Thursday, January 31, 2008

Britney Boobs Video Follow-Up

The pictures were taken at the same time that video in the post below was shot. If you are like me, and skipped right to the "good" part of the video, then you got to see a somewhat blurry boob through her "I don't even know why they would call that a shirt" top. So, to assuage your frustration (masturbatory I presume), here are a couple of crisp pictures of said incident. Enjoy your perverse fantasies that involve a down on her luck Britney Spears. I'm pretty sure she'd do anyone in her current state, as long as you offered a box of twinkies to sweeten the deal.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Britney's Boobs Out & About

Just like with most Britney Spears' videos, the action happens towards the end. This time, even though her boobs remain "clothed", the sheerness of that top she's wearing might as well have been nothing. Those titties are in full view to anyone with a recording device. Someone needs to slap Britney around a little bit. Knock some sense into her. Anyway, enjoy (?) the video.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Letters from Scientology

I know there might be a moral problem with re-printing someone else's personal e-mail, but when you're a Scientologist, and you're wrapped up in a make-believe "religion", you're kind of asking for it. Leah Remini, one of the stars on "King of Queens" is a super-Scientologist. She ain't no Tom Cruise, but by judging from the e-mail below, she's getting close. Try to decipher the following e-mail and see just what the hell she's talking about. I couldn't make heads or tails from it, but then again, I'm just a lowly SP.


This is Leah Remini Writing you again. Some of you may know me from the TV show "King of Queens", but what is more important is that I am now OT V and at one point I was a very stalled Clear. A lot of people helped me to get OT, and I decided I was going to turn around and help every Clear make it to OT.

A couple of months ago, you received a letter from me about an event I was holding to help people move who were stalled on the Bridge. Obviously you did not come and for some reason, feel you are not indeed a "stalled Clear". Let me start with the definition of "stalled". Not that you are-but who knows? STALL: To slow down or
halt the progress of. (American Heritage Student Dictionary). If you are not aggressively moving on your next step-your next "Gradechart Action", you are stalled. Look at the Gradechart, it says: Clear-Sunshine Rundown-Solo Course Part 1-OT Preparations and so on up the chart. If you are not on your next step as per this chart, and are not on a prerequisite for Solo, you are stalled-plain and simple.

If your C/S has CS ed you for the PTS SP course, or some other needed action to get you rolling up the GRADECHART faster, then do it, and do it fast. I have experience being a Stalled Clear. I was the kind of gal who went on course MAYBE a period a day, only on weekdays, and that was ONLY if I had the time. I felt I deserved a
special award for being there and they couldn't possibly ask for more. I remember thinking and saying out loud, "I WILL NEVER be like those idiots who wait 10 years to go OT!" 10 years later, I hadn't moved. I mean I did everything else but move on to Solo One. I did other courses, I got myself in to trouble, then needed some FPRD and
then I would finish that and it would be "my finances"... I would hear people talk to me about other Clears and refer to them as "stalled Clears" and I would be like "Yeah-they are totally stalled. You guys should handle them." Never once did I think "I" was a stalled Clear, because I was always doing something. Once my mother
told me I was stalled and I actually thought she was an idiot. Really, I thought "Wow, she really should handle that." I also thought she just didn't know me. My mom is OT VII and a Class VI. She did know me and she was right. So, it is up to you now to be
honest with yourself and look at your own progress up the Bridge.

Do you ever wonder why you are not moving? No? Then that's an outpoint. You are Clear, you are special, why have you not moved? Whatever the reason, there is an answer and a solution. I don't care what it is: you were not serviced right or fast enough, people don't get you, you have other things going on that we don't get, you are helping
others, you are upset, you haven't been acked, your life is actually going well, your life is not going well, there's no money there's no time, if you were a millionaire you would do it no problem, you are waiting for your 2D to make it, there's no urgency, you are not sure if you have what it takes to be OT, you hated your auditor, you don't like the parking situation...WHATEVER IT IS, IT IS STOPPING YOU AND THERE IS A REASON FOR THAT!

Why am I telling you this and who the hell am I writing you? Do you think that I have nothing better to do with my time than write you letters and put on events? Do you think I make some sort of commission off you? The answer is that I don't have better things to do than to support my group and help when I can. Clears ARE my
group. And no- I don't make a dime. Does that make you wonder, "Why the hell does she care?". Or... "Why does the Org care?" Well, when you do your levels you too will care. Sept 11th (9/11) kicked me in the a&#.

