeeze production out of their workers? What's morale? I can tell you that I actually make less now, than when I started working here. How does that work? That's the miracle of mis-management.

And this is how it works (looks like my "not wanting to talk bad about them" is not working out very well). Panda had a great set up when I first started working here. They had monthly and yearly bonuses set up based on sales. They even gave me a raise 3 months into my tenure here. It was a small "Cost of Living" increase, which they said they would do every year, which helped. Then, the changes started coming. I got a promotion in May of 2006, which came with more responsibilities, harder work, etc. Panda said, wait 90 days, and your raise will come through. It's now the middle of February of 2007. That raise? That never happened. They tell me it was finally going to go through 3 paychecks ago, but that has yet to materialize. And I don't expect it to.

On top of that, I got a second promotion about a month ago, which came with even more responsibilities, and another promise of an increase in pay. But they're all empty promises to me. Even if they did come through with the original raise, I would still have to wait God knows how long until the 2nd raise came through. At least 90 days. If I'm lotto-winner lucky. Which I'm not.

Then, those nifty bonuses went the way of the Dodo. So, that nice extra 100 bucks a month went away. We did get a bonus at the beginning of 2006, for excellent sales in 2005. And it was substantial. There was only one problem. There was a little fudging on the actual wording that we were told and what we ultimately received. At the time that they established, the sum of the bonus was going to be "post-taxes". So, the bonus we were working towards, the actual amount that we were told, was actual money that we would get. The time comes around when it's time to give out the bonus, and we get a florid-worded letter from the President congratulating us on our hard work and letting us know that the amount we were going to get was pre-tax. So, that screwed us out of some money. Then, they told us to wait until March of 2006 to get our end of the year 2005 bonus money. We waited. March came around, and they let us know that we were going to get it in installments. Kind of a lay-a-way program if you will. So, for the next two and a half months, we got a slow trickle of bonus money.

Then, Panda decided that it would be a good idea to save on their medical plan. They touted this as savings across the board, for everyone. People that were paying for family members would pay less. At the time I didn't have to pay for my wife's health plan. This, would also change. While the company saved 30 grand/year on the plan, I started (and I believe I was the only one that suffered under this new change) paying 75 bucks every paycheck for something that I had not been paying for before. So that contributed to me making less money than when I actually started. It's ridiculous really. Not even the help of the HR department, who tried to get me a dollar raise to offset the cost helped. The proposal got shot down. Thank you upper management. You really sealed my loyalty there (please note the pungent sting of sarcasm in that last sentence).

Remember that cost of living raise I got at the beginning of the year in 2006. It mysteriously disappeared as well for 2007. Oh, and 401K matching also became extinct as far as Panda is concerned. Sure, you can still defer a certain percentage of your bi-weekly paycheck, but now they don't match a certain percent of it. Which is a total mistake. I can't really think of one successful company that doesn't do that. So even when it comes to retirement, they don't have my back.

You think that a company would want to keep its one and only Spanish-speaking retail technical support agent happy. Not the case here. It feels like they have done pretty much everything possible to force me to get a new job. I feel bad, on a very minute level, for the guys here in tech support who will have to deal with Spanish-speaking customers. Panda has systematically shot itself in the foot. And it's not a process that started and ended with me. There were 3 Spanish-speaking employees that left before me, and not by their own volition. They were fired. Good people too. One of them was "The Sal". Which pissed me off immensely, because they let him go just as I was going to get my referral bonus for getting him hired. $500 down the drain. I'm not mad at The Sal for that. But all of these things contributed to my decision.

Tuesday I start training for my new job. Where is it at? Well, I don't like to divulge where I'm working while I'm working there, so let's say it's one of America's largest financial institutions. I just hope that come 2008, I'm not writing a long post about how they have mistreated me. I'm sure that's not going to happen (crossing fingers), but if they do, rest assured it will be posted here.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Techno-Addiction - MacBook


It was bound to happen. My old G3 iBook (nearly 4 1/2 years old) was in bad shape. So, the hell with bills and debt. We went out to the Apple Store in Pasadena and picked up this baby for a pretty penny (actual amount of pennies with-held) and a free printer after mail-in rebate. Sure, I could have waited until I actually had the money to buy one of these, but screw waiting. I had been dealing with a screen on a laptop that lasted a minute tops before it became a garbled mess of greens and purples. It actually looked like I had somehow tapped into "The Matrix". So, I bit the credit card bullet and plunked down for this sweet computer. Tech-specs for the geeks as follow:

2 Ghz Intel Core 2 Duo
1 GB 667 MHz DDR2 SDRAM
80 GB Hard-Drive
Superdrive (DVD-R/CD-R)
Airport Extreme & Bluetooth
13.3 inch Widescreen display
64 MB of VRAM
2 USB ports & 1 Firewire port
Mac OSX 10.4.8

And it's perfect timing as well, since my days at technical support are numbered (and can be counted with 2 fingers . . . more on that later), my co-workers won't be able to rag on me for not getting a piece of crap PC running Vista. We tend to butt heads when the Apple vs. Windows debate comes up, and I'm usually the only one on my side. Just because I don't want to dry hump the ground Bill Gates walks on. And, I'm blogging 5 minutes after going through the fairly easy to get through set-up. Try that with your PC, bitches.

