Dodging the Training Bullet

I forgot to mention earlier during my ex-employer (as of tomorrow) rant about how I expertly dodged their "Hat Training" for the better part of a year. That, I can count as one of my great triumphs while being employed by them. Now, I was a bit leery when I heard that this company was using the L. Ron Hubbard Business Management model, but I thought it was just the way they ran the business, not that they wanted to impose this on their employees.

So, there's been this cat and mouse game with the training people and me. Most of it has been pretty low key, and I actually attended one class, which felt like a slap in the face to intelligence. But new hires have to go through this "training" which isn't actually relevant to the job they're performing. Say, someone starting a tech support position would still have to do this "hat training", even though there's no actual tech-training involved. It's more like on-the-job behavioral modification. A sort of brain-washing if you will.

And the effect that it has on people that go through it is fairly palpable. It would seem that they are encouraged to write and then distribute an e-mail to all staff as to how "enjoyable" the training was and how much this is going to help them not just at work, but in their every day lives. They're not fooling me though. I know that these pod-people employees have been modified by this crazy Scientology training. I'm not having any part of it.

The creepy headmaster of the program stopped by my cubbyhole this morning and, after actually noticing that I wasn't the guy he was looking for, told me that he wished me luck on my new position. It's kind of weird that he would not know who I was one minute, but then somehow knew the next. I could tell that running around in his brain was the same thought: "Damn, this one got away!". I sure did Creepy.

I sure did.