I finally realized that all it takes is a few madmen to take us all down. There I was, just running on my treadmill thinking life is okay. I'm going on course every so often, (when I had time) and BAM! Life has changed. I suddenly thought, "Oh my God, what if I'm stuck in this condition again and I have to--what? Do it all over again?
Where would I go? What would I do? Would some secret Scientology police come down and save me? Is there a secret back-up plan? I was sure there was. But there isn't . All it would take is another tragic event to happen again and we are all done. There will be no planet for us to be stalled, or "just doing okay" on. There would be nothing! The only plan is for you to move on up to OT as fast as you can. That is the secret. Really. I am asking you to get it together. You are in charge and responsible for what you do this lifetime. Not being on course and not doing your next step is getting you where? Play out the scenario-there you are being a Clear, being right about whatever it is that is keeping you from being on course and doing your next step. Years go by, you are making money, you have a nice house and a nice car. You spent time with those friends you wanted to hang out with, you cleaned out the garage, you traveled. You do
all the things that were keeping you from taking your next step. Then what? Then you are going to move? I hate to say this but you are lying to yourself. You need to move now, regardless of your situation. Are you just going to keep in place what you have had sitting there for lifetimes to come? Do you think we are just going to be here forever? So I say knock off any critical thought right now that you may have about me, the orgs, your FSM, your auditor, anyone else, and contact us so we can help you. All you need to do is just reach once and we can help. LRH was very clear on what we need to do- obviously in some way you are out of agreement with that. That again, is an outpoint, and we can help you with that.

You're waiting because of money? Or for your wife to do it first or for you to strike it rich? It will not happen without your decision to go up the levels. That is the truth. You owe it to yourself, your family, and to mankind to move and move NOW.

In closing, this is not going to happen often. I am only doing this again because some of you did not show. I hope to see you on September 28th at 11:30am at the AOLA atrium for a second chance. There will be brunch served, free of course! Do this for yourself- just blow through whatever it is that is sitting there, and just come. It's not going to kill you- I promise!

Much love,
Leah Remini

Monday, January 28, 2008

Bird pwns Journalist

It's Monday everyone! Yay! Maybe this video of a bird taking a crap inside of a journalist's mouth will brighten your day. It might also make you sick to your stomach. It could go either way. It's not as graphic as the "Two Girls One Cup" video (I don't think anything ever will be), but the journalist's reaction after getting a mouthful of bird poop is just precious. I'm still grinning and it's not even 7 AM yet. See, already my day is better.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Sunday Search Terms

Another week, another batch of search terms. This one is specially more wrong than usual, including some searches that I really should have left out. But, I don't discriminate when it comes to posting these things. It is not specifically for me to censor your searches. I'll shake my head in disgust, but hey, what can I do.

ashanti bikini - AOL Search
anne hathaway masterbate on bed - Google Search
cloverfield monster - Google Search DE
megan fox and mafia - CNN Search
biel bikini - Earthlink Search
sharon stone's crotch picture - Google Search AU
lily allen anal - Yahoo Search
britney spears - BlogSearch
upskirt - BlogSearch
joe strummer & the mescaleros mp3 - BlogSearch BR
phillipine blogger - Google Search
boob slip - Releton Search
gwen stefani bikini - AltaVista Search
Katharine “no bra” McPhee - Yahoo Search UK
gymnast boob slip pics - Google Search
"Pirates of the Caribbean sinful comics" - Google Search SG
nippleslip downblouse - Google Search TR
www.totally - Google Search - Google Search
St.Emilia's mothers in law - Google Search
"ramen noodles diet" - Google Search
rape scene - AOL Search
boob slips - MSN Search
children bikini - Ok.Hu Search
"francis bean cobain msn" - Google Search BR
Extreme Nipples - Comcast Search
brooke hogan nip slip pictures - Yahoo Search
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++" if i were a pedophile" - Google Search
google generation diseases tom - Google Search
www,sharone stone nipple slip &full nude photos - Yahoo Search
Hermione muff shot - Google Search
top boobs view - MSN Search
bafw - Google Search
cloverfield monster screencap - Netscape Search
kate bosworth nude - Comcast Search
hulk hogan - MSN Search
brooke hogan - MSN Search
amanda bynes boobs - Comcast Search
candid utube upskirt pic - Google Search
brooke hogan imagesize:large - MSN Search
disorders pub how balance - Google Search
dictionary lonestar - Google Search
giant areolas - Google Search
tom selleck very sexy photos - Google Search CA
underwear boys videoclips - Google Search ES
olsen twins bikini - AOL Search
underwear boys videoclips - Google Search ES
Charlotte Ross - MSN Search
ashley judd cameltoe - AOL Search
kim kardashian, one piece bathing suit, locate - Yahoo Search

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Britney Spears: Nipples at Petco

When I think of Petco, I don't usually think about nipples. I think about pet food and the such (actually, I need to head on out there to get something for my dog. See! Petco = pet stuff. Now, where was I). But then again, wherever Britney Spears goes, inappropriate fashion faux-pas's tend to follow her relentlessly. The see-through shirt she's wearing pretty much reveals everything that's going on under there. Can't she tell that everyone around her is noticing? She crazy. And why is that one tit pointing downwards? Man, Britney's a mess.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Opening Weekend Movies - 1/25/2008

Meet the Spartans - Parody movies still keep coming out. Maybe because the humor that they draw upon is basically comprised of cheap shots and sight gags. But, this movie will most likely draw in the younger, teenage crowd. This movie, like the latest batch of parody movies, really stopped appealing to after I finished with high school. Maybe it's some sort of rite of passage. When you're done with regular education and move on to higher education, your taste in movies matures just a little bit. Another reason I might not want to watch this is because it looks terrible. It could go either way.