Girl Fight Fridays - Gel Carnival


This video is freaking awesome. It's got, Brazilian girls in bikinis, a couple of upskirts, wrestling in what would appear to be some sort of water-based lube (think Astroglide), and at one point . . . a chick in a sexy Catholic schoolgirl uniform. It was pretty skimpy though, but remember, this clip comes from Brazilian television. So, it doesn't surprise me. While this is not a fight in your typical sense, and more like a fun-time, I can understand why it's not what you were looking for. But you can't blame me for posting this up today. I mean . . . have you looked at the video? I dare you to find a more boner-inducing fight clip than this one. I have to thank Mark Rogers, Super Guy for posting this up on his blogspot first. Without that, I would have never found this video.

EDIT: The problem with writing posts in advance is that sometimes one forgets to post it up. This was supposed to go up on 1/31/07 . . . but it's showing up 2 weeks late because of an oversight on my part.

tsoL sdrawkcaB


That "Lost" show is back, and even though I thought this particular scene was creepy as fuck the first time around, when you play it backwards, it manages to blow your mind on a way different level. Just check it out, and keep watching out for hidden messages.

St. Valentines - Why?

Why is St. Valentines day considered a holiday? We don't get it off from work. Banks and the Postal Service are still operating. Nothing changes. Just the flower and greeting card industries have a surge of income and then it tapers off until the next year. And who is this St. Valentine anyway? You can read up on it here, but I doubt that in the Roman times, people were giving each other candy and greeting cards on a specific day. Hell, I watch "Rome" all the time on HBO and all they give each other there (because as you know, it's a documentary) is anal-rapings and short-swords to the gut. Doesn't sound all that lovey-dovey to me.

But, every year, women get all excited about it. My wife is expecting a "surprise" of some sort today. I have no idea what I will do. I keep trying to think of different things that we can do together today, but most (if not all) restaurants will be booked and I can't just show up with flowers. Well, maybe I can . . . but that will be expected. Specially if she reads this post.

Oh, funny little anecdote. Ten minutes ago, the early shift here was talking about how Valentines Day was a joke, when I mentioned to them "Well, isn't every day Valentines Day when you're married?" They all laughed, those cynical bastards. I was expecting it though. I haven't been married as long as some of them, and I don't have kids. But that's how it should be. There shouldn't be one mandatory day every year to flex your romantic muscle(s). It should be an all the time thing. And I know I'm personally guilty of not flexing those romantic muscles lately, but when you're a guy who's not all that in touch with his feelings, like myself, it can be hard to do that.

So, in summation. This holiday should be boycotted. Treat your significant other like it's Valentines Day every day and read up on the Wikipedia article to expand on your trivial knowledge of things.

Sexy Gollum? No, that's Ashley Olsen

So, I don't know what makes someone pose for the camera looking like this (to the right), but it's probably the water in Mexico. This must be some weird variation of Montezuma's revenge. She was probably chewing on some ice (because you know how much the Olsen twins love calories) and has been diarreahing it up for 5 days straight . . . which, by the way, is a great way to lose weight . . . and now can't help but walk around like this. Her butthole must be on fire. Which is why, in the picture below, she's trying to get a sea-breeze to cool it off. That's really the only reasonable explanation I can come up with. And since I have a PhD in Knowing it All, I think you should go with what I'm telling you. I can't be wrong, specially if the reader is a woman.


Head on out to The Superficial, who's got a ton of pictures of this. More so than I am willing to swipe from them and post here.

Techno-Addiction - iPod Shuffle

My wife and I bought each other iPod Shuffles for Valentine's Day this past weekend. And yes, we have been using them since. Hey, it's a fake holiday invented by Oprah Winfrey and Hallmark . . . the hell we're going to adhere to the actual date of to give each other our presents. But seriously, who could wait to get their hands on these tiny wonders. I'm listening to my silver one (Heather got the green one . . . because of her Irish pride. No, they did not have a beer-colored one) right now as I write this post, and it makes the time go by much faster while responding to technical support e-mails. It almost makes me want to not punch my computer screen every time I open up a message from another incompetent anti-virus user.

So, tech specs? Um, it holds 1 GB of music. No screen, but that is by design. The iPod Shuffle mixes your music for you and never throws out the same play list twice at you. It is thin, just a little larger than 1/2 of my thumb (it goes from the tip to just past the knuckle) and it is infinitely cooler than anything Creative Labs has to offer. Like I told my associate, Mike V., who moonlights as a rep for them . . . "If this thing had an FM tuner like the ones your company tries to sell, it'd be as big as a beeper. Who needs that?" He just laughed, and called it the Anti-Christ.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

TuGMO - Looks like Softcore


This video is a little soft-core porn'ish . . . but fuck if it isn't one of the sexier videos I've found yet. Sure, the chicks kissing remain clothed for the entire time, but they're groping and writhing in each others arms. And they occasionally massage each other's crotches. That's why I'm posting this. Wanton crotch massaging.

Oh, and I had to get into my "way-back machine" today to make the post show up yesterday. Since I wasn't at work, I was not able to post it. But, if you didn't notice, then forget about it. Seriously, drop it. I do not have a time machine. *wink*

Monday, February 12, 2007

Penny Arcade vs. PS3 - KaChing!

