Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Nudity on the Internets?!!

I was going through the e-mail inbox at work, looking to help people like I always do because I am so altruistic and shit, and I come accross this message. And it shocked me. What? You can see naked people on the internet??!! When did this happen!!
i was looking up info on dogs @ 4:46 a.m. on 5/31/06 w/my computer set for NO NUDITY!!!!, when all of a sudden, up pops the entire screen covered w/ people naked in different sex positions! I think it was an add to sell sex things, but whatever it was for, I am not positive, I am angry! I bought the protection and this comes through! I am a christian myself and do not want to see that, nor would my husband want me to, visa vera (Edit - what?). In addition, we have four children. I would send the attachment, but there was certainly no way in the world I would leave that up for one more second! I couldn't believe my eyes! I went straight to my Xxxxx settings to double check them and they were all in check... no nudity allowed in ANY persons signing in (Edit - Does she mean no one can log in while nude?)....teen or otherwise. Please advise of what the problem is with your software that allowed this. There is inappropriate internet material, but not nudity, that has come up. I don't believe in just the inappropriate material/ads having to
get through even, but they say they "have to". But this!!!! Xxxxx sold me this product, telling me it was the best... My protection always says it is low. It is always popping up... I don't know why. I do full scans. It stops us from getting into certain sites, like ecards even. So what is the problem? Please advise. I apologize for sounding smart, but I am very upset.
Ma'am, no need to apologize. You don't sound smart at all. Her husband has no need for seeing nudity on the internet? What most likely happened here is that some adware/spyware was loaded onto her computer while someone was browsing through free tours of porno websites. Hmm, I wonder whom that might be . . . Maybe her uber-Christian husband. El Oh El.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

X-Men: The Last Waffle

If you went to see the movie this past weekend, and since it made 120 million dollars, chances are you did, you might not have seen the scene above. Yeah, this is what was playing after the credits. So, if you thought that Magneto moving a metal chess piece without touching it after he got hit with 4 cure syringes (not just one, FOUR!!) was not enough to tell you that this is not the last X-Men movie, then this should. I mean, what else do the producers need to do? Tattoo it to your forehead?

Anyway, this scene ties back to scene towards the beginning of the movie, where Charles Xavier was debating the ethics of using one's powers to inhabit a comatose body. I guess getting disintegrated by the "Phoenix" force changed his stand on that. I would have liked the movie to have stood by it's decisions instead of waffle on them like it did. The whole thing was practically a vehicle to eliminate actors whose contracts did not take them past a 3rd movie.

Memorial Box Office Mutant Mayhem

This is what happens when you only have 1 movie opening in wide release on a weekend like Memorial Day. X-Men, despite being the low point for the "trilogy" had no competition, and pretty much kicked ass even though it deserved a good kick in the ass for shitting on the source material and then not having the balls to stick by its decisions. Tom Hanks and his weird hair configuration take #2 spot this weekend and the CG animated animals of Over the Hedge get the #3 spot. These three movies have a combined take of close to $200 million on their own.

The rest of the list pretty much dips under the $10 million mark, with MI:III starting to show that it might need its thetans re-aligned, Poseidon sinks a little lower, and RV is running out of gas. See No Evil is seeing no cash, Just My Luck proves to be unlucky and reaffirms Brandon Davis's opinion of Lindsey Lohan . . . if she keeps this up . . . she will only be left with $7 million, which basically makes her "really poor".

United 93 is circling towards the bottom of the countdown, making it's final approach to DVD land, and An American Haunting keeps poltergeist'ing the #10 spot. Who you gonna call?

1. X-Men: The Last Stand - $120,125,000
2. The Da Vinci Code - $43,000,000
3. Over the Hedge - $35,342,000
4. Mission: Impossible III - $8,567,000
5. Poseidon - $7,000,000
6. RV - $5,300,000
7. See No Evil - $3,200,000
8. Just My Luck - $2,300,000
9. United 93 - $1,054,000
10.An American Haunting - $937,000

Edit - Wow, a movie in the top ten that has a total take for the weekend that is less than a million dollars?? What is this? 1965?

Monday, May 29, 2006

The Death of Trade-Ins

I remember a time that people could buy games and then, in a month or two, when they got tired of them, they could go to the local videogame shop and trade them in for store credit. Now, it feels more like store charity. I went to an Electronic's Boutique today, looking to hock a few games that were a little on the old side. One of them was an XBOX 360 game. They rang them all up and then told me what I would get for the 7 games I brought in. Thirty bucks.

What! The guy went through the list of prices for the games. A couple of them were worth a buck, a couple were worth 4 bucks, and the 360 game (Perfect Dark Zero) was only 10 bucks. That's pretty fucking terrible if you ask me. I was expecting to get maybe enough to get a new game (Fight Night Round 3). So, I gathered up my pathetic resale-value games and took off.

So, I decided to check out what was out there as an alternative to cycle through a large amount of games. I mean, playing Burnout Revenge is great and all . . . but I need a little variety. I checked out and they have a 14.95/month for 2 games out at a time for the 1st month. Then, they start charging 21.95 thereafter. Sure, I have to return the games in order to get more, but that's pretty much what was going to happen anyway, and this way I don't get screwed on the return price. Seriously, a fucking dollar for a game I payed 50 bucks to get when it originally came out? Insane.

So, this is why I think the trade-in business is either in fast decline or just ready to hit rock bottom. It's just not a feasible option for people like myself. You know, people who don't make a ton of money (or I would if you people endorsed/patronized my advertisers). I just signed up for the service, it seems alright and all. I'll be getting in the mail Fight Night Round 3 & Farcry: Instincts Predator in a couple of days.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Spam E-mail?

I don't know what this e-mail that I got was all about . . . but I tell you, it was written better than the script to X-Men: The Last Stand. Let the words confound you . . .

"never opened the window except at night, and carefully kept the door shut. "Not one, on my honor. But if I have, I'll catch them. You wouldn't believe what a pleasure it is! How have you spent the day?" "Very well. But have you really been mowing the whole day? I expect you're as hungry as a wolf. Kouzma has got everything ready for you." "No, I don't feel hungry even. I had something to eat there. But I'll go and wash." "Yes, go along, go along, and I'll come to you directly," said Sergey Ivanovitch, shaking his head as he looked at his brother. "Go along, make haste," he added smiling, and gathering up his books, he prepared to go too. He, too, felt suddenly good-humored and disinclined to leave his brother's side. "But what did you do while it was raining?" "Rain? Why, there was scarcely a drop. I'll come directly. So you had a nice day too? That's first-rate." And Levin went off to change his clothes. Five minutes later the brothers met in the dining room. Although it seemed to Levin that he was not hungry, and he sat down to dinner simply so as not to hurt Kouzma's feelings, yet when he began to eat the dinner struck him as extraordinarily good. Sergey Ivanovitch watched him with a smile. "Oh, by the way, there's a letter for you," said he. "Kouzma, bring it down, please. And mind you shut the doors." The letter was from Oblonsky. Levin read it aloud. Oblonsky wrote to him from Petersburg: "I have had a letter from Dolly; she's at Ergushovo, and everything seems going wrong there. Do ride over and see her, please; help her with advice; you know all about it. She will be so glad to see you. She's quite alone, poor thing. My mother-in-law and all of them are still abroad." "That's capital! I will certainly ride over to her," said Levin. "Or we'll go together. She's such a splendid woman, isn't she?"

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Saturday Morning Search Terms

Well, let's clarify a little bit. The search terms listed in this post are not just from today, in the morning. I'm just posting them now. Not that anyone cares, since everyone ending up on this post was most likely looking for something they won't find. Aren't search engines wonderful. Click on the links in the post, it might just take you to what you are looking for . . . teehee.