Rambo - Motherfucking John Rambo is back. Do I even have to say anything else? Other than the movie looks bad ass, even though Sylvester Stallone might need a walker in a couple of years. How old is that guy? He's still friggin built like a bull. The video below is not the slightly pussy-fied version that's been floating around your television screens and before movie previews. This video is the head-chopping, machine gun blasting to bits, jugular-destroying and almost rape video that came out in May of 2007. I really want to see this movie.

Untraceable - This movie has been described as "Silence of the Lambs" for the internet age. That's quite the high praise. But, is it deserved? I don't know. I'm not going to find out until they play it on cable. It ain't no "Rambo" . . . and, this might be a spoiler . . . but from the looks of the trailer, it's Tom Hanks' kid that's the killer. It has to be. I could (possibly) see that from a mile away. Colin Hanks is always the bad guy.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

WBC Eulogy for Heath Ledger

The classy folks at the Westboro Baptist Church put this little press release out honoring the passing of Heath Ledger on Tuesday, January 22nd. Wait, did I say honoring? Because, after looking a little bit closer, it sounds like a hate filled, ignorant, anti-gay rant fueled by religious fervor about an issue no one really knows the facts about. Who knows for sure that God hates fags? Does anyone personally know God? Like, do you kick it with him and talk about issues like homosexuality? No. It's all interpretation on a book that was written thousands of years ago. But, don't try to use reason when you're talking to someone blinded by charismatic pastors and their anti-gay rhetoric. If you click on the picture, you'll see it a little more clearly. I think they even left a phone number in there along with their website so you can contact them and tell them how you feel about this little press release. I encourage you to contact them. And Heath Ledger wasn't even gay. He just played one in "Brokeback Mountain". It's called acting, WBC. Have Jerry O'Connell explain it to you.

Jerry O'Connell Spoofs Tom Cruise

Funny or Die has this video up of Jerry O'Connell, who I think is currently surviving off of "Sliders" royalties, doing a spot on impersonation of Tom Cruise on those weird Scientology Medal of Valor videos that were leaked last week. It's pretty good. I think this might get Jerry O'Connell some work. And it might get his brother some work as well, you know, What's-his-name O'Connell. I think he might have been in one of the seasons of "The Bachelor". Whatever. Watch the video. The Church of Making Fun of Tom Cruise commands it!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Heath Ledger, 1979 - 2008

Heath Ledger was found dead today. My wife just told me she saw it being reported at her work's elevator. Weird how one finds these things out sometimes. CNN has the developing story up at their website. Check it out for more details. Ledger was 28 at the time of his passing, and it's presumed to be an overdose. You can also check out his IMDB page for more of his work.

Amy Winehouse Smoking Crack

Oh Amy Winehouse . . . seriously? How retarded does drugs make you? You might as well have asked the local "bobbies" to join you while you sparked up your pipe full of crack-cocaine.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Eva Mendes Televises Sideboob & Nipslip

Eva Mendes must be some sort of overachiever, because, usually you don't see a nipslip and a sideboob happen all at once during the same post. But, if you're Eva Mendes, you go pedal to the metal when making sure the world can see things that should be relegated to an R-rated movie. Speaking of which . . . I think we see more skin from Eva outside of the movies than in the movies. I can't think of a single movie she's been in where Eva Mendes does nudity. Please, let me know if you've seen it so I can see this accomplished thespian bare something for the sake of art. In the meantime, check out the pictures here. I think that top was designed for just this particular type of reveal.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Leelee Sobieski Upskirts her Way into the Spotlight

Some of you might be wondering just who the hell Leelee Sobieski is. I know, so was I for a second before I remembered who she was. She hasn't been in the spotlight recently. I mean, if you count Uwe Boll's latest "masterpiece" as "work", then you might have seen her. From the looks of these pictures though, it might seem like she's finally figured out a way to drum up some press for herself. You know, so we could all, collectively, remember her. They say there's no such thing as bad publicity. Specially when it involves upskirts. We love 'em around here. Even if the upskirted individual (hopefully a lady like Leelee Sobieski) decides to wear underpants. I mean, not everyone can be Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Britney Spears Upskirt Update

Enough about Britney Spears' legal troubles. I know what you people really want to see. Britney Spears getting out of a car and showing her delicate meat curtains. Because, as you know, underpants are her most feared enemy. So, here you go. Recent pictures of Britney Spears wearing a super short skirt and fishnet stockings . . . without underwear. You can't really see very clearly what's going on with Britney's no-no parts in the picture to the right, but you can see it better if you take a closer look at the 2nd picture posted on this entry. The 3rd picture just shows more ass, which, for some reason, people out there still want to see. Your searches baffle me beyond belief. Enough me, more Britney below.