Normally, I have a lot to say when posting, but in this case, the guys over at Penny Arcade have done that for me . . . and they even have photographic evidence. If you want to know what you're getting into, it seems that some high and mighty guy at Sony said he would pay anyone that found a PS3 on a store shelf for more than 5 minutes $1,200. The guys went hunting, and here's the result of their short, but very profitable excursion.

Musically Inclined Mondays - Girl Talk

I don't write very well about music. I think I'm lacking in the adjectives that I use to describe it. So, you know what . . . I'm just going to throw out the links for your downloadable-pleasure. The first one is titled "Bounce That" and it mixes some of my favorite bands of the 90's (The Breeders & Elastica) with Ludachris and Ciera and it's a combination that I did not think would be pleasurable. I was wrong. The 2nd download is a cover of a Grizzly Bear song which mixes in some rapping and actually improves on the mellow tones the original version has. It gets the ass to jiggle and wiggle, which is always fun. Snag these and come back next week, where hopefully I can keep the typing to a minimum and keep the linkage to a maximum.

Bounce That - Girl Talk
Knife - Grizzly Bear (Girl Talk Remix)

Rosie O'Donnell - Bitchasaurus Rex


While I loathe everything about Rosie O'Donnell, you have to realize that I am not a big fan of Anna Nicole Smith. Sure, she was fun to laugh at whenever she was on television, slurring every other syllable . . . but this video of Rosie talking about her aired the day she died on "The View". So, if my super-detective skills are currently turned on (yes, there's a switch) and I put my deductive reasoning/keep the alien signals away tin-foil hat on, I can only come up with one conclusion. Rosie O'Donnell killed Anna Nicole Smith. It's right there in the video. She didn't want to see her anymore on television. I did think her impersonation of Smith was pretty dead on. Ha . . get it. See you in hell Rosie.

Hot Fuzz Internets Trailer Exclusive


For those of you not in the "know", I've had a pretty hard boner for a movie that's coming out this week. It's by the guys who made the incredible "Shaun of the Dead" movie. If you're not counting Romero's work in the zombie genre, then it was the best zombie movie hands down. So, their take on the buddy-cop movie is really piquing my interest something fierce. I've already put up a couple of trailers for the movie, but this one is the "action-filled" internet exclusive, and it does a great job of pumping you up for the flick.


Get your grubby Quicktime-powered mitts on the trailer here and then head over to Aintitcool.com to check out a favorable review of the movie here. How'd they get to see it before it comes out? Magic. And market research. They're like peanut butter and jelly.

EDIT: While the trailer says "Valentines Day" for the release . . . it's not actually happening until April 20th.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Smart-Vertising - Apple Taunts Vista


I love these Apple commercials. I'm just a Mac-geek I guess. And it's not just some un-warranted shot at the process of upgrading Vista. My step-father is thinking about updating his computer so he can run the new operating system and it's most likely going to cost him in the 4 - 5 hundred dollar range. Also, the ad below is another clever way of pointing out just why Apple is better than PCs.

Girl Fight Fridays - Smile For the Camera


I like a girl who can smile for the camera while she's in a fight. It displays a certain degree of show(wo)manship that is appreciated. But, don't get me wrong, just because of that borderline goofy action, that doesn't mean that this fight is not on the extreme side. I mean, these chicks are tossing each other against concrete walls, gut-punching and getting shots in the face. These are hardcore bitches through and through. Don't be messing with these chicks. They will fuck you up.

Dropping Eaves - Name-Dropping Douche

I was at the 7-11, doing my 4:45 AM ritual . . . loading up on coffee and picking out a breakfast pastry (breakfast of champions) when I overheard a conversation between a guy and the 7-11 employee. It went a little like this.

Guy: This this and that are mine. Sorry, it's been a long night.
7-11 Guy: Sure, no problem.
Guy: (Opens up his trench coat) Do you know this band?
7-11 Guy: (Looks at picture on Guy's shirt) No.
Guy: It's the Black Eyed Peas. They're a rap group. They have a singer, a girl, you've probably seen her in the magazines (he points down to the mag-rack).
7-11 Guy: Um, OK.
Guy: Her name is Stacey Ferguson. People call her "Fergie".
7-11 Guy: Oh, yes, I know now.
Guy: She's a friend from way back in the Valley. We went to school together. I saw her tonight (I think he meant last night . . . but his night was probably just ending) and she recognized me and we had a good time.
7-11 Guy: Oh, ok.
Guy: Yeah, it was fun (around this time I wanted to chime in with a "Hey, did you happen to say hello to her penis" . . . but it's early, and I hadn't had my coffee yet).
7-11 Guy: I like The Beatles.
Guy: Oh, the fab-four. Yeah, I'm going to put on one of their records when I get home. You might listen to one of my band's when we hit it big.
7-11 Guy: Ok, it's going to be . . . .

And then I just lost total interest. This guy is probably going to spend all day today talking about partying it up with the butterface of butterfaces herself, Fergie. And everyone is going to just nod their heads and tell him how "great" and "cool" his experience was. But deep down, I know that at least half of those people will be like me, and just wonder why the fuck this guy keeps going on and on about Fergie. Does he have a thing for chicks with man-faces? Fucking douchebag. It's Fergie. I could go around and tell stories about the time I went to the LA Zoo and saw her in the gorilla enclosure, picking out fleas from a male silverback's fur, and everyone would be "uh-huh, ok . . . that sounds great". Nobody cares.