Jake Gyllenhaal smoking - BlogSearch
cortana nipple - Google Search
natalie portman v dressed as schoolgirl - Google Search UK
glebova "fah" - Google Search CR
jeff foxorthy - Yahoo Search
shadow chronicles robotech harmony gold dvd release date tommy holiday release - Google Search
2006 panties - BlogSearch
looking for a plastic surgeon willing to donate his time and services to remake me - Google Search
footjob - BlogSearch
emma watson nude - BlogSearch BE
garfield a tail of two kittes trailer - Google Search
Katherine McPhee American Idol "see through dress" - Google Search CA
kelly brook at three movie premier - AOL Search UK
amanda bynes's - Yahoo Search
armpit of the actress in the underworld evolution - Google Search PH
morgan webb maxim interview - Google Search
katherine mcphee boob implant video high school drama class - Google Search
free hentai wmv OR mpg -you - BlogSearch
for leave feed back on bad name at halo2 will it make your account banned from matchmaking - Google Search
emma watson's boobies - Google Search
fhm emilie de ravin nude - Yahoo Search
"jennifer love hewitt" iglesias hero rain shirt - Google Search
brett ratner +hate - Google Search
"katherine mcphee doesn't wear a bra" - Google Search
Catherine McPHEE footjob - Google Search
nude video - BlogSearch FR
upskirt princess anne - Google Search FI
macbook pro - Technorati Search
evangeline lilly panties pictures - MSN Search - Google Search
lost recap blogs - Google Search
hairy cooter - BlogSearch
remi aubuchon (birthdate) - Yahoo Search
web site of people who enjoy being nude - Yahoo Search
anne hathaway nipple pictures - Google Search
superman returns trailer x3 - Google Search
actress exposed - BlogSearch
xbox 360 fightnight 03 - BlogSearch
"evangeline lily" peed - Google Search
Jennifer Love Hewitt green dress nip slip - Google Search
I hate Xmen 3 - Google Search
hot japanese nsfw - BlogSearch

Special thanks this week goes to a LiveJournal user that goes by the moniker of Jackal. Thanks for all the traffic generated by our mutual hate for Brett Ratner and the terrible things he wrought upon the X-Men franchise. I will be watching the X-Men: The Last Stand tonight. I might be moved enough to write a review. Chances are I'll be curled up in a fetal position instead though.

Friday, May 26, 2006

MacBook Pro - Nerd Love

There's an application you can download for Apple's new MacBooks that is motion sensitive, and when you move it, it creates sounds that . . . yes . . . sound like light-sabers. MacBooks are a Star War nerd's wet-dream. The Sal should get one, but he would have to get over his loathing of Apples . . . and other fruits.

In Theaters - Memorial Day Weekend

So much to choose from this weekend. It's like the movie studios decided to pound us silly with a flurry of theatrical releases . . . all great picks too. Actually, that's what's happening in Bizarro World right now. We're left with the following choices for new movies this weekend.

X-Men: The Last Stand: The last movie in the X-Men trilogy, and it has to end like this. Even if it's not as terrible as I think it's going to be, it will not be the movie my inner-nerd was waiting for. For starters, it's only 97 minutes long. Second, they got hack-du-jour Brett Ratner to direct it. Third, Wolverine is telling jokes left and right like he's Rodney Dangerfield with claws. The guy just can't get any cinematic respect I tell's ya. Being that this is the ONLY wide release opening of the weekend, expect it to do pretty good at the box office. I mean, what else are you going to go watch? The DaVinci Shite? Mission Scientology III? Just My Cocaine Addiction? Posei-boat-with-no-zombies?

Limited Releases (Synopsis copy/pasted from Yahoo! Movies).

Cavite - An American visiting the Philippines for his father's funeral learns his sister and mother have been kidnapped by a terrorist group.

An Inconvenient Truth -
A documentary about Al Gore's investigations into the science of global warming and efforts to curb worldwide climate change.

Lower City (Cidade Baixa) -
Two best friends with a small-time criminal enterprise in Brazil both fall in love with the same stripper.

Kate Moss - Paparazzi Smasher

I think I just developed a newfound respect for Kate Moss. Fuck the fact that she loves the nose candy, just look at her in these pictures. Normal celebrities don't just karate kick paparrazi's. They just walk around, trying to cover their faces, and move on. Kate is not normal. I just want to see the rest of the pictures. I can already picture her, in a PCP-fueled rage, standing over the bloodied bodies of those two unfortunate, camera toting vultures of pop media.

Nipple-Topia - More Paris Hilton

Oh Paris Hilton, you just can't go a week without your damn titties falling out. And it's not like they are terrifically huge and unmanageable. They're small, barely mosquito bites, and yet . . . here we are again, doing the same ol' dance. I think she's just on some sort of nipple-slip calendar. Maybe she's aware that it seems to extend her popularity past the 15 minute mark. Here she is, aparently shooting a video for her just recently delayed music CD . . . yeah . . . she's putting out a record. What? That's going right up next to my copy of K-Fed's album. Those two should be framed and hung over my mantle, just to class up the joint. I mean, there's nothing finer than wastes-of-human-space making sweet sweet music . . . that sends babies into epileptic shock. Below is the NSFW picture. If you want to see video of this (what, really, you want to watch it?), you can check out this link from AOL of all places.
All that money and she still can't afford a decent rack

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Descent One Sheet

I don't know what this movie is really about. Something about a group of chicks that go spelunking (not as dirty as it sounds) and end up running into something truly hellacious. All I know is that this poster looks badass . . . since it depicts hell just the way I want it to be . . . an all athletic girl orgy. Yowza. Look for this movie out in your local cineplexes this year . . . and no, not the ones that play the spank films. Do they even have those anymore?

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Clerks II - Cannes Trailer

Instead of watching this on the 26th, I'll most likely spend the night watching X3 and then hating myself about it, because you know that movie will treat you like an abusive husband on Lifetime. Sure, he beats you up all the time, but you can't help but go back to him. Why? Because you're holding onto hope that someday he will change . . . someday.

Tech Support - IT Jackass

Nothing special about this morning's tech support calls. Just this one guy who was a big asshole about the way the program needs to go on a computer. I will illustrate below, in a recreation of the conversation. It has been approximated to as accurate as possible, with the least amount of embellishments on my part.

Me - Thank you for calling *censored*, may I have your client number.
Client - Yes, it's *censored*, I'm actually the IT guy for the customer.
Me - What problem are you having with the account sir?
Client - The installation process asked for a user name and password. I put it in, and then later on, it would not do the updates anymore and asked me to configure it.
Me - Ok, well, sir, as far as I am aware, the installation of the executable file does not ask for any user name and password information.
Client - Well, I put it in there.
Me - You mean, you put it in the website to access the download and then did the installation.
Client - Yes, I did.
Me - Then that's different from what you told me just a few moments ago. The installation does not ask you for a user name and password.
Client - But I put it into the website. It should remember that information, it's only caused an annoyance here.
Me - Well, sir, did you read the user manual that is available for download on the same page.
Client - Of course not, the program should be intuitive enough that I shouldn't need to do that.
Me - Well, regardless, you should read a manual before you use anything. Everything from computer programs to televisions come with manuals. It's always helpful to read these before doing anything with your purchase.
Client - I shouldn't have to do that. Are you going to change the process so that the program remembers the user name and password.
Me - The process is not broken sir, there's no need to fix it.
Client - But it's annoying. I'm telling you there's a problem with it. You should pass it along and have it changed.
Me - I don't think so sir. Just configure the updates on all the machines as you know how to do now, and that solves the problem.
Client - So, you're not changing it. Can I speak to your supervisor?
Me - Sure, hold on.

I transfered. I'm sure he left some irate message for him, but what can we do? It's not our fault he's an idiot that doesn't know how to use a program. And to top it off, he's a self-proclaimed "IT" person. Yeah right. I bet IT stands for Intensly 'Tarded.

"Hump" Day Nottie - Tara Reid

I remember a long time ago, when Tara Reid was considered hot. Now, she walks around with a concave ass and a bit of a hump, which is why she's the hump day girl this week. See, 'cause it's a play on words. Clever. Anyway, what happened to her? Apart from becoming a raging world-traveling slut, err, I mean televised tourist. Does that kind of life really affect the way one looks . . . and even walks. I mean, just take a look at the picture below. She looks like one of those hell-mutants from the Silent Hill movie (which I haven't seen yet, but I saw the trailer, so I totally know everything about it). Are both of those holes between her legs so overused that her legs are buckling constantly? So many questions. Anyway, enjoy (you sick freaks) the pictures, and if you look carefully, you can see nipples through two layer of fabric. Wait, did I say "carefully"? Shit, Russian cosmonauts can see it from the International Space Station, with their eyes closed.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Killer Sheep Attack New Zealand

Well, not quite, but this New Zealand production of a movie called Black Sheep seems to be pretty fucking righteous. Yeah, I said, righteous. This seems to be the Kiwi response to Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties. I mean, look at that baby sheep, umbilical cord still attached, ripping that gypsy's ear off. Man, that baby sheep could go toe to hoof with Mike Tyson any day. That's how you know that this movie will kick your ass, yet still go under-appreciated by the movie-watching masses here in the United States. One more picture below, yeah, that's an adult sheep, ripping into Shang T. Sung (or at least the guy that played him in the movie), remember, from Mortal Kombat? I love this movie already.
FATALITY! Sheep wins.

Britney Baby Fumble - Video

Maybe I am beating a dead horse here, but BAFW continues to shine the spotlight on Britney Spears and her incredible child-rearing skills. Watch as she walks around, baby in one arm and what looks like clear liquid on the other . . . just what this liquid is I'll leave it up to your imagination. Then she utters the words "This is why I need a gun". 'Cause a gun will help her not drop the baby? What's she going to do . . . shoot the baby back into her arms?