Search Terms - Searching for the Weekend

Another weekend, another search terms list. It's pretty early right now, so this post will have to do without me attempting to be clever in some way. It's just past 5 AM on a Saturday morning and I have to be at work in less than an hour. So, feel my pain and empathize for once. Or, you could start buying stuff off the banner ads I have strewn about this blog. Maybe then I wouldn't need to work so much. Just a thought, mull it over.

natalie portman upskirt - AOL Search
chicks in tank tops - Earthlink Search
olivia munn nude - AOL Search
knightley panties - AOL Search
sport nipple - Ok.Hu Search
boob slips - MSN Search
megan fox nip slip - Yahoo Search
bikinis preteen - AOL Search
natalie portman fake - Ok.Hu Search
nsfw skirt videos - Google Search
BAFW - Google Search CA
nsfw celeb oops videos - Google Search
Casey - Yahoo Search
jon spencer blues explosion xtra acme - BlogSearch
brooke hogan nipple - Yahoo Search
cloverfield - BlogSearch
janice dickinson - AOL Search
ciera hermaphrodite - Google Search UK
"rachel weisz farts" - Google Search DE
peeing panties clips - Virgin Media Search
Sexy Lactation - MSN Search
Katharine McPhee nipples - Google Search
"Emma Watson's Feet" - Google Search UK
lorelai rory incest fic - Google Search DE
halo porn - MSN Search
Brooke Hogan - MSN Search
crazy camel toes - AOL Search
claudia schiffer topless - AOL Search
scarlett johanssen - AOL Search
gymnastics crotch slip - Google Search
"ashley tisdale"nipple - Google Search
"Emma Watson's legs" - Google Search
starware search - Google Search
gretchen palmer nude - Comcast Search
Katharine McPhee nude - MSN Search
milla jovovich nipples - Earthlink Search
slipping pics - Google Search
Jennifer Love Hewitt - Ok.Hu Search
katherine mcphee clip legs - Google Search
tisdale - AOL Search
posh spice - AOL Search
wet armpits - AOL Search
mature toes - AOL Search
gwen stefani bikini - Yahoo Search
gymnast showing vagina - AOL Search
black celebs nip slip - AOL Search
janice dickinson nude - Comcast Search
NHO nipple hard on - Yahoo Search
jake gyllenhaal smoking - AltaVista Search
hot hispanic wife - AOL Search
Cindy Crawford - AOL Search
+nude +skating.wmv - Google Search SE
tom cruise blogs are for wusses - Google Search
cloverfield toy - BlogSearch
upskirt - BlogSearch
Billy Zane - BlogSearch
"britney muff shot" - Google Search

I do have to say that the AOL searches really made me chuckle this week. Fucking AOL'ers. What is wrong with you people?

Friday, January 18, 2008

Ah! Run for your Lives!

No, it's not the final reveal of the "Cloverfield" monster. It's actually Amy Winehouse running around the streets of some town (doesn't even matter) with packets of sauce in her hands. Why? Because it's Amy Winehouse. Duh. What else would she be doing. Curing cancer? If the cure for cancer is found in a line of cocaine, I'm sure she's bound to find it eventually.

Opening Weekend Movies - 1/18/2008

27 Dresses - Total chick flick. Katherine Heigl plays the forever bridesmaid who finds love with Cyclops from the X-Men movie. I think his name is James Mardsen. I think. The trailer will possibly disclose his name. Who cares. I have zero interest in this. My wife, on the other hand, has a platonic crush on Heigl, and probably will want to see this either in the theaters or on DVD. All I know is that I will eventually watch this movie, wether I want to or not. Hell, if she continues on this Heigl crush, we might even pick up the "Roswell" TV show on DVD. Who knows. Trailer below to satiate your chick-flick needs.

Cloverfield - OMG it's finally here. I love giant monster terrorizing people movies. Almost as much as I like zombie flicks. Which is why, "Cloverfield" is my pick of the week. And thankfully, my wife is fully on board with watching this movie. We're going to check this out tomorrow, after I get out of work (ugh . . Saturday? at work? What the fuck is happening to me?) early, to avoid the crowds. And I hope there are crowds that go see this. J.J. Abrams needs a solid theatrical hit right now, even though he's only producing this movie. The trailer makes it look amazing. You might have already seen it here, but check it out again anyway.

Mad Money - I watched half of the trailer for this movie, and I had to stop myself from shooting the computer. With my imaginary gun. I'd never shoot you computer . . . you're my only friend. Um . . . oh yeah, "Mad Money". Diane Keaton, Queen Latifah (does she have a first name?) and Katie Holmes concoct a plan to steal money that's about to be destroyed in an effort to recycle the money. So, in a sense, it's a chick-empowering heist movie with conservationist undertones. Or, as I like to call it . . . garbage. Watch the trailer and see for yourself.

More Scientology Fun Times!