God I hate people in Los Angeles sometimes.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

News Break!

Anna Nicole Smith is dead at 39. I couldn't believe it at first and was about to call shanannigans on the whole deal when I found a legitimate news story on FOX News about it. Well, actually, my colleague Mike V. had it five minutes before me. He just got stuck on a call with an elderly client and couldn't get to my cubicle before I had found it. But, hey, thanks buddy. You always bring me the best tips on recent deaths . . . wait, is "thanks" really the word I'm looking for? It is a bit on the morbid side. Either way, he's a class act. If he had a page, I would link you . . . but he's a scrub when it comes to that.

HDH - Avril Lavigne

Despite having teeth that make me want to take up wooden-stake crafting and garlic wreath manufacturing, Avril Lavigne can look good on occasion. Hump-able? Perhaps. She definitely does in these pictures. And, fortunately, her Sum 41 lead singer/real life land gnome, husband is no where to be seen. He kinda gives me the creeps. But, it is nice that he found a chick he could actually say he was taller than. Otherwise, he would have to had troll (figuratively and actively) Canadian elementary schools for height-appropriate dates. Enough about him though. Below is the picture that swayed my decision to include her in the venerable and pedigree-laden HDH entries. How did she know I had a thing for Catholic schoolgirls.

Kim Kardashian - Screen Captured


These crazy kids and their sex-tapes. Just because I like to cater to my readership, here are screen shots of the Kim Kardashian sextape she's currently starring in with her then boyfriend, celebrity man-slaughteress Brandy's brother, Ray J. I have to say that the production values are much higher than the ones featured in her BFF Paris Hilton's sextape, and that alone might be reason enough to get this.

But why should you care that this girl, whom you've probably never heard of if you don't run in certain Hollywood circles, has a tape of her engaging in sexual intercourse. Well, there is the part about the water sports, and we're not talking water skiing. Ray J does his best R Kelly impression and pees on her. Not exactly sure where, but I'm picturing it as going all over her face. Because, if you're going to pee on a chick, you're not going to pee on her ankle. Come on, let's be reasonable here. Enjoy the screen shots all over this post and then head out to Egostastic which is hosting the trailer for the video here. They also have more screen captures of the video, along with far better coverage than I can provide. One more shot below.

Search Terms - More Kardashian with Less Pee

This past week was business as usual when it comes to searching. All your favorites show up in the list, but pay close attention to the last few entries at the bottom of the list. They're all Kim Kardashian related (well, most of them). I did read up on what's going on, and it looks like Vivid is releasing the sextape they bought for a cool million. Here's a nifty factoid when it comes to the Kardashian sextape: Ray J pees on her. Knock yourself out.

On other search-related disturbing news, everyone wants to see Harry Potter's flesh wand. Yes, you can scan through the results for this week and notice an un-nerving surge of searches involving Daniel Radcliffe's twig and berries. Mostly his twig though. He's no Cisco Adler when it comes to memorable nut-sacks (don't ask).