Monday, May 22, 2006

Superman Returns International Trailer

This is not the final trailer for the upcoming Superman movie. This is a bit of greatness that is currently running before The DaVinci Code around the world. It is good enough to be the 3rd domestic trailer, as it is way better than the one I posted here a week or so ago. You get pretty much everything in this. Superman doing super-heroic things, almost kissing Lois Lane, Lex Luthor stabbing Superman with what looks like a krytonite blade, and so much more. But the best part comes at the end. I don't want to spoil it for you . . . let's just say Superman stares down a bullet. Awesome stuff. This will almost make me forget the terrible upcoming X3 movie which I will be watching this weekend. I'm expecting this 2 1/2 minutes posted here to be better than the 2 hours that Brett Ratner is going to put up on the screen.

For those with discriminating tastes . . . click here for the Quicktime version, which makes YouTube look like someone took a dump on that trailer's chest. God I love Quicktime.

White Women Can't Rap

Hey, that Eminem is starting to look girlier and girlier every day. And his rapping just sucks. I mean, take a look at this video. What the fu . . . oh shizzle, that's actually Jodie Foster? Oh, I get it. After experiencing this little rap, I have to say that the graduating students would have benefitted more from her pulling up her top like she did in Nell rather than have to sit through this "speech".

DaVinci Decodes Box Office

Was it any real surprise that the adaptation to one of the most read fiction stories of this young millenium would take the top spot? Even though it was not well conceived and the choice of director was as strange as casting Tom Hanks as an in-action hero. I mean, just look at how Scary Movie 4 performed a couple of months ago. Proof-positive that people don't read movie reviews before they decide to spend 10 bucks on 2+ hours of filmed entertainment.

The next couple of films on the list were designed to open to bigger proceeds, but hey . . . it's the Year of the Blockbuster Flop. Over The Hedge comes in 2nd, managing to make more money than MI:III in it's third week, which now drops to #3. So many 3's in that last sentence. Poseidon keeps sinking . . . ha! . . get it, faster than Fergie's self-worth as an Artist.

Looks like RV is joining the rest of the truly horrifying movies of the year, leading the pack of mediocrity that is See No Evil, Just My Luck and An American Haunting. These movies represent the kind of year that it is. . . shitty.

The bottom feeders of the list are actually some of the only good movies that have come out this year. United 93, a must see for anyone who has a brain that is still functioning after seeing the movies above . . . and Akeelah and the Bee . . . which has Morpheus teaching the Chosen One to spell . . . or something like that. There are so many ways to spell whoa these days. Oh, wait, just one? Whoa.

1. The Da Vinci Code - $77,000,000
2. Over the Hedge - $37,228,000
3. Mission: Impossible III - $11,015,000
4. Poseidon - $9,200,000
5. RV - $5,100,000
6. See No Evil - $4,350,000
7. Just My Luck - $3,375,000
8. An American Haunting - $1,663,000
9. United 93 - $1,426,000
10.Akeelah and the Bee - $1,000,000

Britney-Baby-Drop'gate "The Aftermath"

Here at BAFW, we (myself and the other personalities inhabiting my cranium) like to keep track of the stories that run on the site. So, I found some pictures of the aftermath of Britney almost dropping Sean Preston on his head . . . again. That kid's going to look like the retard in "The Goonies" by time he's 5 (if he makes it to 5, that is). Anyway, looks like Britney ducked into a restaurant and tried to hide behind the baby as she sobbed about something or other . . . most likely the fact that she can't pull off the outfit she got from the "Tara Reid: Classy Mothers" clothes catalog. Jeez Britney, if my mother were walking around with an infant me in her arms with her thong popping out of her pants, I'd baby-smack her and tell her to quit slutting it up for the Japanese tourists. My god. A couple more pictures of the BAFW Parent of the Year.

"Ya'll's got some ho-hos or donuts. I's tryin' to feed mah baby right proper"

Do You Need More Proof??

Last week I announced my "Parent of the Year" award, giving Britney Spears the wondrous honor of being best parent in the world in 2006. This picture should reinforce that. I mean, look at that adept child-handling. I haven't seen this kind of capable toddler-holding since Michael Jackson almost threw his baby out the window. These celebrity parents I tell you . . . they know how to raise children. I wish I had some of those growing up. I'd have way cool scars to show off to chicks. But alas, I had careful parents that never almost dropped my while holding a drink in one hand and myself in the other. I am so deprived.

*Side note - There's a lot of "I" in this post. I kinda feel like Tyra Banks. No, not self-centered. FIERCE!

Sunday, May 21, 2006

New Mix - This Shit don't Stink

It's been a while since I made one of these CD mixes, so . . . after catching some stuff on the radio (of all places . . . do you know they play music there . . . weird), I fired up the ol' iTunes and put something together. I got help from Heather, who's input was very much appreciated. Below is the list of 20 songs that made it into the last CD. No particular order.

Changes are no Good - The Stills - Logic Will Break Your Heart
Where is my Mind? - The Pixies - Surfer Rosa
Sing Me Spanish Techno - New Pornographers - Twin Cinema
Steady as She Goes - The Raconteurs
Slow Hands - Interpol - Antics
Fly - Nick Drake - The Royal Tenembaums Soundtrack
Verti-Marte - The Twilight Singers - Twilight As Played by The Twilight Singers
Fucking Up My Christmas - MC Chris - Life's A Bitch And I'm Her Pimp
Mr. Writer - Stereophonics - Just Enough Education to Perform
I Turn My Camera On - Spoon - Gimme Fiction
Yesterday Never Tomorrows - The Stills - Logic Will Break Your Heart
Dimension - Wolfmother - Dimensions EP
Chump Change - New Pornographers - Electric Version
Mardy Bum - Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Nott
What Ever Happened - The Strokes - Room On Fire
Ooh La La - Goldfrapp - Ooh La La Single
Crazy - Gnarles Barkley - St. Elsewhere
I Bet you Look Good on the Dancefloor - Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt - Back To Bedlam
Crazy On You - Heart

I'm pretty sure you can get most of these from a legitimate music downloading pay site . . . if you want to that is. Tee-hee.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

This is Your Brain on Search Terms

Um, seriously people, when are you going to start using the Interweb for something productive, like looking for information that will lead to . . . ah fuck it. I know what you people want. Nude pictures of Katharine McPhee. Well, you're not going to get any. You know why? Because they don't exist. Also, Emma Watson is 16. Why don't you people wait a little bit longer to start masturbating to images of her. Seriously, I half expect the lot of you to end up on the Megan's Law's website. There are a couple of searches bolded in there. These are the kind that I would have done. I think it will give you a bit of insight as to how my brain works. The rest of you . . . get help.

*Note - This is a small cross-sampling of the week's searches. Since I've been actually working for most of the 8 hours I'm at work now, I don't have much time to keep track of these.

cortana hentai - Google Search
gymnast no panties - Google Search UK
"emma watson hentai" - Google Search CH
Katharine McPhee upskirt - Google Search
"keira knightley" & nipple & domino - Google Search FR
daniel radcliffe,emma watson, paparazzi - Yahoo Search
Morgan Webb fhm june - Google Search
satanic movie - Google Search NL
Emma Watson nip slip - Google Search
gymnast crotch gallery - Google Search CA
Pictures of Emma Watson's feet - Google Search "she peed her pants" - Google Search SE
anne hathaway masturbate - Google Search UK
survivor daniel fire nipple slip - Google Search
daniel radcliffe's nipple - Google Search DE
"Fables" sneeze Bigby - Google Search
jenny mccartney nude - Yahoo Search
see katherine mcphee's bare breasts - MSN Search
pictures of people getting wedgies - Google Search
lindsey lohan no underwear - Google Search
daniel survivor boobs - Google Search
Natalie portman V for Vendetta pink dress - Google Search AU
evangeline lily feet - Google Search
new zealand nicholas shizuka blog - Yahoo Search JP
lineage 2 panty shots - Google Search UK
morgan webb's butt - Google Search
"head getting chopped off" +"at the top" - Google Search UK
"I hate mommy blogs" - Google Search
urbandead Denzel - Google Search IT
emma watson + french movie + nude scene - Yahoo Search
Emilie de Ravin sucking boobs hills have eyes - AOL Search UK
kelly brook flashing at premier of three - Google Search UK
mariah carrey boob slip in germany concert - Google Search
highway upskirt - Comcast Search
spanish tv nip slips - Google Search
nip slips by the pool - Google Search
emma watsons boobs interesting me - Google Search FI
snorgtees model - Google Search UK
"happy ending" blogspot massage - All The Web Search
Rhada Mitchell nude - Earthlink Search
jenny mccarthy + little penises - Yahoo Search
sell medical accesories , post ad , advertise - Google Search RO
jenny mccartney playing with boobs - Google Search
free nude gymnast blogspot - Altavista Search
hate brett ratner - Google Search
emma boobless try hard watson - Google Search AU
princess anne upskirt - Google Search

See ya next week pervos.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Gears of Pwn'age

I am waiting for "Emergence Day" with such great anticipation. Gears of War will rock all sorts of ass on the X Box 360. This will be the FPS that will tide me over until Halo 3 is released (and . . . I might just finish the campaign on that one). This custom trailer was put together by some guy and uploaded into VEOH . . . which is kinda like YouTube. Anyway, enjoy the death metal and the death-dealing.