These Scientology videos pop-up and then get taken down almost faster than Scientology can take credit for anything lately. Just check out the video. Apparently, Tom Cruise saved a bunch of firemen in New York after 9/11. I guess he established some sort of detox center because everyone around ground zero had a cough. And he didn't ask permission. Because, being a Scientologist means you never have to ask for permission. Which is why their lawyers just tear down these videos. They don't ask nicely. They just do it. And doing it, according to the previous video I attempted to display here, is what Scientology is all about.

Here's another video of Tom Cruise accepting the Medal of Valor award during one of these secretive conclave meetings. I thought there'd me more orgy and emptying of bank accounts . . . but that's just me. And is it me, or do they talk in code most of the time. Using made up words that L. Ron Hubbard dreamt up for one of his sci-fi novels? What is wrong with these kooky bastards.

Oh, and I don't know how long these videos will last, so get your Scientology on while they still work.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

"The Hills" Have Upskirt

Audrina Patridge is one of those chicks from that "reality" show "The Hills", which is kind of like a sequel to "Laguna Beach", and it's totally not fake. Like, for truth and stuff. Who is MTV kidding by the way. From what I've seen, clips on shows like "Best Week Ever" and "The Soup", the show is probably closer to fiction than reality. And it's not always great fiction. But, enough about that, what we have here is actual reality. Audrina Patridge has been caught exiting a vehicle, the sexy way. Upskirt first. When will these people learn. Extreme close up at the end of these words. Because, extreme close-ups are sexy and classy.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Oh . . . OK?

So, we have to do it. Because, not doing it won't make our world a better place . . . but dammit if it isn't a rough & tumble helluv'a fun ride. At least I think that's what Tom Cruise is trying to explain to us. Because, I just watched that thing . . . and I'm still confused.

Fuck you Tom Cruise.

And fuck Scientology.


It would seem the forces of Scientology don't want you to see the video I posted yesterday. That's fine. Whatever. There's still this video below where Tom Cruise bashes Psychology. Probably because Psychology doesn't believe that an alien entity named Xenu was banished to our volcanoes in space-faring jumbo jets. That's just a theory though.

2nd UPDATE: Gawker has the video that was brought down by Scientology and they're not removing it from their site. Head on out there and check out the insanity if you already haven't

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Brad Renfro, 1982 - 2008

I just read Brad Renfro passed away within the past couple of days. I don't remember liking much of what he did as an actor, but I do remember the movie "Apt Pupil" being extremely good. has more info about this:
The 25-year-old actor was found dead at his Los Angeles home this morning. The cause of death has not been determined, however, Renfro had a history of drug abuse.

Sources tell us Renfro, who had starring roles in "The Client" and "Apt Pupil" had been working valiantly to stay clean, especially since this summer. Renfro had been convicted of several drug offenses, including attempted heroin possession.

Renfro had been filming a movie with Winona Ryder and Billy Bob Thornton. The movie, "The Informers," just wrapped.

Renfro has had a rough time personally since moving from Tennessee to Los Angeles. His parents split, and we're told he did not have real guidance from adults as he tried navigating the treacherous movie industry.
I don't do much posts about people dying, because . . . it's not something that I find funny, so, I'm not making any jokes here. Check out his filmography here at his IMDB page. I really hope the makers of "The Informers" keep it classy and don't include this in their marketing for the movie. 'Cause that, would be teh suck.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Diary of the Dead Trailer

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"Diary of the Dead" is a movie that I am definitely looking forward to seeing this year. I didn't think that I would actually see the trailer for it on a MySpace page (ugh, I feel a little icky. Like I have e-VD or something), but whatever. I'll do anything for Romero zombie action. I've noticed that the "found film" genre is resurfacing after being absent since "The Blair Witch Project". Both this movie and "Cloverfield" are hoping to cash in on our forgetting of how sub-par that first movie to catapult this into our consciousness actually was. Maybe I'm over thinking this. Fuck it, it's Romero and in my eyes, when it comes to zombies, he can do no wrong.

Cloverfield Monster Fan Renderings

The "Cloverfield" movie comes out this weekend, but it already has had some screenings around the nation, and fans are now showing us what the monster will look like once the movie hits theaters this Friday. /Film has all of the pictures of fan submitted art, so head there if you want more pictures. I just pulled the best two, in my opinion.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Opening Weekend Movies - 01/11/2008 (W/Trailers!)

The Bucket List - A movie about dying old men getting their to-do lists in order. Yeah, sounds fascinating, if I were also really old and had shit to do before I kicked the bucket (see what I did there . . . jokes and jokes and jokes). It does have Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman in it, so . . . chances are it's going to contain some top-notch acting from these veteran (haha, another old man joke) actors, but it still does nothing for me as far as making me want to watch this. Here's the trailer for the movie. In case it's blitzkrieg-style television ad campaign managed to miss you.

First Sunday - Does Ice Cube do anything other than collect paychecks anymore? And what's with the days of the week being incorporated into all of his movies? Is the sequel (and you know there will be one) going to be called "The Second Sunday"? Ice Cube can suck it. And so can Tracy Morgan, who's also in this movie about a couple of petty criminals trying to rob their local church. I'm guessing that they see the light some time during the movie, and end up not robbing the church. Who cares. Trailer, watch it if you want.