foxy boxing - Google Search HU
katherine mcvee nude - Yahoo Search
bianca gascoigne no knickers pictures - MSN Live Search UK
bianca gascoigne pantyless - Google Search
bianca gascoigne upskirt - Google Search UK
fran drescher screencaps - Google Search SE
hayden panettiere nip slip - Google Search
"Naked pictures of Daniel Radcliffe" - Google Search NZ
bianca gascoigne no knickers - Google Search UK
Emma Watson nude fakes - BlogSearch
emilie pees - Google Search
BIANCA GASCOIGNE with no underwear photo - Google Search
emma watson's bare boobs photo - Yahoo Search IN
papparazi pics upskirt stars - Google Search RO
"katharine mcphee nude" - Google Search ID
"Daniel Radcliffe nude pictures" - Yahoo Search PH
emma watson nip slip - Google Search
britney muff - Google Search
kristin kreuk nude - BlogSearch
ice skater nipple slip - Google Search
pete wentz exposed pictures - Google Search CA
catherine mcphee's feet - Google Search
daniel radcliffe's penis pics - Google Search NZ
Hayden Panettiere upskirt - Google Search
"american idol" "nip slip" - Google Search
lily allen nipple slip - Google Search
"emma watson naked pictures" - Google Search AU
blogs are for wusses - Google Search
daniel radcliffe hairy legs - Google Search CA
gymnast accident images - Google Search NZ
morgan webb's underwear slip - Google Search
scarlett johansen nipple slip - Google Search IT
pictures of Emma Watson's handwriting - Google Search
katherine mcphee crotch shot - Google Search
Rachel McAdams knickers - Google Search AU
sharon stone leg cross video - Google Search
anna farris nip slip - Google Search
daniel radcliffe´s penis - Yahoo Search PT
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sienna miller underpants - Google Search
nude Emma Watson's photo - Google Search AE
posh upskirt - Google Search
bianca gascoigne flashing pussy - Google Search IE
Bianca Gascoigne - Google Search ES
Daniel Radcliffe cock - Google Search HU
amy smart oops - Google Search ES
amanda bynes nip slip - Google Search
failure+to+launch screencaps - Google Search UK
daniel radcliffe penis size - Google Search AU
Hayden Panettiere nude - Google Search
kim kardashian upskirt - Google Search CL
bianca gascoigne no panty - Google Search
anne hathaway wmv - Google Search
winona ryder - BlogSearch
upskirts schoolgirl blogspot - BlogSearch
emma watson nip slip upskirt - Google Search
"havoc.mpg" - Google Search AU
athf flaming chicken - Google Search
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kathryn mcphee see-through dress - Google Search
grace park cameltoe - Google Search
ATHF trailer - Google Search
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daniel radcliffe hairy pubes - Google Search
nude shizuka skater - Google Search CA
sienna miller underpants picture - Google Search
+"Emma Watson smoke - Google Search
BIANCA GASCOIGNE crotch shot - Google Search NL
BIANCA GASCOIGNE flash - Google Search FI
Rachel McAdams cameltoe - Google Search BE
+"BIANCA GASCOIGNE" +"no panties" - Google Search HL
radcliffe cock - Google Search ES
"Rachel Weisz" confidence hold boobs - Google Search
"daniel radcliffe cock" - Google Search UK
bianca gascoigne pussy - Google Search UK
hayden panettiere plump - Google Search
bianca gascoigne pantyless pussy pics - Google Search IE
australia television presenter upskirt without underwear - Google Search SE
kristin stewart photo blogs - Google Search
denise richards loose shorts - Google Search
lindsay lohan flashes her bulge - Google Search NO
madonna rape scene - Google Search
denise richards upshorts - AOL Search UK
download emilie de ravin rape - Google Search
bianca gascoigne exposed pussy - Google Search UK
kristine kreuk nip slip - Google Search
MISCHA BARTON OOPS UPSKIRT - Google Search
Sarah Silverman - All The Web Search
"kardashian tape" - Google Search TR
kelly osbourne turning japanese screencaps - Google Search
knocked up Apple trailer - Google Search
eva green nude labia - Google Search AU
nipple slips kyra sedgwick - Google Search
Daniel Radcliffe penis size - Google Search
emma watson bare belly - Google Search
foxnews upskirts - Google Search
hayden panettiere fanfic erotic - Google Search
keely hazel upskirt - Google Search UK
fergie looks like et - Google Search
keely mpegs - Google Search
bafw jaimes space - Google Search
danielle radcliffe hentai - Google Search UK
girl fhm nude philipine - Google Search TH
Kimberly stewart panty shot - Google Search
Emma Watson bikini blue - Google Search
tokyo police club - BlogSearch
lindsay lohan without underwear unrated - Google Search NO
Fergie a hermaphrodite - Google Search
Lilly Allen papparazi boob - Google Search
ann hathaway masturbate - Google Search
nip slip judd - Google Search PL
denise richards beaver shot - Google Search
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mpeg two upskirt GYMNAST showing - Google Search FR
pete wentz exposed penis - Google Search
"Dan Radcliffe" "nude pictures' - Google Search
Amy Smart nipple - Google Search
Emma Watson, or girl celebrities crotch slip - Google Search
Pictures of Daniel Radcliff cock - Google Search PT
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linsey lohan exsposed panty less - Yahoo Search
casting couch girls - AltaVista Search
eva green exposed - Google Search SI
blogs are for wusses - MSN Live Search UK
Kim Kardashian Sextape mpeg - Google Search NL
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Kim Kardashian video screencaps - Google Search
kim ryder nip slip - Google Search UK
Kim Kardashian full sextape - Google Search BG
"kim kardashian sextape" trailer - Google Search DE
Kim Kardashian sex wmv - Google Search JP
Kardashian sextape - Google Search LV
hermione pee jeans - Google Search
inurl: "Kim Kardashian" "video" - Google Search
sarah silverman hot - Dogpile Search

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Where's the HDH?

I know. It's Thursday, not Hump-Day officially, and there was no posting for "Hump Day Hotties" yesterday. Well, I can give you excuses, like I was out sick yesterday, and I don't usually post from home because my computer is on the proverbial fritz (screen issues . . . the actual thing is working fine, but can't see very clearly what's on the screen) and that today, while I'm trying to rectify the oversight, my Photobucket is inaccessible.

But, rest assured, I will post something up today with a hottie for you to dream of humping. I've found some great pictures of a certain chick that can be pretty hump-worthy . . . sometimes.

EDIT: Yeah, I used a time-machine to travel back in time to yesterday, and posted this up then. Don't tell anyone though . . . our little secret.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Upskirt City - Fergie (AKA - Horror Fans Edition)


So, that happened this past weekend during a Super Bowl performance of hers. Fergie shows off her upskirt with pride. Which makes me wonder . . . why would anyone want to see that? I bet you she can run around Los Angeles, skirt over her head and a sign that says "Free Entry - Just Ask" and not one man not-named "Josh Duhamel" would want to park their salami in that death trap.

Wait . . . oh God, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. That's one of the many dangers of posting up pictures of Fergie. I think the camel-toe that is visible pushed me over the edge. I'm going to go scrub my eyes out with bleach now. See you (or not) later.