Thursday, May 18, 2006


That's a map of the area that I live in. The blue blocks are convicted sex offenders. One of the guys was playing around with the Megan's Law website at work and I got curious. There were actually 26 registered sex offenders living in my area, but most are in the neighborhood of Highland Park, not exactly in Eagle Rock. The ones that are living around my house, though, are also living within walking distance of an elementary school and a high school. Most had convictions for lewd and lascivious acts with a child under the age of 14, but one of them had a conviction with sex with a cat . . . WTF? That guy, also had convictions for forced oral sex with a child under the age of 14 and a rape charge. What a catch, huh ladies?

If you want to check out your area to see how replete with sex offenders it is, check out the Megan's Law site here (if you're in California). My area is not as bad as another guy's area, which had 118 convicted sex offenders when he ran a search of his zip code. This is one of the reasons I don't want to raise a kid in Los Angeles. It would be like hiring Britney Spears as your nanny. Dangerous. Might as well let your newborn play russian roulette with a fully loaded gun.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

The Getaway - Part III

Our last day of our little vacation up north started, once again, with coffee and pastries at the bed and breakfast. We didn't wake up as early as the previous day though, since we didn't have all that much planned for the day. After a relaxingly paced morning meal, we were summoned to the Spa Cottage for a couple's full body massage. We were given robes, and told to disrobe, but being the modest folk that we are, we kept our underwear on.

We dis-robed in the cottage and layed face-down on the massage tables, and the masseuse's proceeded to oil us up and rub pretty much every inch of our bodies . . . except for the happy ending parts. I think. I only speak for myself. There was a bit of a partition separating my table and Heather's . . . and I think her masseuse was getting a little fresh with her. I'm not sure if that bit of subversive lesbianism bothers me at all though. The only thing abnormal about my massage is that the woman kept bumping the top of my head with her crotch, and since I didn't find her at all attractive, this was more of a distraction than a bonus.

The massages lasted an hour, and then we went back to our room and tried to wash as much of the oil off our bodies. We shared a shower, which is one of our favorite activities. It's just much more fun to bathe with a loved one. After that, we packed up our stuff, and then loaded everything into our car. We were determined to get more shots of the city with our cameras before we left. I tried doing the whole "random shots while driving" method but it didn't pay off much. A couple of shots were decent. We pulled over on the main street of Solvang and asked some people to take our pictures with a windmill backdrop . . . but when we checked the digital camera, they totally focused on us . . . and the windmill was completely cut off. Oh well, maybe the 35 mm will yield better results. I have to save up enough money to develop the 4 rolls of 24 exposures that Heather took.

I, personally, shot around 200 pictures with my new digital camera. I had a large amount of pictures to take. The 64 MB of RAM the memory card held was enough for 600+ shots in 640 X 480 pixels, and I kept the picture quality at standard. I wasn't looking for frame-worthy pictures. Just something to help us remember our time there.

At around 12:30 PM, after a modest lunch at the Burger King in Buellton, we hit the road south. Not a whole lot of traffic, it was actually quite smooth. We did get to see a large amount of marine fog rolling over a hill into a valley while on the road that looked spectacular. Wish we could have gotten better shots of it. It looked like someone had spilled a bunch of cotton all over the hillside.

Total roundtrip mileage - 566.6 miles.
Total hours in car - 9.5 hours.
Total expenses - More than I would care to admit.

Parent of the Year - Britney Spears

First, she drives with the kid between herself and the steering wheel . . . no baby seat in sight. Then, she drops Sean Preston on his head . . . or . . . the "nanny" dropped him, allegedly, so hard that the kid was woozy for a week. Then, she doesn't take him to the hospital immediately after it happened, and waited so long that Child Services had to pay her a visit to check out the welfare of the toddler. Now, she's driving around in a convertible, with the baby strapped down to a baby seat (at least she's learned something), but in a forward-facing configuration?? Oh man, I've never had a kid (that I know of), but even I know that child-seats should be rear-facing. Less chance of the kid getting harmed if there is an accident.

This is why I am nominating Britney Spears as "BAFW - Parent of the Year". It's still somewhat early on in 2006 to end the competition. But, seriously, can anyone top this. The only thing I can see beating this is if Angelina Jolie is actually adopting children not to see them grow, but to make yummy and international baby stew in an effort to gain eternel youth. 'Cause, eating babies makes you younger, duh.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Super Poster

Did I leave my iron on?

I kinda like this poster for the "Superman Returns" movie coming out in a month. What do you think?

The Getaway - Part II

The next day, we woke up quite early to eat breakfast. We had quite the long day ahead of us. Breakfast included hot coffee, danishes, and orange juice. It was adequate, but I was expecting a little more out of this bed and breakfast. I guess, for the amount I was paying, I would have liked maybe some eggs and a little more variety. We gathered our food and headed to one of the hotel's gardens. It had a couple of water fountains, with Koi fish. I noticed some people walking around, and . . . being that I am not aware that my voice carries, started to joke about the short shorts this guy was wearing. And then, I saw a woman with raging man-face. She looked like Ernest Borgnine with tits.

Turns out, I was making fun of a whole room, because they all sat down at the same table, and later on, I saw them coming in and out of the same room. Doh! Oh, and Ernest Borg-tits . . . actually a tranny. Which explains everything. I got a better look at "her" while refilling my coffee. Oh well, they heard me making fun of them and what can I say . . . I'm sorry? Nah . . . fuck it. Even on vacation I'm a jerk. LOL.

So, we had woken up pretty early to head up to Hearst Castle, which is another 100 miles north or so. We hopped in the car after showering, and cowering in fear at the stuffed animals that were nailed to the bathroom walls, and took our little day trip north. Once we hit the Pacific Coast Highway 1, the drive really got pretty. I recommend just taking a trip north of San Luis Obispo for that stretch of highway. You can see beaches, green fields, surfers, and even local wildlife that you might not see outside of an aquarium.

We got to Hearst Castle, former home of William Randolph Hearst, now a California State Park, and paid for a guided tour. A bit on the expensive side though. 20 bucks a person. But, what can I do, try to stow away on top of the bus that takes you up 1000 feet up a hill to the mansion? Maybe if I were super cheap. We boarded the bus, and enjoyed the views all the way up to the castle, and then took the guided tour, which highlighted some of the gardens, the diverse antique architecture that makes up the Hearst Castle, and even marveled at the indoor pool's 24 karat gold tiles. Yes, there was more gold in one those tiles than in our wedding bands. Kinda weird how the rich live . . . or used to live.

After that, we took the bus down the hill to the Visitor's center. We got some fudge and some souvenirs. Heather insists on getting shot glasses from the places we visit. I indulged her, and then we took a small trip 4.4 miles north to check out a beach that is full of Elephant Seals. We parked and played with some friendly Chipmunks before walking on the board walk. If you've never seen these creatures up close before . . . well . . . just know that you should with an empty stomach. Why? Those Elephant Seals fart every 30 seconds or so. And even if they are 100 yards away, you can still hear, and most definitely smell, their flatulence. After 15 minutes of picture-taking, it got to Heather, and she could take it no more. We got back into our car, and started heading south on the PCH1.

We stopped again at a beach, to walk on the sand and play with some puppies apparently. Not her puppies . . . get your mind out the gutter. There were some very friendly dogs out there, and since we're so fond of canines, we hung out with them while we jumped on some beach rocks while looking for interesting sea-shells to add to Heather's collection. We spotted some hermit crabs, which she found to be quite amusing.

Continuing our trip down the PCH1 back to Solvang, we stopped for some grub in Cambria. I forget the name of the place, but it served up some great hamburgers. If you're ever in Cambria, eat there. It's the first eatery on your left as you take the Cambria exit. After lunch, we continued our trek south and then took the 41 East. That little detour was originally intended to find a store, which we never found, but it did provide us with a nice drive down a canyon. It dropped us off 16 miles north of San Luis Obispo, and we then took the hour and a half long drive back to Solvang.