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale - This is the movie I'm getting all giddy about this week. Not because I think it'll be any good at all. I mean, it's a Uwe Boll movie. Notice how they fail to mention that. Nowhere in the marketing for this movie do they try the whole "From the acclaimed director of 'Alone in the Dark' and 'House of the Dead'". No friggin way anyone would see that if that's how they were selling this. Nah, they're using Jason Statham to try to sell tickets to this turd fest. And they should. Statham is doing pretty well for himself. I'm not sure what bet he lost that landed him a role in this, but people should pay to see this just to experience something that is truly a cinematic piece of shit. Check out the trailer.

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A Veggie Tales Movie - What. The. Fuck? Why would they make a movie about pirates that didn't do anything. If I wanted to see something like this, well . . . fuck it, I don't want to see anything like this so I'm not going to waste brain cells trying to conjure up a scenario where I would want to watch this. Fuck Veggie Tales and their Christian agenda. This movie is pissing me off so much that I'm not going to post the trailer for it. Hah, take that, Pirates that won't do anything. What repercussions are you going to bring upon me. Nada. Zilch. Bupkiss. That's what I thought.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Cloverfield Monster - First Look? (Spoiler?)

I'm very excited about the "Cloverfield" movie coming out this year. All the trailers and the commercials just keep getting me pumped about it. But, until now, we hadn't actually seen what the monster looks like. Leave it to the internets and its many spies to find that out for you though. What you see above is a toy. Wether it's a prototype for a "Cloverfield" toy-line . . . I don't know. But Movieweb is claiming that this is, indeed, the "Cloverfield" monster. Take it with a grain of salt, of course. I can't wait to see this in all of it's CG vs handheld camera action.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Zach Galifianakis & Michael Cera Video

This video just speaks for itself. Watch it. There's tickling involved. And it's kind of gay . . . but in a good way? These guys are hilarious. Thank you "Funny or Die", your shit's always the . . . shit?

Heidi Montag "Topless" in Maxim

In the realm of attention-whoring wastes of space, you can't compete with Heidi Montag. Who else has pretty much every aspect of their life be something that is fabricated and tailored to be one giant publicity machine. Everything from the fake "reality" show she's on, to the fake relationship she has, to her now fake body. She has become a complete media-whore . . . and I don't think she's ready to stop this. And now, there's this Maxim issue that comes out in February (or now, I don't know, I haven't picked up a Maxim in close to half a decade), where she's topless . . . but not really. Sure, at one point in time, she actually is not wearing a top, but she's still covering it up. I get that it's Maxim and not Playboy. I know the difference, but if she's going to commit to actually show up on print, not wearing a top, then she might as well go all the way. Why get fake breasts in the first place, right? More pictures of Heidi below this paragraph. They're OK, if you're into chicks with no soul and granny panties.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Search Terms - First of 2008

The weird search terms ending up here trend continues in 2008. Nothing much really changes around here. I know that mentioning this, in turn, sets off a brand new batch of strangely perverse internet searches that will, once again, end up here. Vicious circle. I get it. But, sometimes, they might actually find what they're looking for. Plus, it takes up space, which is always great when I don't have anything else to talk about for the day.

inphyy topless - Google Search UK - Google Search ES
french gymnast pees - Google Search CA
celebrity camel toe - Comcast Search
Lindsay Lohan risque - Comcast Search
Katharine Mcphee Nipples - SweetIM Search
kim kardashian free nude - MyWay Search
video "so you think you can dance" rip my heart out zombie skit - Yahoo Search
Emma Watson getting wedgies - Google Search
forever james franco - Yahoo Search
"snakes from space" - Google Search FI
victoria recano nip slip - Yahoo Search
scarlett johanssen - AOL Search
pissing girl - MSN Search
avril lavigne hot - MSN Search
"louise+banks"+up+skirt - Google Search UK
avril lavigne sexy - MSN Search
kim kardashian pictures - Google Search DK
alien rape - Ok.Hu Search
kim kardashian full video blogspot - Google Search AU
hermione granger nude fake - Google Search FR
katherine mcphee panty shot - Yahoo Search
boob - AOL Search
slip - AOL Search
kim kardashian playboy - AOL Search
olivia munn nipple - Yahoo Search "lindsey lohan nipple" - Google Search
down blouse - Comcast Search
kim kardashian exsposed nude - Avantfind Search
"linsey lohan bare" - Google Search
hostel nudity pictures - Google Search CA
cheerleader nip slips - AOL Search
kristin cavalleri pumping gas video - Yahoo Search
upskirt - Netscape Search
Sexual Intercourse - AOL Search
ciera hermaphrodite - Google Search
crank yankers kimmel dildo double-ended - Google Search
jaime lee curtis weight loss - Yahoo Search
petra nemcova topless - Yahoo Search
crankgooglesearch - Yahoo Search
jessica alba perfect waist to hip ratio - Yahoo Search

Penelope Cruz + Lesbian Kiss + Incest! = Hot?