TuGMO - Catholic Romp


I have a thing for Catholic Schoolgirl uniforms . . . and the chicks in them. Here is a perfect example of that. I don't think it needs much explanation. It goes on for about a minute or so. Just right if you ask me. I get bored with things that go over a minuter or so. Specially things online. Maybe I have interwebs-ADD. I wonder if this is why, whenever I check out online porn, I'm content with just viewing the free samples/trailers and not bothering with the whole movie.

Or maybe I just love trailers. And chicks in Catholic schoolgirl uniforms.

Loss in Wages AKA - Why I'm a Masochistic Fool

So, I was discussing all the wonderful points that makes the company that we work for such a dandy place with a co-worker of mine over the MSN Messenger (hey IT, feel free to relay that to your overlords . . . Big-Brother'esque motherfuckers). And I get to a comment that I made that made me think. It is regarding the bonus money we finally got early this year for a year's worth of technically supporting the clients that the company has. Here's a direct quote . . . from me . . . about this.
[T]hat's understandable. It was miniscule. Like a hundred bucks is going to make up for all of the lost wages that I have incurred by staying with this company
Just how much money have I missed out on by waiting over 8 months for my $1/hour raise? I broke out the calculator, and started crunching numbers. Eight months times 20 workdays (on average, that's 4 weeks of 5 days of work) equals 160 days. Then, I multiplied that by 8 hours and got the figure of 1280. That, is, in dollars what would have been added to my wages in that period of time. And let's not mention the change in the health care package that my employer switched to late last year that has cost me about $500 dollars. So, added to that, and not counting overtime, the total amount that this company is holding out on me is . . . .

$1780, give or take a couple of dollars. So, why don't I look for another job? I am. It's a pain in the ass. Pimping myself out on interviews is not my idea of fun. But it has got to be done. I'm also lazy, which is why my job search is not currently in high gear. Recruiters call me but it's always for jobs that I am clearly not qualified for. I mean, I could do them . . . but I would need way more training than what I'm sure they're willing to dole out. Let's just hope my future prospects pan out. Otherwise, I will still be here, not making enough money, and hating every minute of it.

Developing Metal-Phobia


I'm not developing a phobia of metal music bands (although . . . they have the capacity of creeping me out), but rather of actual metal. This year has been pretty fear-inducing for me as every piece of metal I touch somehow manages to shock the fuck out of me. I get electrocuted on a daily basis. And the most of the time, the culprit is my car.

You can ask my wife just how many times we get shocked by my Mazda 3. The door handles are all metal, so that doesn't help. I keep hesitating every time I reach for that damn door handle. Like today, when I went to move my car in the morning. I tentatively touched the handle, and no shock came through. I had not removed my fingertips from the door as I went to lift the handle and then . . . Zzzzapp! It shocks me. That bastard had a delayed reaction to me touching it. It's like my car is playing mind games with me.

The other instance of me not being able to touch metal is whenever I go to 7-11. It doesn't matter what time it is, what the weather is like that day/night. I always get shocked when I open the door. It's gotten so bad that I either pull my sleeve over my hand and/or use my wallet as a buffer between me and the metal handle. This works pretty well, but I have to sometimes nudge the door with my shoe, and even with that, I've gotten shocked in the foot before. Through my sneakers.

So, you can see why I have much trepidation when handling anything metallic. Maybe I'm more prone to getting shocked than most people, or maybe people handle this better than I do and don't write blog posts about it. I don't know.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Musically Inclined Mondays - Tokyo Police Club

Chances are, you won't find Tokyo Police Club playing your local radio station. Maybe if you're lucky enough to have an independent, non-mainstream, public radio station available or a college radio station, you might catch a listen of this Canadian band's infectuous music. It gets in your head, in a good way. These two tracks from their "A Lesson in Crime" EP are my favorites. Finding these guys a few months ago is pretty much one of the few highlights of 2006 (musically). I now, share them with you, my Daniel Radcliffe cock-size/picture seeking public. Yeah, I know why you're really here. But, since there's none of that around, get some tunes instead.

Oh, and check out the band's site here for more information.

Citizens of Tomorrow - Tokyo Police Club
Nature of the Experiment - Tokyo Police Club

Friday, February 02, 2007

Denise Richards - Up-shorts?

Denise Richards is showing a little more than she should in the pictures below. The one to the right is just to show you who those shorts belong to. The real "meat" (or tuna) of the story is below. And, from what we can tell . . . it looks like her vagina starts right around where her leg meets her crotch. Looks a little misshapen and loose down there. The rest of her is still holding up pretty good . . . but having sex with that must be like throwing a Vienna sausage into the Grand Canyon.


You can all thank Flynet.com for these pictures . . . although, I don't think "thank you" is the word you're looking for. It certainly is not what I would use to describe the sight of Denise Richard's vagina.

Spot On - Fergie Is E.T.


I saw this earlier today and I totally had to post it. Thanks WWTD.COM. Sadly, this is not the only Fergie-related piece of news today. She is also saying this . . . .
"I've heard that I've been engaged probably about seven times, and pregnant, but I've never been either. Sorry to disappoint."
Who is she disappointing? Herself? Fans of circus freaks? Evolution? If this is what she looks like I don't think it's possible to imagine what disgusting freak-baby would pop out of her uterus. She probably would actually lay an egg or alien-like coccoon of some sort. I'm still contesting Fergie's claim to humanity. Something that ugly can't possibly be a Homo Sapien.