This time around, we actually arrived in town while the shops were open. Amazing, and we checked some of them out to look for a nice little souvenir that would make a nice Mother's Day present. We found something at a little shop just up the street from the bed & breakfast. It was a couple of salt and pepper shakers in the shape of a Danish man and woman. Cutesy type of crap my mother eats up. And, ofcourse, the requisite shot glass was purchased from another store to mark our visit to Solvang.

We headed back to the room for some television time. It was around 7 PM and we had been out all day. We had left our hotel at 9:30 . . . so you can tell that, after 12 hours of sight-seeing and driving, we were pretty pooped. At around 8:30, we decided to go to dinner at a country-looking place in Buellton. We had actually wanted to go to the Hitching Post 2, which is where part of the movie "Sideways" was filmed, but it was packed, and . . . after I took out a pole with my car's rear bumper, we made a quick jaunt to the AJ Spurs which was right next door. Their prices took me by surprise. A little over 20 bucks per person, but in the end, you do get a ton of food plus dessert, so it was almost well priced.

We were going to hit up the same bar that we went to on Friday night, but we were too tired to go out drinking that night. We headed back to our room, and went to sleep. It was kind of weird sleeping in a king sized bed though. Try as she could, Heather was not able to steal the whole bed. It was just too big. She actually felt a little lonely because I was on my side of the bed for most of the night. Eventually, I made it over to her side to keep her company. I guess we're not used to sleeping in such a big bed. At home, we share a full size, and we're practically on top of each other the whole night. Not that I'm complaining, I wouldn't want to sleep any other way . . . but the king size bed was different.

Monday, May 15, 2006

The Getaway - Part I

This past weekend, I dipped into my credit cards, and decided to take the wife out for a planned weekend getaway to Solvang, CA. It's about 140 miles north of Los Angeles. Since I get out of work at 2:30 PM everyday, we hit the road at around 3:00 PM, not expecting much traffic. We underestimated the 101 Freeway it seems, as there was traffic, even that early on in the afternoon, pretty much all the way to Ventura County, which is almost 45 minutes away from where we live . . . with good traffic. Regardless, we made it through, and enjoyed the rest of the drive up north.

We got to Highway 246, which takes you straight through the Danish town of Solvang. Right before we got there, we pulled over to the side of the road to hang out with some Ostriches . . . yes, the giant birds. They have an Ostrich farm up there which offers a pretty reasonable price for feeding and photo ops with their Ostriches and Emus. Nice little time.

After that, we made it to our hotel, after enjoying the Danish architecture that permeates the town. I had made reservations for this place a week or so in advance, just based on how good the room looked. Well, it wasn't quite that great when we got there. Different bedspread, too much "quaint-ness" for our tastes. But, it's just a room, and we did have our share of fun in there. I don't think I need to elaborate much about that . . . hint hint.

That late afternoon, we decided to explore the town a bit. We walked to the main thoroughfare, and discovered that the whole town closes at 6:00 PM. Restaurants were still open, but none of the shops were open for business that "late" in the afternoon. They must be on some elderly early bird schedule. We made it to a restaurant with a windmill on it and decided to sample the "Smorgasboard" . . . which is Dutch for buffet. It was, nothing to write home about, but . . . apparently, blog-worthy. Stuffed, we somehow managed to get back to the bed and breakfast, even though we could barely walk. It was quite the challenge.

That night, after digesting, we hit up a local pub and had a couple of drinks. Well, the Cosmopolitan I had probably contained 3 shots of vodka in it, so it might have been more than a couple. We enjoyed the local color, as we overheard several townie conversations about this and that. It was quite interesting. Then, feeling a little tipsy due to the Jack and Coke that finished off our night of drinking (for myself), we headed back to our room.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Shhhh . . . No Names - Search Terms

Just like that one romantic interlude you might have had a few years ago where you go drunk and totally boned a random, and still un-named individual (you little whore), this search term post will contain absolutely no names. Maybe a random movie name here and there, but that's like going to a bar and trying to pick up chicks with a fake name, like Lord Randolph Merrybonewrath Fancycrotch the III. It's all make believe. I did notice that the place to go this week for nameless and unspecific searches is BlogSearch, Google's answer to Technorati. Some interesting stuff in there. It's not broken up, a mess. Just like you were the morning after when you woke and realized that you were next to a complete stranger and couldn't find your underwear as you sneaked out of the house hoping to not be seen by anyone. Shame shame, I don't know your name.

Spoiler = LOST - Google Search CA
video blogs - BlogSearch
blogs are for wusses - Google Search
nude mpeg - BlogSearch IN
Lineage 2 upskirt shots - Google Search CA
hottie - BlogSearch
basic instinct 2 mpeg free - Google Search
naked - BlogSearch
sexy pictures - BlogSearch
gymnast getting wedgies - Google Search CA
upskirt - Technorati Search
french gymnast - MSN Search
ass picture - BlogSearch
upskirt photos - BlogSearch
wardrobe malfunction gymnastics - Google Search
nude - BlogSearch
basic instinct cut clips - Google Search LV
ladies - BlogSearch
spoiler lost - Google Search UK
trinity blood blog - Google Search CA
clothing malfunction - Google Search
arab nip slip - Google Search
nipple slips - BlogSearch
pictures - BlogSearch
nip slip malfunction - Google Search CA
gymnast crotch - Google Search
vagina - BlogSearch
Do Spanish bullfighters wear tights under their pants as a regular part of their outfit? - Google Search MX
nipples - BlogSearch
"satanic" + movie - Google Search AU
failure to launch screencaps - Google Search NL
public upskirt - BlogSearch
basic instinct 2 caps - Google Search
nude image - BlogSearch
gymnast wedgie - Google Search
v for vendetta screencaps - Google Search FR
free hollywood wardrobe malfunction picture - Google Search IN
satanic movie - Google Search
stop backstabbing motherfucker - Google Search ZA
ass pictures - BlogSearch
basic instinct crotch image - Google Search DK
armenian blogs - BlogSearch
leg show - BlogSearch
panty slip - Google Search
"peeing french gymnast" - Yahoo Search
2006 american idol slip - Google Search
panties - BlogSearch
full nude - BlogSearch
wardrobe malfunctions - BlogSearch IN
upskirt V for vendetta - Google Search CA
armenians smell - Google Search
idol panty - Google Search JP
american idol nip slips - MSN Search
Accidental TV Nipple Slips - Google Search
Turrets Guy - MSN Search
upskirt blog - BlogSearch
breasts nude - BlogSearch
pwns - WebCrawler Search
black eyed peas pissing herself - Yahoo Search
boob photo blog - BlogSearch UK
legs cross upskirt film blue dress - Google Search UK
punched my wife while sleeping - Google Search
mpeg 4 - Blogdigger Search
french gymnast pees during olympics - Google Search
WTF America - Google Search
jugg - BlogSearch
anal - BlogSearch
"lost recap" - BlogSearch
40 year old virgin nipple slip wmv - Google Search CA
sexy pictures - BlogSearch
bafw - Google Search MX
spanish channel nipslip - Google Search
screencaps underworld evolution - AOL Search
Havoc Screencaps - Google Search
"Gave a footjob" - Google Search AU
rescue opening - Google Search DK
bikini clips - BlogSearch
give me the satanic movie - Google Search
nipple slip clips on idol - Google Search
bumu korea boots - Yahoo Search
American Idol clothing slip underwear - Google Search CA
survivor nip slip - Google Search CA
celebrity oops upskirt pics - BlogSearch
is thc costantly removed from body through urine - Google Search
idol yellow panties - Google Search

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Mind Games - Playing with her Head

"You know, I've literally gone through 500 websites trying to figure out just where we're going this weekend"

That's what my wife told me today. Not knowing where we're going is driving her nuts with anticipation. Even if she's slightly disappointed by my choice of weekend getaway destination, the whole build-up and constant goading from her to get me to tell her just what is going on starting tomorrow after work is reward enough for me. Now, it's just gravy if she likes it. I think she will though. It's right up her alley. You know, pampering, girly shit. Stuff that would make a guy go "What? What happened to your cojones man?"

So far, I've given her a clue a day since she found out about it. Accidentally that is. She had typed up a sticky note on the computer with the suggestion that we go away for Memorial Day weekend. I had quickly typed up "way ahead of ya hun" and then went to work that day. My initial intention was to try to get home before she saw it so that it could have been a total and unexpected surprise. But, she got to it, and I've just added to the fire with a little clue-kindling. Right now, her curiosity level is at "forest fire".


