Box Office Report - Not all the Rage

Spider-Man 3 - Despite a $100 million drop-off in business this weekend, as opposed to the last weekend, this movie still takes the top spot making just under $60 million, proving that people don't read reviews anymore and they like to be subjected to long, drawn-out melodrama sandwiched in between CGI fight scenes. I did not enjoy this movie. It wasn't terrible . . . but there's just so much missed potential.

28 Weeks Later - Zombie movies don't usually end up this high on the list, but just like it's predecessor, this movie is a bit of a small hit. I hear good things about this movie. Analog Medium has a review of it if you're thinking about watching it and haven't made a decision yet. I didn't read the whole thing, because I want to keep myself spoiler free for this one. So, be careful. And you can check out their growing "Encyclopedia Zombica", which keeps growing as they keep watching pretty much every single zombie movie ever made. Those guys are kah-razy.

Georgia Rule - Snooze. Why do women watch this type of crap? It stars three old broads dealing with love. Didn't "Golden Girls" tackle this subject in the early 90's? Or was it the late 80's? And before you say "Wait, it's two old broads and a young one", consider how old and tired Lindsay Lohan is looking these days. Plus, when did her voice get that raspy? She sounds like my grandma on three packs a day. And my grandma is dead. It's that bad.

Disturbia - The "Cult of LeBouef" continues to pump fresh money into this movie, which has outperformed my expectations. Everything this kid touches turns into tween gold. No wonder they got him for the "Transformers" movie. That flick's gonna make tons of cash just on the LeBouef-factor. Fuck the robots in disguise, I just want my "Even Stevens" fix.

Delta Farce - Seriously America? A Larry the Cable Guy movie in the top five? Shouldn't you all be at Wal-Mart of K-Mart, buying denim suits and getting your mullets coiffed? What the fuck is wrong with you? Maybe the terrorists were right. Maybe America is indeed evil.

Opening Weekend Movies - 5/11/07

28 Weeks Later - This is my pick of the weekend, although, it won't get number 1 at the box office. "Spider-Man 3" is still running around, emptying the pockets of America. But, this movie should be at least pretty good. The first one was a bit of a surprise, and I actually watched it twice in the theaters. I'm not expecting a repeat of that with this new installment, but I might go either this weekend (if my work schedule allows it) or during one of my days off during the week.

Delta Farce - Wow. That Larry the Cable Guy is still making movies. And for who? This guy is pretty much a joke here in the west coast. And not a very funny one at that. Actually, his whole blue collar comedy schtick should only work in landlocked states. States where the people have gun-racks in their pick-up trucks. States that I don't really want to visit. I have an idea. Only release these types of turds in those States, and save us the trouble of having to watch the trailers whenever we go watch movies. Fuck you Larry the Cable Guy.

The Ex - Oh Zach Braff, you used to be funny. Now, you're in all of these romantic comedies, and it just feels like you're trying to make "Garden State" all over again. That was a once in a lifetime movie man. Stop staring into the camera while some hipster music plays in the background. This should be the "date" movie of the weekend. Otherwise known as "the price to pay for pussy". We've all been there.

Georgia Rule - Hey, it's the movie where Lindsay Lohan pissed off the President of Morgan Creek productions? That's pretty much the most interesting thing about the movie. That, and she fakes fellatio to a guy in a rowboat. Whatever. I hate Lindsay Lohan movies. They're just so trite. And she's looking pretty tired too. Like all of these past few years of partying and snorting various substances into her nasal cavities are aging her prematurely. She actually looks like Jane Fonda's slutty sister in this movie. Fans of geriatric porno, rejoice.