Dropping Eaves - Name-Dropping Douche

I was at the 7-11, doing my 4:45 AM ritual . . . loading up on coffee and picking out a breakfast pastry (breakfast of champions) when I overheard a conversation between a guy and the 7-11 employee. It went a little like this.

Guy: This this and that are mine. Sorry, it's been a long night.
7-11 Guy: Sure, no problem.
Guy: (Opens up his trench coat) Do you know this band?
7-11 Guy: (Looks at picture on Guy's shirt) No.
Guy: It's the Black Eyed Peas. They're a rap group. They have a singer, a girl, you've probably seen her in the magazines (he points down to the mag-rack).
7-11 Guy: Um, OK.
Guy: Her name is Stacey Ferguson. People call her "Fergie".
7-11 Guy: Oh, yes, I know now.
Guy: She's a friend from way back in the Valley. We went to school together. I saw her tonight (I think he meant last night . . . but his night was probably just ending) and she recognized me and we had a good time.
7-11 Guy: Oh, ok.
Guy: Yeah, it was fun (around this time I wanted to chime in with a "Hey, did you happen to say hello to her penis" . . . but it's early, and I hadn't had my coffee yet).
7-11 Guy: I like The Beatles.
Guy: Oh, the fab-four. Yeah, I'm going to put on one of their records when I get home. You might listen to one of my band's when we hit it big.
7-11 Guy: Ok, it's going to be . . . .

And then I just lost total interest. This guy is probably going to spend all day today talking about partying it up with the butterface of butterfaces herself, Fergie. And everyone is going to just nod their heads and tell him how "great" and "cool" his experience was. But deep down, I know that at least half of those people will be like me, and just wonder why the fuck this guy keeps going on and on about Fergie. Does he have a thing for chicks with man-faces? Fucking douchebag. It's Fergie. I could go around and tell stories about the time I went to the LA Zoo and saw her in the gorilla enclosure, picking out fleas from a male silverback's fur, and everyone would be "uh-huh, ok . . . that sounds great". Nobody cares.

God I hate people in Los Angeles sometimes.