That's all I've told her so far. Now, I'm sure if you're somewhat web-savy you could deduce the destination . . . roughly, to at least the area that I picked. If you want to take a stab at guessing where this clues will lead you, be my guest. Just know, you won't find Carmen San Diego there, gumshoe. I won't be posting much until Sunday when we get back. Maybe there will be pictures of where we went. Who knows.

Ashlee Simpson Sports New Schnoze

Well, someone's finally looking a little better than her older, more successful sister. But, the funny thing is, she keeps denying that she had any rhinoplasty work done. Umm . . . Ashlee, we'll believe that when you start actually singing your songs on stage rather than lyp-synching them Milli Vanilli-style. I don't think I need to tell you folks which one is the pre-cosmetic surgery picture. It's the one with Gonzo from the Muppets on it . . oh wait, no, that's old Ashlee.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Hump Day Hottie - Get Lost

Oh, Evangeline Lilly . . . how hot is she. I really had no idea who this was until I started watching Lost last season, and then she captured my attention with those eyes, and that shot of her in her underwear bathing on the beach. Ever since, my wife and I have become devout fans . . . minus the closet shrine. We like her, but we're not that crazy about her. Even though she has weird taste in men who have ears like a VW bug with its doors open, I still can't say anything bad about "Kate". I'm just hoping that tonight's episode of Lost focuses a little more on her, and a little less on the other, less attractive, survivors of Oceanic flight 815. I'd totally let her blow up my father in a "gas accident" explosion.

Halo 3 - Fight the Final Fight?

What kind of a n3rd would I be if I didn't post the latest on the Halo 3 buzz that came out of Microsoft's pre-E3 press conference. Exactly. So, here it is, the preview for the new Halo game coming from Bungie in 2007. Yeah, seems like they need to polish Master Chief's armor a lot so that it can look that shiny throughout the entirety of the game. And, what's up with Cortana? Or the Cortana-ish character. I hope my favorite AI construct didn't get herself captured like in that fan-fiction piece I read a couple of months ago. Unspeakable things I tell you . . . You people out there are perverted.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Simpson to Boobies - DOH!

I'm not sure what to think about Jessica Simpson's new redhead hair style. Specially when her titties look like they do in these pictures. What the fuck is up with that? I mean, didn't she have a pretty full rack a month or so ago? Are boobs supposed to look like fat boomerangs? I've seen many a boob in my time, and never has it looked so floppy and devoid of life . . . outside of a National Geographic pictorial spread that is. Maybe she just joined a tribe of weird Native Americans who all have red colored hair and hunt Buffalo for their juicy wings. Or something like that. Who knows. Anyway, for all the weirdo-jugg lovers out there, enjoy.

Gosh darn'it Pa', not in public!

Saturday, May 06, 2006

The Ladies of BAFW - Search Terms

This week, I thought I'd concentrate on search terms that were lady specific. I prepared myself for the deluge of McPhee-ver searches, but I must not have stocked up on enough vaccines . . . because this blog is in full on McPhee-ver mode. The American Idol contestant gets the most searches this week, easily blowing past certified hotties like Evangeline Lilly, Scarlett Johanssen, Emilie de Ravin and Jessica Alba. Anyway, here are the results . . . in some kind of order.

Katharine McPhee Searches - Total:65
KATHARINE MCPHEE wardrobe - Google Search
Katharine McPhee upskirt - Google Search
katherine mcphee, dress - Google Search
Katharine Mcphee shows underwear - Google Search
katherine mcphee boobs - Google Search
katherine mcphee crotch shot - Google Search
mcphee american idol wardrobe malfunction - Google Search PH
katherine McPhee wardrobe malfunction - Google Search
katherine mcphee panties - Google Search
katharine mcphee malfunction video - Google Search
american idol screencaps Katharine - Google Search CA
katherine mcphee sexy pictures - Google Search
Katharine McPhee underwear - Google Search
Katharine McPhee exposed - Google Search
katharine mcphee oops - Yahoo Search
katherine mcphee butt - Google Search
katharine mcphee nude - Yahoo Search
mcphee slip - Google Search
katherine mcphee photos - NTLWorld Search
katherine's wardrobe malfunction - Google Search
american idol katharine underwear image - Google Search
Katherine Mcphee underwear shots - Google Search
katherine mcphee nipple - Google Search
katharine mcphee panty lines - Google Search
katharine mcphee boobs video - Google Search
mcphee nude - MSN Search
Katharine McPhee Had a Wardrobe Malfunction pictures - MSN Search
katherine mcphee doesn't wear a bra - Google Search
katherine mcphee short dress - Google Search
katherine mcphee button pictures - Google Search
catherine mcphee since I fell video - Google Search
"katherine mcphee" vagina picture "wardrobe malfunction" - Google Search
katharine mcphee sexy photographs - AOL Search
Katherine Mcphee beaver shot - Google Search
Katherine McPhee breasts - Google Search
katharine mcphee and wardrobe failure - MSN Search
katherine mcphee boob slip - Google Search
katherine mcphee revealing dress - Google Search
Katherine McPhee boobs and panties - Google Search
katharine mcphee fanfiction - Google Search
katherine mcphee and see through dress and video - Google Search
mcphee upskirt idol - Google Search
nipple slip katherine mcphee - Yahoo Search
katherine mcphee bush shot - Google Search
Katherine Mcphee pix - Google Search
Katharine McPhee legs - Google Search
katherine mcphee no panties - Google Search
american idol katherine beaver shot - Google Search
Katharine McPhee panties slip - Google Search
who is katherine mcphee's boyfriend? - Yahoo Search
"katharine mcphee" dress split panties - Google Search HK
katharine mcphee invisible dress - Google Search
catherine McPhee blogs - Google Search
catherine mcphee high def panty - Google Search
Katherine Mcphee Coming out of Dress - Google Search
"Katharine McPhee's" toes green - Google Search
Katherine McPhees boob fell out on American Idol pictures - Google Search
katherine mcphee wardrobe malfunction close up - Google Search
what is Katherine Mcphee's age - Google Search
katherine mcphee video black - Google Search
katherine no-bra mcphee - Google Search
katharine mcphee's bare feet - Yahoo Search
katherine mcphee feet - Google Search
natalie mcphee wardrobe malfunction - MSN Search
catherine mcphee button slip close up - Google Search

Emma Watson Searches - Total:22
Emma Watson without a shirt on - MSN Search
emma watson does not drink beer - Sympatico MSN Search CA
emma watson's wardrobe - MSN Search
emma watson nude - MSN Search
emma watson's butt - MSN Search
Emma Watson wardrobe malfunction - MSN Search
Emma Watson nip slip - Google Search
emma watson naked - MSN Search
paparazzi pictures emma watson - Google Search
emma watson in bikini and nude  photo - MSN Search
emma watson naked -non - MSN Search
emma watson's toes - Google Search TH
pictures of emma watson feet or toes - MSN Search
"emma watson's feet" - Google Search UK
emma watson - BlogSearch
emma watson pictuers - MSN Search
emma watson's affair - Google Search IN
emma watson drunk and fondling some guy - Google Search
hermione pee toilet fanfic - Google Search
emma watson's birthday photos - BlogSearch
dan radcliffe, emma watson,affair - Google Search

Lindsey Lohan Searches - Total:17
linsey lohan ass - MSN Search
lindsey lohan - MSN Search
lindsey lohan at the kids choice awards - MSN Search
lindsay lohan oops nickelodeon - Google Search
lindsey lohan+exposed - Google Search
lindsay lohan's butt - Google Search
linsey lohan kids choice awards upskirt - Yahoo Search
lindsay lohan clothing malfunctions - Google Search
lindsay lohan upskirt infront live audience - Google Search
lindsey lohan dress nickelodeon awards - Google Search CA
lindsay lohan's butt shot at kids choice awards - Google Search
lindsey lohan wardrobe malfunction - MSN Search
Dan Radcliffe likes Lindsay Lohan - Google Search AU
linsey lohan's feet - Google Search
lindsey lohan nipple picture - MSN Search
Lindsey Lohan Butt Pictures - MSN Search
lindsay lohan's nip slip on the tonight show - Google Search

Natalie Portman Searches - Total:10
'Portman, schoolgirl' - Google Search UK
natalie portman dressed as schoolgirl - MSN Search
portman schoolgirl v - Google Search
natalie portman upskirt v - Google Search
Natalie portman v for vendetta pink dress - Google Search
natalie portman v for vendetta  upskirt  - Google Search UK
natalie portman dressed as a schoolgirl - Google Search
Natalie Portman vendetta schoolgirl - Google Search CA
Natalie Portman nip-slip website - Google Search
natalie portman upskirt v for vendetta - Google Search AU