Boston I Love You, But You're Freaking Me Out


Those nefarious raggamuffins responsible for the "terrorist" scare in Boston have been rounded up . . . and it turns out . . . they have some hair issues. These two guys are my new heroes. Here they are, in a press conference outside of the court house were they were arraigned, just fucking with people. And the FOX news channel does not seem to like it. Come on FOX, you bring the funny to America every Saturday night with Mad TV. You get the joke, right? Actually, Mad TV's not all that funny. I guess FOX wouldn't get it. As you watch this, pay close attention to the reporters who start firing off questions with a fairly palpable tone of indignation. This is like Christmas in February. And below is a video of them putting up the magnetic light signs all over the city.

They do look scary. Specially that 2-D middle finger being pointed at you. You better watch out, because Ignignot is doing that as hard as he can.



UPDATE



When reputable news organizations start linking me . . . then you know the world is turned upside down. Check out their professional coverage here. Thanks guys. LOL.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Knocked Up Trailer


The trailer for "Knocked Up" is here. I love it. I actually want to impregnate it. It's totally not what you would find prefacing your family comedy movie. It stars Katherine Heigl, Seth Rogen, and is directed by Judd Apatow of "The 40 Year Old Virgin". It will also, most likely throw Paul Rudd a bone and he'll get some work. Watch this trailer and anxiously await for this movie's delivery date. See what I did there. That's preggo -humor. I know you people eat it up like Gerber's. Oh man, I'm on fi-ya!

ATHF Scares Boston . . . World Laughs

Boston . . . Why you gotta be such a pussy? If you hadn't heard, it seems that Cartoon Network's marketing campaign scared the bejeebus out of the city of Boston this week. They mistook some magnetic light boxes with terrorist bombs, and now the city is all up in arms about it. Can't they just laugh it off? I mean, there was nothing dangerous about it. The only danger is your frigging paranoia people. Here's a link to the story which tells you more about what happened. I could go into detail, but I'm too busy LOL'ing and ROFL'ing too type much more than this. I can end the post with this though . . . Mooninites rock! Pull down Boston's pants and spank them with moon rocks fellas.

Search Terms - Another Week, Another Search

I was toying with the idea of categorizing all of these searches. You know, make it look a little more tidy. But the prospect of that is just too time consuming. I would totally do it if I could buy myself a new computer. And, I could buy myself a new computer if people would click on my links/banners and buy things from those ad sponsors. But hey, just throwing these up here in a jumbled mess works too you know. Italicized searches below are my WTF searches for the week.