Penelope Cruz just did a music video for her brother, Eduardo Cruz's hot track “Cosas Que Contar.” She kisses another girl in that video, an idea cooked up by her brother to drum up a little controversy. But, in a move of sheer genius that I would only have thought to come from someone of Japanese descent, the other girl Penelope is kissing is . . . her sister, Monica Cruz. I'll let that settle for a second before you check out the next picture.

The Spanish are fucking crazy. But . . . despite this being wrong on that whole incest level . . . it's kind of hot seeing sexy chicks making out. Hey, they're not my sisters. So, all's fair.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Britney Spears Officially Self-Destructing

I don't post much on Saturdays . . . except for this Saturday that is . . . but let's get back on track. So, when I woke up this morning, and I was enjoying my daily rounds (visiting choice websites), I came across this story, and at first I was like "Holy Fuck!" . . . but then, my mindset quickly changed, and I started to think to myself: "It's about time something like this happened". In case you're not in the know, here's OK Magazine's time line of events.
7 p.m.: K-Fed's security team arrives to pick up boys Sean Preston and Jayden James and bring them back to their father's house. When there is a delay in releasing the boys, Britney's assistant, Carla, makes excuses for the pop star. However, it soon becomes clear that there is a problem.
At some point, 2-year-old Sean Preston is removed from the house, leaving only little Jayden inside with his mother.

8 p.m.: The police are notified of a custodial situation at Britney's house and officers are dispatched to The Summit. But when they arrive, they find that the court-appointed monitor, who has been locked out of the house, is not in possession of the paperwork required to allow them to enter Britney's house.

9:20 p.m.: K-Fed's lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan arrives at The Summit with the required paperwork. He and five police cars enter the gated community and drive up to Britney's house.

10:30 p.m.: More than a dozen police officers, as well as two ambulances and a handful of fire rescue trucks are now on the scene. Sometime before 11 p.m., Britney's cousin Alli and Brit's assistant Carla leave the house, leaving Brit alone with Jayden James.

11:45 p.m.: Britney is taken out of her home strapped to a gurney and placed into an ambulance, which is escorted by 13 police cars with sirens blaring to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, arriving at approximately 12:30 a.m. Jayden is brought to the hospital in a separate vehicle.
I'm pretty sure it's official. Britney Spears has finally lost it.

I read other reports that there might have been a suicide attempt during the whole ordeal. And why not. It's Britney Spears. At this point, I'm going to let an expert on the subject give "his" opinion on this. It might be an old video, but I think it still applies.

Thank you Chris Crocker. I think you've put it all in perspective for us.

Kelly Brook Topless

Remember that bikini mega post from a couple of days ago? When I said that I didn't know what Kelly Brook does, but she was in a bikini and hanging out with a super-bald Billy Zane? Well, I still don't know what she's doing as far as why anyone would care who she is. But, there's a twist. Now, she's topless at the beach. And there's no Billy Zane in sight, so feel free to whip it out, because there's no way you're going to accidentally masturbate to a picture that has Billy Zane in it. Unless you want to. Which is weird. Why the fuck would you want to do that? Get help, seriously. One more picture, to help me wipe that image out of my head. *shakes head*

It Came From Japan! - Tenga Cup

The Japanese are rapidly becoming my favorite people . . . ever! They've given me anime, weird fetish videos and now . . . the Tenga Vagina in a cup contraption. Yes, it's an intricate sex toy that is supposed to mimic vaginas (kind of like a higher-tech "Fleshlight") and, as a bonus, I think fellatio as well. That's cocksucking to the laymen out there. In case it's hard to read the caption on the picture above, here it is:
Special valves create a virtual vacuum inside the cup, to deliver an amazing sucking sensation.And, the unique pinched-in shape helps to achieve an unparalleled tightness.These advanced features combine with an arousing “slurping” sound and vibration to give you the feeling that you’re enjoying a real deep throat experience.
This particular model pictured in this post is the "Deep Throat" cup, but you can check out all of the other cup models at the Tenga Website. I'm not sure if the actual product is ready for sale right now, but I'm sure you perverts can reserve a unit or two in advance. One more picture, for the spec-geeks out there. The inner workings of the cup are detailed below.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Fergie Doesn't Understand Ugly-Friend Equation

Fergie seems a little confused about the whole "have ugly friends so that when you stand next to them you look better by comparison" equation. Here she is, trying to look like a woman in a bikini, and she's got a couple of just as fugly as her friends standing next to her. For her to actually look better, she should have found a beached whale that had been sitting around the beach, rotting, for a couple of weeks. Slap a two-piece swimsuit on that carcass, stand next to it, and voila! Fergie would be hot. But as it stands right now . . . Fergie and her friends just look like a rabid pack of butterfaces.