Sharon Stone Searches - Total:10
sharon stone's boobs in basic instincts 2 - Google Search IN
sharon stone video paparazzi - Google Search FR
sharon stone basic instinct crotch image - Google Search
sharon stone basic instinct 2 caps - Google Search
sharon stone porn pictures - BlogSearch
sharon stones beaver shot in basic instinct 2 - MSN Search
sharon stone basic instinct without slip - Google Search DE
sharon stone basic instinct leg cross clip - Google Search CA
sharone stone photographs - BlogSearch

Anne Hathaway Searches - Total:9
anne hathaway smoke picture - Google Search UK
havoc anne clips - MSN Search
havoc anne hathaway nude video available in denmark - Yahoo Search
"anna hathaway" .mpg - Google Search CL
Anne Hathaway masturbate mpeg clips - Google Search PT
Anne Hathaway Havoc Video - Google Search DE
Anne Hathaway free Havoc clip - Google Search
anne hathaway - BlogSearch
anne hathaway mpegs - Google Search
havoc anne hathaway mpg - Google Search PH

Evangeline Lilly Searches - Total:7
Evangeline Lily breasts out - Google Search UK
evangeline lilly - BlogSearch
evangeline lilly nipples - Google Search
Evangeline Lilly nipple - Google Search
Evangeline Lilly oops - Google Search FR
evangeline lilly nipple slip - MSN Search
evangeline lilly panties pictures - MSN Search

Keira Knightly Searches - Total:5
keira knightly nip - Yahoo Search
keira knightly wedgie - Google Search CA
keira knightley domino mpeg - Google Search UK
mpeg keira knightly in domino - Google Search UK
keira knightly abs - Google Search

Amanda Bynes Searches - Total:4
amanda bynes wardrobe slips - Google Search
katherine mcphee and amanda bynes - MSN Search
Amanda Bynes underwear at kid choice awards - Google Search
amanda bynes oops jeans too low - Google Search

Anna Farris Searches - Total:4
anna farris photo - MSN Search
anna farris naked - MSN Search
Anna Farris free nude - MSN Search
anna farris nip slip - Google Search UK

Mischa Barton Searches - Total:3
mischa barton - IceRocket Search
mischa barton upskirt - Google Search
Mischa Barton Fom The "O.C." - Nipple slip - Google Search IN

Maggie Grace Searches - Total:3
Maggie Grace slip - Dogpile Search
maggie grace upskirt - MSN Search UK
maggie grace nipslip - Google Search BE

Morgan Webb Searches - Total:3
morgan webb nipple - Google Search
morgan webb - BlogSearch
morgan webb fan fiction - Google Search

Mariah Carey Searches - Total:2
carey mtv nipple - Google Search
mariah carey no pants show - Google Search IT

Jennifer Love Hewitt Searches - Total:2
jennifer love hewitt nipples slip photos blue dress nails done - Google Search
jennifer love hewitt nipple slip - BlogSearch

Rachel McAdams Searches - Total:2
rachel mcadams wardrobe malfunction - Yahoo Search
Rachel McAdams nude - Technorati Search

Jenny McCarthy Searches - Total:2
"Howard Stern" "Jenny McCartney" video - Google Search IT

Search Stragglers(A collection of ladies not popular enough to receive more than one search hit within the past week)
jessica alba wardrobe malfunction - Google Search
Jennifer Aniston nipslip - Google Search
Kelly Brook - BlogSearch
Emilie de Ravin+nipple - Google Search PT
black eyed peas fergie pissing - Yahoo Search
jodie foster nude - MSN Search
jennifer garner - BlogSearch
scarlett johanssen photo sexy - Le Toile du Quebec Search
sienna miller wardrobe malfunction - Google Search UK
slip of the tongue video Meryll Streep - Google Search DE
unseen pictures of rachel weisz - MSN Search

Friday, May 05, 2006

Fair and Balanced

In an effort to be a little more fair and a little less biased, I'm posting some anti-Mac videos from YouTube. I'm sure you've seen them before. They're all "humorous", but what strikes me odd is that it takes an average of 1-2 minutes for PC users to make fun of Mac and only 30 seconds for Mac to make fun of PC's. That kinda mimics boot times for both computers. Life imitating computing I guess.
Someone needs anger management classes.

My favorite one of the bunch.

The Red Vs Blue guys make fun of gaming on the Mac. I wonder what they would have done if Bungie was not bought by Microsoft at the time that it did. They would all have had to buy Macs to play Halo.

Creepy Lohan

I'm not sure what's going on with Lindsey Lohan's face in this picture, but she's looking might creepy. A bit pale and Lurch'ish. But, even though she's looking extremely weird, I can't help but being even more so creeped out by the little kid in the corner, staring straight at the camera. It's like he's looking directly into my soul. Like he sees everything bad and sinful that I have done in the past. Maybe that kid's name is Damian. Ah!! Devil Spawn!!

Police Brutality

As seen on
Nothing like a nice cup of fresh police brutality to start the day off right. This particular officer of the peace just decided he'd had enough of the female protester and just beat her upside the head with his nightstick. Kudos to him, for a proper show of authority . . . or as Cartman would say "authoritah!".

Morgan Webb - FHM Shoot

I know some people out there will appreciate this video, while my wife will be perplexed as to why I posted it. It's not because I find her particularly attractive, she's ok, it's the fact that she plays videogames. Why do you think I'm trying to subvert you into playing videogames honey.

I don't subscribe to FHM myself, it always felt like they were trying to be too much like Maxim. I don't have the issue framed on my geek wall. Now, the Sal . . . on the other hand, will have to struggle to contain the urge to whack off when he sees this a little later today when his shift starts. Over at Earthlink, we had cubicles with some degree of privacy. At our new job, not so much. I don't want to provide a catalyst for him getting fired because of indecent exposure.

I'm still posting it though.

An American Impossible Hoot III - Opening Weekend

Wide Release

An American Haunting -
It seems every week for the past few weeks, a scary or scary-themed movie has been released. Most of them have been sub-par entries, and I have overlooked and not attended the majority of them. Mostly because I don't want to use up my alloted "3 Scary movies a year" quota my wife has set up. This one I really wanted to see just based on the trailer I saw for it. Then, I started reading reviews, and they range from terrible to average. The Sal really wants to go see this . . . I don't know if I want to spend 10 bucks to see it though. Maybe as a rental.

Hoot - I don't know what this is about. Something about saving owls that live in holes. Why don't these retarded owls live up in trees? It's supposed to be a comedy too. *Groans* I hate kids movies like this. Not only that, but it's being released by The Walden Group, the same Christian production company that released "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe". Expect some subliminal religious undertones. If you want to brainwash your kids, take them to watch this movie this weekend.

Mission Impossible III - This movie I want to watch, despite Cruise's crazy behavior. I have read much positive press for this movie, and it's directed by J.J. Abrahms, who gave us one of the greatest shows on television . . . Felicity. Err . . . I mean Lost, and Alias if you're into convoluted storylines and ex-hot chicks that develop man-faces and weird simian'y upper lips. What the fuck is up with Jennifer Garner?? But forget about that, Lost is his best show so far, and M:I:III looks to be pretty kick ass. Now, if I could just convince the wife to go to this with me . . . now that's the true mission impossible.

Limited Releases (The ones I know about, I'll write about. The ones I've never heard of . . . well, that's what Yahoo! Movies synopsises were invented for.)

Art School Confidential -
This Terry Zwigoff movie looks pretty interesting. The trailer for it shows that this movie has wit and and I somewhat enjoyed his last movie, "Ghost World" . . . despite the total lack of ghosts in it. This one, I might make a trip to the "artsy-fartsy" theater for.

Crazy Like a Fox - After losing his family farm, Nat Banks (Roger Rees) plots a one-man campaign to reclaim the historic property.

Down in the Valley - A delusional man (Edward Norton) believes he's a cowboy and strikes up a relationship with a rebellious young woman.

One Last Thing - A charity offers to grant the wish of a terminally ill teen so he asks to spend the weekend with a supermodel (Sunny Mabrey).

The Promise - Set in mythic China, a mysterious princess becomes the object of affection for a nobleman, a general and a slave.

The Proposition - A law enforcer in the 19th century outback Australia notorious outlaw brothers against each other.