victoria beckham - MSN Live Search
Upskirt blogurl:blogspot.com - BlogSearch
french gymnast pees - Google Search
havoc unrated clip - Google Search SE
bollywood nipple slips,upskirts,panties - Google Search IN
Linsey Lohan croch shot - Google Search
Jessica Biel Vacation - Technorati Search
mariah carrey upskirt - Google Search HU
bianca gascoigne upskirt - Google Search UK
katharine mcphees nipples - Google Search
posh Spice - MSN Live Search
download Paris exposed - BlogSearch
terri hatcher - AltaVista Search
Morgan Webb nip slip - Google Search CA
nippleslip bollywood - Google Search LK
"mc chris Life's a Bitch and I'm Her Pimp" - BlogSearch
scarlett johansson upskirt/nip slip - Google Search
Emma Watson nip slip - Google Search
katherine mcphee butt - AltaVista Search
amanda bynes nip slip - Google Search
happy slip.com - Google Search MX
Kim Kardashian sextape.wmv - Yahoo Search
"swimmers pee" - Google Search DE
jessica biel booty shots - Google Search
rachel mcadams upskirt - Google Search CA
BOOTY SHOTS OF JESSICA BIEL - Google Search
Evangeline Lilly sex tape wmv - Google Search
booty shots - BlogSearch
resse whiterspoon nip slip - Google Search
kimberly stewart upskirt - Google Search EC
"morgan webb" "bra size" - Google Search
lohan no panties - Google Search
"Jennifer Morrison" nipslip - BlogSearch FR
kelly osbourne turning japanese screencaps - Google Search ES
"emma watson feet" - Google Search FR
nose picker slip.com - AOL Search
Morgan Webb wardrobe malfunction - Google Search
www.totally crap.com - Google Search DK
dan/emma fic - Google Search
"lindsey lohan beaver shot" - Google Search
linsey lohan exposed - Google Search
lindsay lohan muff shots - Google Search
eva green mpg download - Google Search
fergie nip slip in color - Google Search CA
linsey lohan dressed as schoolgirl - Google Search UK
amy smart panty - Google Search
pete wentz's unit exposed - Google Search
katharine mcphee nude upskirt - Google Search
amy smart crank screencaps - Netscape Search
any upskirt photos from the episode of friends - Dell Search
keely hazell - MSN Live Search
mary louise parker panty - Google Search CA
watson's underwear - Google Search UK
mud wrestling - BlogSearch
american idol nip slip - Google Search
link: parisexposed.com - BlogSearch DE
girls with big boob - BlogSearch
bianca gascoigne pantyless - Google Search UK
stunt girl - OK Search HU
jaime+bafw - Google Search
lilly allen boob slip - Google Search UK
Dakota "Hound Dog" +"Screen caps" - Google Search
"Emma Watson underwear" - Google Search PL
winona ryder - BlogSearch
RACHEL MCADAMS mpg - Google Search
Bijou Phillips havoc trailers rape - Google Search CA
Halo Hentai Cortana licked - Google Search
Anne Hathaway havoc mpg free - Google Search
morgan webb nip slip - Google Search
annapolis hookers - Google Search
nipple of katherine mcphee - Google Search
cortana hentai - Google Search
Hayden Panettiere thong - Google Search
britney spears in bikini - MSN Live Search CA
Ali Larter - BlogSearch
optimus aintitcool - BlogSearch
paul Wentz penis - Google Search
"Eva Green" Nude clip Dreamers Mpg - Google Search AU
Anna Farris hard nipples - Google Search
BILLY JOE SHAVER - MSN Live Search
"Grace park" - BlogSearch
unseen nipple - Google Search RO
"Grace Park naked" - Google Search UK
keely hazell - BlogSearch
emilie de ravin + rape scene live - Google Search SE
evangeline lilly upskirts - BellSouth Web Search
amy lindsay mpeg - Google Search SG
lilly allen paparazzi flashing boob pic - Google Search
lily allen's boob slip - Google Search
Lindsay Lohan accidentally moons audience at Kid's Choice Awards - Google Search
pantyless spicegirls - Google Search
ciera talks about being a hermaphrodite - Google Search
son see mothers nipples without bra videos - Google Search TR
emma watson nude - Technorati Search
jessica biel erotica fan fiction - Google Search
morgan webb mpg wmv - Google Search
pete wentz cock video - Google Search
slipup and nipples of indian actress free - Google Search IN
Billy Joe Shaver My dreams are all dead & buried /Sometimes I wish the sun would just explode /When God comes and calls me to his kingdom /I'll take all you sonsabitches when I go - Google Search
nipple-topia - Google Search
gretchen moll - nude - Google Search
newscast + "nip slip" - Yahoo Search
Natalie Portman V pink dress - Google Search
Gretchen Moll nipples - Google Search
rosario dawson nerd - Yahoo Search
amy smart pantyless in crank - Google Search
maggie grace blue panties - Google Search
paris hilton topless on boat with joe francis - Yahoo Search
mariah carey upskirt no underwear - Google Search
sideboob - AltaVista Search
"sharon stone basic instinct 2 nude clip" - Google Search IN
the dreamers+eva green+free clip - Google Search BA
bianca gascoigne shaven vagina - Yahoo Search
jennifer morrison - Naver Search
lindsay lohan crotch shot cannes - Google Search CZ
bianca gascoigne nipple slips and upskirt - MSN Live Search UK
keely hazel sex tape blogspot - BlogSearch
anna farris in sexy scene video - Google Search
JENNY MCCARTHY PEED - Google Search IT
parisexposed joe francis - Google Search
Kim Kardashian Nipples Slip - Google Search IN
v for vendetta natalie portman with pigtails - Google Search
"Daniel Radcliffe nude pictures" - Google Search
hermione farts - Google Search
havoc mpeg bijou - Google Search DE
catherine keener upskirt - Google Search
"parisexposed" diary - Google Search
" free hentai wmv" - Google Search
paris exposed, diary entries - Google Search
ali larter + nipple slip - Google Search
historic shark - Google Search
iron chef america mcdonalds - Google Search
spears muff shot - Google Search
gretchen moll spanking - Google Search
morgan webb thong - Google Search
gwyneth paltrow no panties - BlogSearch FR
ciera naked on howard stern - Google Search
bb grace upskirt - Google Search
KATHARINE MCPHEE boobs size - Google Search
Kristen Bell Thong Slip - Google Search
nudepictures of daniel radcliff - Google Search IN
pete wentz trouser malfunction - Google Search UK
cortana erotic fanfic - Google Search
emma watson candid pictures - AOL Search UK
rachel mcadams red eye screencap - Google Search
eva green dreamers sex scene video wmv - Google Search AU
amy smart nipple from crank - Google Search
lauren graham nipple slip - Google Search
"my strap on" - BlogSearch CA
Lohan Crotch unrated - Google Search
inurl:blogspot keely-hazell - Google Search
kimberly stewart upskirt no underwear free - Google Search
Daniel Radcliffe's cock pictures - Google Search
pete wentz wedgie - Yahoo Search
sympatico kristin kreuk interview - Google Search
"naked skater girls" - Google Search
kids bath pics free - BlogSearch
"Daniel Radcliffe's penis" - Google Search
Video of Joaquin Phoenix-Frog in hair - Google Search
"piss on her" "keira knightley " - Google Search DE
gymnastic crotch shots - Google Search
lilly nipples - Google Search FR

So, the weird ones (to me at least) are the ones involving urination, one-boobed chicks, "Friends" upskirts (I'll be there for you . . . when the something something something), a Harry Potter character farting, things to do with nipples (motherly and unseen ones), me (WTF!) and nose-picking. Sounds like a good week to me. See you next Thursday. Same Search-time, same Search-channel.
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