Jennifer Aniston Continues Bikini Trend

Here at BAFW, we like to believe that people are multi-faceted. Every one has different sides that might be similar or polar opposites. Jennifer Aniston is one of those people. But, BAFW is only currently listing 2 facets for Jennifer Aniston. Her good side, and her bad side. The picture to the right is her bad side. And I'm only posting this picture so you can believe it is actually her when we show her good side. Which would be, any side not showing her face. Plus, the other side of Jennifer Aniston seems to have spent a few days with either a wedgie firmly entrenched in her ass-crack, and it's always fun to see chicks try to pull it out. So, enough about. You want the pictures focusing on Jennifer Aniston's ass. Ask and you shall receive.

Opening Weekend Movies - 1/04/2008

One Missed Call - I should really re-title this post "Opening Weekend Movie", because "One Missed Call" is really the only brand new movie to open wide this weekend. Sure, "Juno" is finally in wide release, but that movie's been around for at least a month. And you still haven't watched it yet? For shame. As for this movie . . . it's one of those Japanese horror film re-makes that's PG-13 so it can scare the whole family. Nothing really notable other than it marks the return of Shannyn Sossamon to the big screen. I haven't seen her around in too much, and she's a super-hottie that should be getting more work. She's pretty much one of the few reasons I own "A Knight's Tale".

And just because nothing else is happening in this post, here's the trailer for "One Missed Call". Don't let the mouth-eye people get you!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

2008 Bikini Mega-Post

Kourtney Kardashian
Holy crap, it's only a couple of days into 2008 and celebrities (well, at least some of them are true celebrities) are out and about in their bikinis. And just where the fuck are these people. Isn't it fucking cold where you are? Yeah, same here. And it's supposed to rain today as well. Anyway, first up is Kim Karda . . . wait? That's a different Kardashian right? Kourtney Kardashian? Whatever. I think this particular Kardashian is famous for being the sister of a chick who is famous for having a big ass and a sex-tape. Oh, and she's also in a ridiculous show on E!. Does it really matter though? She's in a bikini, and I guess that's good enough for BAFW. One more picture of her.

Kelly Brook
I think I'm going to post these pictures in order of relevance. So, Kourtney Kardashian was lowest on the list, so it goes first, and now it's followed by Kelly Brook. Kelly who? She's apparently big in the U.K. for . . . acting? Possibly? I should do some more thorough background checks before posting. But, there is an actual American celebrity hanging out with her. I'm pretty sure they're romantically engaged. Billy Zane can be seen in the picture below. And, he's rocking the Friar Tuck look. Right on Billy Zane. Righteous Piousness!

Christian Milian
Next up is someone you might have heard about. Christina Milian. She's an R&B singer. That's all I have. Here she is, defying the season known as winter, in a bikini, hanging out at the beach. That's pretty much all I have to say about her. She looks OK. I'm not too much into R&B, but it's a popular musical genre, so people might actually be looking for these pictures.

Elisha Cuthbert
And last, but not least, is Elisha Cuthbert. Who happens to have the best set of bikini pictures today. Nevermind that it looks like she picked her bikini in the dark, wearing those bug-eyed sunglasses. And that haircut that just confuses me. The bikini she's wearing lets us take a gander at that awesome Nipple-Hard-On (NHO) she's sporting. NHO's are some of my favorite things to see, so thank you Elisha Cuthbert. I'm also fairly convinced that if you blow up the picture, and study it carefully, you might also get to see some camel-toe. But even if it's not there, you still get the spectacular NHO action.

Bikini'd Cougar Update

Nicollette Sheridan . . . is it time to put some clothes on again? Seriously, grandmother (in the great state of Kentucky) aged ladies should be a little more demure. But here you are, hanging out with the young celebrities, actually managing to look a little better than them. And that would be quite the achievement, if I couldn't get out of my head that you're like 50 something? Or are you already an octogenarian? What is your secret to staying forever young? Is it eating aborted baby fetuses? 'Cause I needs to get me a recipe for that. It's all in the stem cells . . . right? Delicious youth providing stem cells.

Is it me, or does that guy look like he's going to pee on her . . . and she's getting ready for it. And she doesn't mind it. OMG, I think I just turned this site into one of those granny porn sites.

And hey everybody, look, it's Michael Bolton. He's still alive? And banging Nicollette Sheridan? Impressive.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Courtney Cox Booty-Slip

Ex-"Friends" star, Courteney Cox, was recently photographed having a good time in her bikini. Just another day being a super-rich celebrity, right? But(t), this day would be different. The ever watchful paparazzi were hanging around, with their telephoto lenses, and they managed to catch the picture below of Courteney Cox handling a wedgie a little too extremely. So effective she was in removing the bikini bottom from her ass-crack that she pulled it down all the way, showing the world her slightly older, but I'm sure still desirable to those who own every season of "Friends" on DVD, booty.

Thanks to the efforts of Courteney Cox and Lily Allen, 2008 is shaping up to be a rather ass-tastic year.

*Thank you, those watermarked pictures are ever so classy.
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