Faux Hilton Interview

What would make someone want to impersonate Paris Hilton? And then do it for a living. I wonder what "model" Natalie Reid was thinking when she took that life decision. It's a pretty retarded choice, but she does get a lot of free shit, and Carte Blanche on being the dumbest woman on the face of the planet. I guess, with those kinds of perks . . . wait, no, it still makes no sense to me. It does, though, remind me of that episode of "The Simpsons" when Homer impersonated Krusty the Klown. Oh man, that was great. The interviewer did ask Faux-Paris if she had run across any of Paris's enemies. Did he mean Education? Regardless, just like in "The Simpson's" episode, I really hope that the Mob has something against the hotel heiress, and they kidnap Reid and then force her to do a loop-d-loop on a tiny bike . . . or torture her and gangbang her. Either way, I'd laugh. You know why? 'Cause torture's hot, she'll love it.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Follow Up on Cancellation

Ted P. wrote me back. Apparently, TS25 has members as young as 13 using it. Now, when I was 13, I would have loved to see Natalie Portman topless pictures and Kelly Brook upskirt screencaps, but the youth of today is more preoccupied with turning a quick buck off of weird pyramid schemes. Go figure. Ted makes a pretty interesting proposition though. He will direct traffic to a site that I want to, except for this one, because the content is so questionable. So, anyone out there want a piece of the traffic action? Drop me a note (with a reason why you should get some credits), I'm pretty sure that 27,000 TS25 credits translate to just over 5,000 hits. Paypal donations might be nice, but not necessary (but they eliminate the need for a reason). Just think of it like the Church collection plate. You don't have to give, but if you don't, you make the baby Jesus cry.

Upskirt-City: Kelly Brook

I don't know who Kelly Brook is, but, apparently, she's fond of dresses that make her look like a dyed blue ostrich. I do know that she is an actress, since the pictures on this post were taken at the premier of her new movie "Three". The thing to note about these pictures, and I'm sure you'll see in a bit, is that she flashed her hairy cooch, by accident, to papparrazi, who were just trying to get some innocent family friendly shots of the actress. Those guys I tell, morals like a priest minus the child molesting thing.
Oh yeah, she also dates Billy Zane, which might explain the reason why she doesn't wear panties. Not big in the brains department. How else would you so easily flash your cooter while dating (and humping) a man that looks like an overgrown tampon applicator in a suit. But anyway, I'll give you what you've been waiting for, your hairy beaver chasers. Dive right in, and revel in her shag carpeting. Ha, get it, double entendre. That's French for you better fucking laugh. Don't make me get all international with your ass. I'll bring it on, UN-Style. Your ass will be so sanctioned you won't be able to take a dump without having inspectors scrutinizing every single movement made by your bowels.
I hear bearded clams are in season right now

Lost Recap - AnaL Plugged

It's been a while since I've done one of these, but that's because Lost tends to give America new episodes fairly unoften. But, since we all love it and worship the ground Lost walks on, we don't care. We're just happy to see a new episode.

What happened last night on Lost? Well, it starts right where it left off almost a month ago. Jack and Kate are at "the line" they're not supposed to cross, and out of the jungle, Mike staggers out, and passes out. They carry him back to camp, where Ana Lucia (AnaL) just had an tussle with Henry. Henry almost killed her, but Locke interceded, and knocked him out with his crutch. Meanwhile, on the beach, Hurley is trying to set up a romantic rendez-vous with Libby.

After tussling with the "Other" Henry, AnaL decides to get herself a gun from Sawyer, who isn't very keen on the idea, until AnaL attacks him, and then decides to have sex with him.

Meanwhile, over at the hatch, Mike wakes up, and tells Jack about the camp he discovered while looking for his kidnapped son, Walt. He tells them that they're worse off than the plane crash survivors, living in tents and walking around barefoot. He tells them about a hatch, that is guarded by only two men with two guns. He tells Jack that he will lead them there, to save his kids, and the kids from the tail section of the plane that were taken as well.

While Jack is trying to get the rest of the guns from Sawyer, AnaL and Mike have a conversation about the Other they're holding in the vault. She tells him that she can't bring herself to kill Henry, and Mike volunteers to do it. It seems that he wants revenge on him, and AnaL hands him the pistol. Mike gets up, tells AnaL he's sorry, and then shoots her twice in the chest. She dies, and while Mike is trying to compose himself, Libby comes in and startles him, and he shoots her as well. Then, he walks over to the vault, opens it up, and shoots himself in the arm. WTF!

The backstory on this episode was AnaL centric. It was fairly uninteresting, except for the fact that AnaL and Jack's estranged dad pal'ed around Sydney before he died. It looked like Jack's dad had an illegitimate son/daughter with an Australian woman. Nothing elaborated on that, but I don't see how that is relevant to the present island-based storyline.

So, two cast members die . . . and interestingly enough, it was the two cast members who recently had a little trouble with the law. Maybe Disney-owned ABC decided that they didn't want to employ outlaws, and went through with the off'ing of the two ladies. I know that Michelle Rodriguez will actually be doing time in a prison, rather than spend most of the year trying to work off 240 community service hours. Oh well, we were not fond of the AnaL character, but Libby's blossoming love affair with Hurley might have been interesting . . . seeing as they spent time in the same mental institution.

Upcoming June Satanic Movie

No, not the Omen, which opens on 6/06/06 . . . but this movie should have the same release date. It's that evil. What could be so dastardly wrong to get my pantalones in a bunch? Another Garfield movie. I'll let that sink in for a second.

WTF AMERICA!!! (that's quickly becoming a catch phrase for me). "Garfield: A Tail of Two Kittens" is being released this year, and I have to say, this kind of sneaked up on me. Totally under the radar. I saw the first Garfield on cable a couple of weeks ago . . . and it was terrible. I won't tell you the kind of state of mind I was in at that time that precipitated that decision . . . ok, fine, I was a little tipsy. Most of my dumbest decisions are fueled by Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Check out the trailer here. If you're feeling masochistic that is. Otherwise, try to avoid this at all costs. Parents, if you take your child to see this, consider it child abuse. Child Services will be knocking on your door faster than you can drop your baby on its head, Sean Preston Spears-style.

New(er) Mac Commercial - iLife & Others

Mac continues to lay the advertising smack-down on PC's with it's most recent commercial. This one touts the awesomeness that is iLife, and ridicules the PC's pre-bundled clock and calculator applications. They forgot to mention Paint, which is also . . . hours of fun. If you just had a labotomy. So, PC users all over the world, enjoy the movie. I know I did.

EDIT - There's a couple more commercials. Instead of posting each in its own individual entry, I'll just dump them into this post.




Wall Street Journal

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Superman Returns Trailer

OMG OMG OMG, while watching this trailer, I jizzed my fanboy shorts. This movie, will rock like no other. I'm not just saying that because Bryan Singer is directing, but comparing the video I posted yesterday for X3 side-by-side with this one is like comparing homo sapiens to cro-magnon . . . this one will just do better than the far less inferior one of the two. Two formats available at the Yahoo! Movies page, the Superman-esque Quicktime, and the X3-esque Windows Media Player. Choose wisely here.

H for Hump Day Hottie

Natalie Portman is just dreamy. I can say that about her, because my wife shares the same opinion of her. I think she'd have a lesbian interlude with her if she could, and I would definately watch. With a video camera . . . and a roll of Bounty papertowels. Now, I know she went through the whole bald phase for that "V for Vendetta" movie, but now that her hair is growing, and she's making out with chimps, she's looking pretty hot again. I even found infamous "wardrobe malfuntion"-y type pictures of her, but I'm not sure how sunbathing topless counts as a malfunction. In my opinion, it's functioning pretty well. Enjoy the pictures, they're NSFW, and this is probably the kind of stuff that TS25 was whining about. Pussies.
This is what "Closer" was missing to make it truly a film classic.

New Mac Commercial

I love this new commercial. Why? Because everyone at work will flip out and go on and on about how this is not true and how Macs suck etc etc etc. Why? Because they're all super-tech'y know it alls, and they are still clinging to their precious PC's thinking that they know what to do to avoid viruses. I'll tell you what you can do. It's not that terribly expensive. Throw out your Emachine that you got from Fry's that cost you two twinkie wrappers and a banana peel (I know, a great deal), and spend a grand on a Mac. That's it. You can put an anti-virus program on it, but that's like putting a condom ontop of a condom. Superfluous.


TS25, or Traffic Syndicate 25, should rename their traffic exchance to "Too Sensitive 25". Who the hell is making complaints about my site? All those people with the "get rich quick" scams? Sure, it's okay to sucker people into spending money on something that will most definately NOT make them any money, but it's not okay to post pictures of celebrities and their nip slips and wardrobe malfunctions? This is a crazy world. You know what TS25 . . . I want my 25,000 credits. You do that for me, get my owed 5,000 visitors and we'll call it even. I've outgrown your service anyway. I don't want to sound smug, but I get enough visits without having to sit around and click on a number in order to get more visitors here. So, what do you say TS25 . . . let's part amicably.

EDIT - I know the picture looks all blurry, click on it, and maximize your window.
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